The Matrix Revolutions, Spiderman 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Iron Man 3, The Godfather 3, Jaws 3D

All of these films have the distinction of being the weakest movie in their franchises trilogy and now you can add The Hangover Part III to that list. The movie isn’t bad so much as it is so glaringly different that it is a head scratcher. If you are looking for the over the top lunacy of the first movie or the grim and dirty shenanigans of the second then you are in for a letdown. Sure there is still a decent amount of humor but not as much, well really nowhere near the amount audiences have come to expect from this franchise.

Don’t go in to “The Hangover Part III” expecting the same old same old. The movie is carefully crafted to not resemble the previous two films in anyway. Sure they end up in Vegas but gone are the bachelor parties, drug induced blackouts, ridiculous alcohol consumption, mystery and unfortunately the fun.

Thirty minutes in to “The Hangover Part III” Bradley Cooper’s character, Phil, yells out “What The fuck am I watching?” As Ken Jeong’s, Chang, takes the karaoke stage in Tijuana and starts singing Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” it was hard not to share the same sentiment.  It is a spectacular scene and something the movie needed a lot more of. It was unpredictable, absurd and funny. It ends abruptly and the movie rolls back in to its Fugitive storyline of the hapless trio trying to track down Chang.

The circumstances surrounding this film revolve around the newly escaped Change and his theft of millions of dollars from John Goodman’s character Marshall. After a series of events that you can see from the trailer and numerous television spots The Wolfpack head to Arizona and are intercepted by Marshall looking for a way to get to Chang. He explains the convoluted backstory and insists they find Chang or Doug; yup he gets relegated to nothing again, killed.

This isn’t to say the movie is bad, I enjoyed it, but after two biting and harshly funny movies the abrupt change in theme and attitude is jarring. The anticipation for the first huge laugh wears off after the opening moments that were of course ruined by the trailers and television spots. If you have seen them then you know Zach Galifinakis’ character Alan doesn’t use much foresight and ends up causing a rather large mess on the California interstate. It is funny and built pretty well but it felt unnecessary and forced. It was intended to be the movies big shock moment but having been ruined by previews it doesn’t get the laugh it probably should have.

The Hangover franchise was built on sarcasm, hostility and a real sense of arrogance and it has been wildly successful despite the fact there was really no justification for any other movies. As a standalone film The Hangover was totally different. It was mean –spirited, unapologetic and unpredictable. The second was even more mean spirited if not downright nasty at times but got too cute. This time around the nasty aspect has been replaced by bigger action pieces and an overwhelming sense of finality.

The story lags at points as nostalgia and call backs to the previous films are forced in to the plot. Instead of gong forward there is a concerted effort to fill in history where nothing is needed. Also, in the place of laughs the action grows larger and larger while the plausibility of the events diminishes. This wouldn’t matter much if there were strong comedic patches to cover these flaws. This is goes back to the central issue with the movie. You just don’t know what you are watching. While the effort is there to create something totally different it doesn’t succeed. A straight up action movie would have been fine. It would have messed with the audience in a big way but then no one could complain the movie was the exact same as the other two. This one isn’t at all.

The Hangover Part III contains the same faces and characters of the franchise but nothing quite seems the same. It leaves you unbalanced. Sometimes it works and others it just fails.

On a positive note the Director of photography, Lawrence Sher is top notch. Each set and environment is filmed in totally different ways. He creates totally different characters with the choice of lighting and backdrops. Tijuana is washed in dark, muted tones that create a sleazy environment. The neon street lights off the Tijuana streets barley illuminate the characters while inside the bar lighting reflects off of each of them in unflattering ways.  The close up on Chang singing shows dramatically just what this character is all about. He is a slimy, grimy man. Close ups of his oily, sweating face jump off the screen. You immediately feel a level of discomfort  with Chang and it sticks.

