The Next Raw Guest Host

This kind young gentleman has his mind on his monetary device units.

This kind young gentleman has his mind on his monetary device units.

According to everyone in the world, but more specifically prowrestling.net, the next Raw guest host is going to be Snoop Dogg. I don’t really have a lot to say about this, as I mainly just wanted it posted so that people searching for Snoop Dogg might stumble across this link. I like Snoop a lot and own a couple of his albums. And I still don’t like the guest GM thing one single iota of a bit.

If anything, I can say it is sad that they fired Brian Kendrick when they did. He could definitely have done a skit where he was smoking a bone with the D-O-double gizee backstage. Sadness. – Dusty

Shape Up Or Ship Out

Yes please.

Yes please.

In something that has been floating around various message boards and was credited to pwinsider, Mickie James has been told “to shape up both figuratively and literally”.

Now, let me try to organize my thoughts here. First of all, Mickie is an absolute goddess who I could crawl across a desert of broken glass to earn the right to lick her boots. If anything, she could stand stand to gain a few pounds. She certainly doesn’t need to lose any weight. God forbid a woman doesn’t keep her weight in the sub-75 pound zone.

Second of all, being sent to Smackdown is hardly a demotion or punishment in any way whatsoever. This just shows how out of touch WWE upper management is with its own product. Being sent to Smackdown is probably going to be a godsend for Mickie, as she will be allowed to breathe again. Smackdown is the only WWE show, and perhaps the only wrestling show period right now, worth watching. She just moved to the A-show, folks.

How much do you want to bet that Mickie will move on to a feud with the black hole of charisma, the Brian Lee of women’s wrestling, the ugliest “hot” chick in the history of the world Michelle McCool, while Melina will be wrestling Hornswoggle for 15 consecutive weeks? I hate wrestling so much right now. – Dusty

Something of some description is wrong with Captain Lou

First person to build a time machine back to 1987 and call that hotline wins a years subscription to the Torch.

First person to build a time machine back to 1987 and call that hotline wins a year's subscription to the Torch.

Former WWE Diva Dawn Marie issued the following press release regarding Captain Lou Albano.

Speaking on behalf of the Albano family, Wrestler’s Rescue is sad to report that Captain Lou Albano has fallen ill, and is currently at home with his family under hospice care.

Albano is not suffering from cancer, according to his family. While the family is grateful for the in pour of affection, please respect their privacy during these tough times.

Wrestler’s Rescue is collecting donations to be forwarded to the Albano family for medical expenses.

For more information, go to WrestlersRescue.org.
or email questions to WrestlersRescue@aol.com.

Could you be less specific?

I can verify at this time that Captain Lou definitely did not get a sexually transmitted disease from having sexual relations with local sheep. I don’t know how these rumors get started, but I am here to once and for all put an end to them. Seriously, this is like on Survivor a couple weeks back when Ben was talking about how “certain people” in the tribe were saying things about Ashley and “it definitely wasn’t Russell.” Like, ooookaaaayyy.

So I have no clue if Captain Lou has cancer or doesn’t have cancer, whether he’s autistic, has a broken leg, has a sinus infection, has an STD, what have you, but I can definitely report beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was the worst manager I have ever seen. He was the absolute pits. And, now there’s something wrong with him. Or something. So yeah. – Dusty

Guest Hosts Know Best

Smackdown was my favorite show even before Mickie James got traded.

Smackdown was my favorite show even before Mickie James got traded.

Nancy O’Dell announced part of a trade involving the WWE Divas last night. Fortunately our good buddy Jason Powell detailed the remainder of the trade since the WWE was too lazy to announce the full trade last night. This is the second time this year a trade has taken place,the first was under Donald Trump. If a guest owner and host know that their roster can use a mid-season tune up, the professionals like Teddy Long, Tiffany or even past GMs like Vickie Guerrero should have known that it was a good thing. I suppose they don’t watch sports because they annually have a trade deadline count down for any sport. Even the NFL has gotten into the act this year with a recent trade of Braylon Edwards. As for the trade itself, I’ll do a little break down:

To Raw: Melina is going to miss the canned applause something fierce. She missed it last night already with the half assed way they introduced her. She’s still one of the top 10 worst babyfaces ever. Please turn her heel again. The Bella Twins will get to rehash their switching places gimmick on the Raw brand again (Yippee!) and be arm candy for the male guest hosts. They are good looking so they can fulfill this duty.  Eve Torres is working hard at being a good wrestler and has some pretty solid mic skills as displayed with her interactions with Cryme Tyme. The absence of a posse may hurt her though.

To Smackdown: Mickie James will almost surely take on the charisma deficient Michelle McCool. This part of the trade had to have been the main reason to make this trade. Melina has no crowd appeal and has already wrestled McCool too many times since the draft. Mickie’s crowd appeal may be able to stop the black hole of charisma and make for an interesting Women’s match on Smackdown. I’m taking bets on how many times Todd Grisham and J.R. mention that these two ladies are the first two Divas to win both the Diva’s Title and the WWE Women’s Title at our forum. Beth Phoenix is also going to Smackdown which sucks some since she has had an on and off feud with Mickie for what seems like years. If they turn her babyface, which doesn’t seem likely after last night’s Raw, she could get some new gusto behind her. It is a fresh start for her though so I’m a bit hopeful that the Glamazon can get back on track.

rosa-mendes-flowers

To ECW: Rosa Mendes is quite attractive but she hasn’t been given much of a chance in the ring or as a valet for Carlito. Her feud pool is limited to Katie Lee Burchill so she needs to be attached to someone and my choice would be…um, I hope the Superstar Initiative kicks in because this list of choices sucks. Welcome to the land of “Future Endeavors” Rosa! - Kevin

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