Vince is saving this one for the finals. Ugh.

What the fuck was that? At least there were a few wrestling matches, short as they were. And surprisingly, even through the opaque lens of Vince McMahon’s bathroom humor, I still saw glimpses of character during that stupid make-out segment (the best part of which was Michael Cole saying something about “Margaritaville” and Josh Mathews responding with a gutteral “Oh, GOD!”).

1) Alex Riley. Still on top but slipping a little. He took a bump off the kiss with the fat woman, which was funny but also overdone. You could tell he was ready to clown it up in this segment, which I’m sure endeared him to the boss, but it totally didn’t fit his high-school-jock character. He should have just shook her hand and moved on. And as usual, his wrestling was good. I know you’re supposed to grab every minute you’re given by the throat and squeeze every ounce of life out of it, but Riley was just a little too hammy this week.

2) Kaval. The East Coast Audio guys were right: Kaval looked good in his loss this week, better than he has in other weeks. His comebacks were more believable, his selling was better, and his offense was the typical crisp Low Ki work. I liked his various interactions in the make-out contest; he *was* out of place, but he didn’t entirely *look* out of place.

3) Husky Harris. I want this kid to have a job as soon as NXT is over. (Is it weird that I already think of him as a roster member? Like, I wanna know what he’s going to do on Smackdown this week. He’s a natural fit.) His facials during the kissing contest were priceless, and only a couple of weeks after ragging on him for blowing up in his singles match, he’s already come quite a ways in the ring stamina-wise (as best I can tell from a three-minute match). And he’s only going to get better

4) Michael McGillicutty. I agree with the Miz: Michael McGillicutty is still mediocre. But I see the ability for him to break out if given the chance to show what appears to be his real asshole personality. (Apparently it’s that potential that helped him creep up my list.)

5) Percy Watson. Oh, how they mighty are falling. Was I imagining things, or was Percy wrestling in slow motion this week? And I thought he was going to cry during his pre-taped promo about Alex Riley; I don’t know if I like that because it’s part of the character he’s so dedicated to or if I hate it because there’s no room for that type of stuff in WWE.

6) Lucky Cannon. The best part about Cannon this week was LayCool alluding to his possible homosexuality and Cole and Mathews saying he’d never kissed a girl before. His backstage promo about “wanting the Miz tonight” sucked, and he was properly squashed by the head McGillibuddy. Please cut him next week.