On the other hand Las Vegas is filmed with a shimmer that paints Vegas as the pristine fun palace that it was in the first film. As soon as the city lights are shown in the background they are inviting and comforting. It reminds you of the first The Hangover. Las Vegas was a playground unlike the streets of Bangkok with their dirt and filth. But then The Hangover movies have always had a very particular visual style and are one of the unheralded appeals of the films.

Another stand out of this film is the performance of Zach Galifianakis. While he was largely forgotten in the second movie the third is all his. His emotional range is spot on and despite the reported of ending for the film what he says and how he acts makes you believe his character. As the movie winds down you see a change in Alan and it is all owed to Galifianakis. You can see the sheer joy and happiness in his eyes as he finds a “soulmate.” You see the anger at his dad eulogy even with sunglasses. It was a good choice to give him the bulk of the action as it pays off in spades.

The rest of the actors are just there. This isn’t a negative but after two other movies what else can you do with the same characters and what they have been through. Bradley Cooper is still the dashing mini-van angry husband. Stu is still the nervous dentist looking for validation. Chang is still the over the top drug riddled malcontent. Chang may have been ratcheted up a bit but it is necessary with the amount of screen time he is given.

Look, there have been worse comedies this year. There have been worse action movies this year. The Hangover Part III tries to be too different than its predecessors and it shows. It has a few laughs but nowhere near the amount of the first two films. It illuminates the fact that it is time to wrap this series up and really makes you wonder if it was even needed. - Jeremy

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The Matrix Revolutions, Spiderman 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Iron Man 3, The Godfather 3, Jaws 3D

All of these films have the distinction of being the weakest movie in their franchises trilogy and now you can add The Hangover Part III to that list. The movie isn’t bad so much as it is so glaringly different that it is a head scratcher. If you are looking for the over the top lunacy of the first movie or the grim and dirty shenanigans of the second then you are in for a letdown. Sure there is still a decent amount of humor but not as much, well really nowhere near the amount audiences have come to expect from this franchise.

Don’t go in to “The Hangover Part III” expecting the same old same old. The movie is carefully crafted to not resemble the previous two films in anyway. Sure they end up in Vegas but gone are the bachelor parties, drug induced blackouts, ridiculous alcohol consumption, mystery and unfortunately the fun.

Thirty minutes in to “The Hangover Part III” Bradley Cooper’s character, Phil, yells out “What The fuck am I watching?” As Ken Jeong’s, Chang, takes the karaoke stage in Tijuana and starts singing Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” it was hard not to share the same sentiment.  It is a spectacular scene and something the movie needed a lot more of. It was unpredictable, absurd and funny. It ends abruptly and the movie rolls back in to its Fugitive storyline of the hapless trio trying to track down Chang.

The circumstances surrounding this film revolve around the newly escaped Change and his theft of millions of dollars from John Goodman’s character Marshall. After a series of events that you can see from the trailer and numerous television spots The Wolfpack head to Arizona and are intercepted by Marshall looking for a way to get to Chang. He explains the convoluted backstory and insists they find Chang or Doug; yup he gets relegated to nothing again, killed.

This isn’t to say the movie is bad, I enjoyed it, but after two biting and harshly funny movies the abrupt change in theme and attitude is jarring. The anticipation for the first huge laugh wears off after the opening moments that were of course ruined by the trailers and television spots. If you have seen them then you know Zach Galifinakis’ character Alan doesn’t use much foresight and ends up causing a rather large mess on the California interstate. It is funny and built pretty well but it felt unnecessary and forced. It was intended to be the movies big shock moment but having been ruined by previews it doesn’t get the laugh it probably should have.

The Hangover franchise was built on sarcasm, hostility and a real sense of arrogance and it has been wildly successful despite the fact there was really no justification for any other movies. As a standalone film The Hangover was totally different. It was mean –spirited, unapologetic and unpredictable. The second was even more mean spirited if not downright nasty at times but got too cute. This time around the nasty aspect has been replaced by bigger action pieces and an overwhelming sense of finality.

