TNA simply does not get it: PPV-like Impact to air in August

Chris Harris

Bring *this* guy back, that would pique my interest.

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA will tape a special edition of iMPACT! on Aug. 9 (presumably to air Aug. 12, the day after Hulk Hogan’s birthday, for what it’s worth) that will feature pay-per-view caliber matches with no promos or vignettes. As of now, the episode will be titled “The Whole F’n Show.” Let’s examine the facts and/or hearsay as we know it:

*Either Eric Bischoff or Vince Russo has said (and I’m sure the one who didn’t say it would be happy to correct me) that a small percentage of wrestling nerds clamor for a broadcast featuring nothing but 120 minutes of wrestling. He (whichever he it was) made fun of that. And now they’re doing it. So not only do they not know what they’re talking about (no one wants week after week of 45-minute matches, dummies), they’re also hypocrites.

*Wrestling, like it or not, is entertainment, and since the dawn of the sport on television, promos have been one of the components of the entertainment cocktail. From Buddy Rogers to some jerks in the 1960s to Dusty Rhodes to Ric Flair to Hulk Hogan to Steve Austin to current TNA champion Rob Van Dam, wrestlers have lived and died off of their ability to cut promos that draw fans to live events and pay-per-view broadcasts. So TNA promising no promos is the equivalent of promising a half-assed show. Believe me, I’d take a five-minute Kevin Nash promo over a 10-minute Amazing Red match any day.

*And when they say “vignettes,” do they also mean “video packages that explain the backgrounds of these feuds”? Without them, that means one or possibly both of two things: They don’t care enough about educating potential new fans about the ongoing story arcs in the company, or this show won’t feature matches between wrestlers who are feuding, which means I don’t care.

*TNA already gives away top-shelf matches every week, so how is this any different? Will some blabbermouth from TNA proclaim in the next few weeks that we’ll get longer matches (as though, if we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief and pretend there’s some sporting aspect here, that can be determined) with more clean finishes (now *that* would be special)? Whoopee! If this show is what you call penance; maybe you shouldn’t be sinning in the first place. Ask AJ or Russo about that one. -Eric

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