Matt Hardy wants help with autobiography, fried candy bar recipes

matt hardy fat

R.I.P. the sausages that used to be in those fists.

According to Prowrestling.net, Matt Hardy is looking for writers to help him with “several projects,” including an autobiography. What’s it gonna be called, “How to Cook Forty Humans”? What are the other projects, helping him lift his fat ass off the couch to get a donut? Actually typing his tweets for him when his fingers get too fat to mash the keypad? You know he loves to sew, does he need someone to write down his measurements for when he stitches together a “High Voltage” muumuu? Oh no, now he’s gonna need help writing an intelligible piece of hate mail to our site! -Eric

homer simpson muumuu

"Carpal tunnel syndrome? No... Lumber lung? No... Juggler's despair? No... Achy breaky pelvis? No... Ohhh, I'm never gonna be disabled... ooh! Obesity!"

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One Response

  1. YOu gave me an idea. WWE can bring in Rage and Kenny Kaos to form the NEW HIGH VOLTAGE with Matt Hardy, it would be like 3 Count 2010.

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