The story lags at points as nostalgia and call backs to the previous films are forced in to the plot. Instead of gong forward there is a concerted effort to fill in history where nothing is needed. Also, in the place of laughs the action grows larger and larger while the plausibility of the events diminishes. This wouldn’t matter much if there were strong comedic patches to cover these flaws. This is goes back to the central issue with the movie. You just don’t know what you are watching. While the effort is there to create something totally different it doesn’t succeed. A straight up action movie would have been fine. It would have messed with the audience in a big way but then no one could complain the movie was the exact same as the other two. This one isn’t at all.

The Hangover Part III contains the same faces and characters of the franchise but nothing quite seems the same. It leaves you unbalanced. Sometimes it works and others it just fails.

On a positive note the Director of photography, Lawrence Sher is top notch. Each set and environment is filmed in totally different ways. He creates totally different characters with the choice of lighting and backdrops. Tijuana is washed in dark, muted tones that create a sleazy environment. The neon street lights off the Tijuana streets barley illuminate the characters while inside the bar lighting reflects off of each of them in unflattering ways.  The close up on Chang singing shows dramatically just what this character is all about. He is a slimy, grimy man. Close ups of his oily, sweating face jump off the screen. You immediately feel a level of discomfort  with Chang and it sticks.

On the other hand Las Vegas is filmed with a shimmer that paints Vegas as the pristine fun palace that it was in the first film. As soon as the city lights are shown in the background they are inviting and comforting. It reminds you of the first The Hangover. Las Vegas was a playground unlike the streets of Bangkok with their dirt and filth. But then The Hangover movies have always had a very particular visual style and are one of the unheralded appeals of the films.

Another stand out of this film is the performance of Zach Galifianakis. While he was largely forgotten in the second movie the third is all his. His emotional range is spot on and despite the reported of ending for the film what he says and how he acts makes you believe his character. As the movie winds down you see a change in Alan and it is all owed to Galifianakis. You can see the sheer joy and happiness in his eyes as he finds a “soulmate.” You see the anger at his dad eulogy even with sunglasses. It was a good choice to give him the bulk of the action as it pays off in spades.

The rest of the actors are just there. This isn’t a negative but after two other movies what else can you do with the same characters and what they have been through. Bradley Cooper is still the dashing mini-van angry husband. Stu is still the nervous dentist looking for validation. Chang is still the over the top drug riddled malcontent. Chang may have been ratcheted up a bit but it is necessary with the amount of screen time he is given.

Look, there have been worse comedies this year. There have been worse action movies this year. The Hangover Part III tries to be too different than its predecessors and it shows. It has a few laughs but nowhere near the amount of the first two films. It illuminates the fact that it is time to wrap this series up and really makes you wonder if it was even needed. – Jeremy

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I had heard a lot about 2011’s “The Woman” directed by Lucky McKee and starring Pollyanna McIntosh as the title character and Sean Bridgers as her captor. The film has been described as a misogynistic film devaluing women or it was a feminist fantasy piece. Regardless of those opinions what can be said for sure is this is one well-acted badass piece of film-making. It has a little bit of everything as it is paced like a 70’s creepfest, the schlock gore of an 80’s flick but in the final twenty minutes are pure modern day horror storytelling. The movie really is crafted in a deliberate style as the concise running time of 140 minutes only gives about 85 minutes of actual film. It is a clear choice that everything you see onscreen matters. Is it goofy in spots You got that right but then the shock factor of events slaps you with seriousness. Horror buffs probably already know about this film but the casual movie buff needs to give this a view. -Jeremy

From upfitness.com

It absolutely drives me batty that Ring of Honor feels the need to push Roderick Strong as being in fantastic shape. When I punched fantastic shape into Google, that image above was the first one. Arnold may have been doing some stuff to his body to enhance it, but he was clearly doing some work to look that way. Over the course of the past year plus of watching ROH, Strong has been consistently defended by whatever announcer happened to behind the desk. Kevin Kelly leads the charge. In this episode, Nigel McGuinness touted his strength and endurance. I’ve changed to doing core and endurance training over the past five years. I have had a much easier time losing my stomach because of it. Which brings us back to Strong. Is he fat? Not even close but the guy has a bit of a gut. If he is in such fantastic shape, why does he have no muscle tone and a baby gut? It’s all to cover up for the fact that Roderick is clearly done being in shape. I Googled pictures of him and he had plenty of muscle tone in the past.

