Eric’s Blog: Ranking the Season 2 WWE NXT rookies (Week 3)

Varsity Club

Niiiiiiiiice.

A day late (and a few hundred dollars short), I finally finished this week’s WWE NXT, and while my rankings haven’t changed much, I’ve seen new things out of almost everyone.

1) Alex Riley. It’ll take an act of God to knock Riley out of this top spot. He proved again this week that he has the look, the in-ring work, the timing and the personality to be a WWE superstar. Jeremy and I talked about this over IM at one point, but I could see Riley in a faction similar to the old Varsity Club with Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler (and maybe master’s degree holder Michelle McCool). But he can stand on his own, too.

2) Kaval. He took two weird bumps this week — one after going face-first into the turnbuckles, hesitating, then taking a flat-back bump, and the other after absorbing Eli Cottonwood’s finisher on his stomach, selling it with a big facial, then flopping onto his back like a fish, suddenly unconscious enough to be pinned. But he still has more character than most of the rest, and he can go in the ring.

3) Husky Harris. I like this kid. His attack on Matt Striker was short but vicious — great forearm to the back, great senton, great smirk on his way up the ramp, with his vest off his shoulders. He’s a cocky redneck, a unique combination in today’s WWE. It could totally work, as could a tag team with Cody Rhodes when this season ends. Let’s see him on the main roster.

4) Percy Watson. I liked his in-ring work for the most part; his dropkicks are better than Kofi Kingston’s but not quite Randy Orton-level, and his flippity splash had some serious air underneath it. He works the crowd like a champ, and while it’s silly, it works perfectly for him (or should I say, he works it perfectly). Keep Urkel around, guys!

5) Michael McGillicutty. I still stumble over a few things about Mr. Perfect’s kid (a label I hope he sheds, but one that puts a high benchmark on his expectations). I hate his 360-degree turn followed by his arm extension that he calls an entrance; I don’t like how his promos sound sooo scripted, and I don’t like that he looks like a mini-Matt Morgan, kinda like a douchey roommate of the guys whose parties you went to in college. McGillicutty just strikes me as a natural heel. He still bumps like a champ, and his finisher kicks ass. Keep working on it.

6) Lucky Cannon. Lucky still looks like a TNA tag team champion, but his work in the ring is OK. His mic work is generic, and his backstory is weak, but he’s serviceable for now. I know, he’s this season’s Heath Slater, a white-bread babyface in a world where the audience would prefer more flavor.

7) Titus O’Neil. Now that I know his backstory, I like him a little more, but something about the fact that he’s such a natural athlete but such a tentative wrestler bugs me. I know it can happen to lots of guys, but he runs the ropes like a weinie and gives and takes moves like he’s just starting wrestling school. It’s OK to be a little more aggressive when executing a bodyslam, Titus.

8 ) Eli Cottonwood. Yuck.

PWO – Season 3 – Episode 20

Who could form the Karate Kontingent? I'm cool. I spelled contingent with a K.

Doctor Monstrous warned the evil doers of Pro Wrestling Ohio to beware because she debuts soon.  Joe Dombrowski then asked for Portia to come to a photo shot. Doctor Monstrous mumbled that she wasn’t Portia. Analysis: This was the same segment as last week except they changed the time of when she’s debuting. What crap. Score: -1.
 
N8 Mattson came to the ring with Benjamin Boone & Ben Fruth for a match in the semifinals of the number one contendership. Mattson told the crowd that Ben was officially a member of The Sons of Michigan. Mattson made him take off his “Where is Mike Tolar?” shirt for a Michigan shirt.  Jason Bane was Mattson’s opponent. Maguire announced that he was raising the bounty on Jason Bane to $50,000.  Bane used his size advantage to knock Mattson out of the ring a couple of times. Dombrowski mentioned that the Sons of Michigan hope to be the finalists for the contendership. Bane chopped Mattson hard. Bane hit some basic offense including a side suplex. Mattson turned it around with a poke to the eyes.  Mattson got blocked and reversed on a suplex. Bane took a swing at Boone on the apron which lead to him being cop blocked. Mattson began working over the leg with elbows and punches. Dombrowski said they have an interview with Johnny Gargano asking him about his possible role in the ambush attacks.  Mattson was still working over Bane’s leg. Boone interfered while the referee was distracted by Mattson. A figure four was applied by Mattson. Bane reversed it by pushing off the mat.  Bane gave Mattson some heavy shots.  The official got hit when Bane went for the F5.  Bane spine bustered Mattson. Boone jumped on the ring apron and got punched.  Bane went for the “Baneline” but was hit in the back with the TV Title by Boone. Mattson hit the Code Breaker for the victory. He slid out of the ring exhausted and beat up. Maguire and his bodyguard Mr Brinks went down to ringside to taunt Bane when the camera abruptly cut back stage.

The Matt Hardy Confessional

I have a confession: I love, love, Matt Hardy’s videos on Youtube. I actually subscribe to his Youtube channel. It’s not that they are any good, quite the opposite actually. They are low brow, low budget and embarrassing for the viewer as well as its creator. Of course, Matt Hardy is delusional and probably believes these are the greatest vessels to get himself over so I am only half right.

What’s worse is that I routinely catch these new videos at work. So I have coworkers, who do not know me from the next guy repeatedly walking by as I watch videos of some fat redneck pretending to be a wrestler.  I can’t muster the energy to explain that he is an actual wrestler. It is easier to take my lumps and solidify my already poor standing in the company.

Matt Hardy’s videos are proof that retards are not photogenic. It does help that he is delusional and believes these are actually effective in getting himself over. The real victim in most of the recent video posts is poor Drew McIntyre. The guy didn’t ask to be in an angle with a developmentally challenged fat kid and now he is saddled being the invisible source of his tard rage. Drew McIntyre may be a charisma less vacant vessel of a wrestler but he doesn’t deserve this.

It’s like being an only child for five years, then your parents accidentally squeeze out a mongoloid; now you’re left holding the bag the rest of your life, but you didn’t ask for the retarded brother!

“Look I can watch myself toot on the bzzzz box.” (Licks television)

Ok, so maybe it isn’t that bad but still. These are the funniest one to six minutes you can spend on Youtube. In an effort of good faith I am posting my five favorite links. Number one is my very favorite, hence the number one, but it embodies everything that is wrong and gross about Matt Hardy.

So enjoy the top five and make sure and subscribe to MATTHARDYBRAND. You will derive hours of enjoyment. -Jeremy


#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

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