Roderick Strong is in an organization that reveres him or at least it seems that way with all of the announcers slobbering all over him. But they don’t see him suited to do anything. He’s not had his teeth sunk into a good story line in the same period of me watching. Sure, him and Michael Elgin temporarily feuded when the House of Truth broke up but they didn’t put much gusto behind it. I’d make an argument that Truth Martini’s break down got about as much attention. Which leads me to say, maybe I don’t blame Roderick for mailing it in and keeping his mediocre slot. ROH is the worst for turning their own celebrated wrestler into his own personal Ground Hog’s Day. -Kevin

Edit: After talking to my Prime Wrestling partner in crime Dan Kuester on ye olde Twitter, I realized I had forgotten an aspect of this hyping. Dan said “They aren’t going to say “Strong is kinda plain looking!” I don’t expect an announcer to undersell any of their wrestlers. The announcers do it so much though, I feel like they’re compensating for Strong’s lack of physique. If you mentioned it during one of his matches, fine. But they mention it multiple times in matches, this week included. Kevin Kelly & Nigel made comments before the commercial break then Nigel revisited the topic after the break. It’s too much. Knock it off or make Strong actually train. -Kevin

2012′s “The Campaign” starring Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell and directed by Jay Roach may have sounded like fun on paper but the finished product was incredibly boring and surprisingly lacking the funny.  It does its best to skewer modern politics but it lacks the cleverness and playfulness of Ferrell’s other absurdist comedies. The choice to essentially use Galifianakis’ character Seth he co-star of the movie is confounding. It plays like an overlong Saturday Night Live sketch that never hits the mark. The Seth character is a lot of fun and very funny in small doses but in a long movie format it wears thin fast. The film would have been better served with the same awkward oddball character Galifianakis has become famous playing This way the transformation would have seemed more natural and less forced. The movie flows like a drying creek. The gags get increasingly crazy but the story never manages to keep up. The underlying “message” of the movie is so over bearing it reduces the fun.  Oh well, the move is still good for a few laughs but it doesn’t receive a high recommendation. -Jeremy

Is it so wrong to acknowledge and borrow from and steal from the past? Why not have him be all, my father was Mr. Perfect, and perfection runs through my veins. Everything I’ve ever done in life, school, athletics, girls, you know it, and it’s all come easy to me. So the competition in the WWE? I don’t sweat that at all. And give him a nickname that suggests or hints at Perfection? What the fuck is wrong with that?

And Ted DiBiase Jr. Why not have him be all, I can take money out of my dad’s account any time I want. I could buy this whole arena if I felt like it. Spoiled rich kid trying to live up to his dad’s reputation. Give him a fucking bodyguard. What else is Ezekiel doing with his life these days?

Is any of this bad? Is it bad because it’s unoriginal? I would argue that it’s at least better than this awful, awful trend of bad names and one note gimmicks. If a little girl happened upon WWE programming, she would probably think Dolph Ziggler calls himself because he likes dolphins. This has to fucking stop. -Dusty

Zema Ion needs help covering his upcoming medical expenses. During a routine CAT scan doctors discovered a 5 cm tumor located on his colon. The results of the biopsy is still pending but it will need to be removed regardless. Zema’s girlfriend has set up  a Give Forward account so that fans, if they feel inclined, can donate to Zema’s bills that will total approximately $30,000. If you feel so inclined please give generously.

Now that the important details are out of the way, um, one question comes to mind: Why the hell should the fans be forking over any money towards his medical expenses? Shouldn’t his expenses be covered by the matriarch of the TNA family Dixie Carter and Panda Energy? He is an employee after all.

I suppose this could be too idealistic but isn’t Dixie Carter the head of TNA? Isn’t Dixie Carter the President of Total Nonstop Action? Is this the same woman who was quoted in a Bleacher Report Article from March, 2013?

So, I’ve just tried to create a really positive environment, and I care about these people tremendously—they know that—and I think that’s why they try so hard back, and why being successful here means so much to them. They’re not just collecting a paycheck and it shows.

In case that quote was too long to read she says she cares about these people her employees/talent, tremendously. Well then isn’t this a perfect opportunity to stick to her words and willingly and openly cover the costs for Zema’s medical expenses? Wouldn’t this be an absolute validation of her statement? In the interest of fairness maybe this has happened already. Maybe Dixie has reached out and explained they will cover his expenses due to him being part of the TNA family. Yes it is all corporate speak but seriously just stop. How can any reporter or columnist conducting the interview not smirk or snicker when they hear something like that?

This isn’t a call for TNA and more importantly Dixie Carter to step in and make one good gesture. This is a call for TNA, Panda Energy and Dixie Carter to do right by their employees and their business. Go further than is expected and what could be argued against. There will be the argument this is not an in ring injury and therefore TNA is off the hook. This is a valid thought but this isn’t about that. It is about Dixie Carter backing up her words. Backing up her talk of caring about every one of the people. TNA and Dixie have already made perceived mistakes, errors or flat out poor decisions with talent in the past. It is time for her to act like the person she has created in the public face. You care about everyone then step forward and assure and guarantee you will do whatever is needed for Zema to move forward with his heath and not worry about the potential debt afterward.

Don’t place stipulations on your assistance. Do not tie in a new contract with your help. Do not hold it over the talents head after the help has been given and accepted. Give the assistance that is needed and sit back to reap the reward. In doing so it is possible that it could build a stronger worker/employer relationship. It could come back during negotiations that said employee will remember the generosity.

If not, Dixie Carter and anyone associated with TNA or Panda Energy need to shut the fuck up going forward. -Jeremy

You can see the website for the picture well enough. If you’re blind but somehow reading these words, it’s from LOLpix.com. I will not be surprised when Curtis Axel is introduced by Paul Heyman at the 9 PM slot. My woman asked me who it was. I thought she meant Kury Angle. Oh well, it’s not a big deal. I saw the tease earlier today so I knew something was coming.

They start with ambulance. Ryback wants an ambulance match. Aside from the whole vehicle, what’s the real difference with the match stips? Ryback going full heel by running down the fans. Glad they’re putting some gusto behind it. I don’t think he delivered though.

One sure fire way to catch up, FF the introductions. At least Fandango, Wade Barrett, The Miz & Chris Jericho got entrances. But like any good match, nothing happens except for more WWE App pimping. Fandango and Summer Rae bring us back. Jericho ends up taking advantage of Barrett. The Miz comes in for the cheap figure four tap. Jericho partners with Summer Rae but then blows her off. I guess that’s what you call it. Weak sauce.

Vickie comes out without her better half. She rigs a vote for Jack Swagger‘s next opponent. Of course it’ll be Randy Orton. Very pumped about the Shield holding lots of gold. Kane and Daniel Bryan start witty banter then it turns into arguing. Kofi is the piece maker oh, because he’s teaming with them tonight. The Shield will have another easy win.

Sheamus gets the big win but Mark Henry gets the TV time. He went home. Jerry Lawler implies it might last for a little bit. Titus O’Neil is his fodder. Darren Young will factor into the match but Sheamus will overcome. Yep, he gets to eat some barricade. O’Neil takes advantage. JBL & Lawler are putting him over something fierce. Young factors in again which gets O’Neil a near fall. White Noise. Brogue Kick. Mitchell Cool even calls him game at the end.

I’ll still listen to Paul Heyman‘s spiel. I didn’t know Lesnar was taking a break. Good for him. Come back at Summer Slam. Oh my lord, it’s a re-package Michael McGillicutty. Curtis Axel has himself quite the playoff beard. His new name is a mash up of his dad’s & grandfather’s. Good deal. Heyam is surprised by HHH‘s appearance. Did the internet explode when he big footed a possible new star? Axel steps up. After a slap, we get a match between the two.

Alberto Del Rio and Big E Langston go at it. Was I not paying attention to the news or did I really not see an update on my boy Dolph Ziggler? Big E showing off the strength with the Del Rio cross arm breaker turning into a ring post baseball bat. Aside from a Lawler joke about Ziggler keeping AJ monogamous. Big Ending for the victory after some eye gouging.

Kaitlyn attacked AJ Lee last night. Layla El is her opponent even though she’s #1 contender. AJ locks in the Black Widow for another win.

Zack Ryder takes on Cody Rhodes for who is really in the dog house. I’m sort of in the dog house. Baby Momma Drama is dragging his feet on the move out. It’s time to draft some legal documents. Horray for friends. No, I can’t pay attention to another feed. Well, maybe I could if it’s silent like Ryback. Disaster Kick to put Ryder in the dog house. Ryback gets to pummel Ryder more. Mention that Ryder was Cena’s friend! Turn Ryder heel after this beating.

The Shield shows up for their match. I’m glad they got time to brag before the match. Kane & Daniel Bryan interrupt and bring a commercial. Kofi Kingston starts off the match. He gets to take a beating too. Bryan gets to be the hot tag. Lawler re-tells an already bad joke about voices in the head. Dude, quite after one bomb. Big six man stand off to break. Kofi gets to botch some offense. Daniel Bryan is awesome in the ring. Big surprise, I know. Kane gets the second hot tag. Double suicide dive. Kane & Reigns are in the ring. Ambrose & Rollins dispatch their opponents. Flying knee by Rollins. Spear by Reigns for the win. Glad they didn’t pin Bryan. More of a statement pinning Kane. HHH gets to act tough.

Kaitlyn & Natalya get to act weird. Cody Rhodes makes the segment much better than it had any right to be. No one is surprised when Randy Orton runs away with the voting. At least they didn’t fudge the numbers to make it look like a closer race than it ever could have been. Him and Jack Swagger start after the break. The match gets my attention when Orton starts selling a knee injury. More app pimping. I feel like it’s the Twitter rage all over again. So naturally they show the Twitter ticker after the break. Swagger gets Orton into the Patriot Lock. He had to switch legs. Ha ha. RKO out of nowhere. That’s his trademark more than anyone else.

Curtis Axel gets the big second entrance. Nice of HHH to let him follow. Axel looks a little bigger than the last time I saw him. The announcers are selling HHH’s injuries from last night. Almost certainly confirming that he’ll win. HHH is trying to shake something off. He can’t get back into the ring. Trips sits down for a spell. The doctor then calls it. I’m not engrossed. Or worried. -Kevin

Ohio Brewing Company – Buckeye Blonde – As I put in my Instagram (@difrango11) post …”so tasty, I almost took a picture of an empty glass.” Since it’s American Craft Beer Week, I went to Kenny Road Market and grabbed a pick a six pack. This company is out of Akron OH is one that I don’t think I have heard of prior to looking into their cooler. It tasted a bit like a hefeweizen because it has a spicy kick or nutmeg or cinnamon. Buckeye Blonde is made like a Belgian ale instead of it’s German sister. It is a seasonal beer and the distribution probably isn’t in your area unless you live in the Buckeye state or just south of the border in Kentucky. Feel free to call the distributors from this link if you want to find it. It’s worth seeking it out. Very tasty and crisp.

A couple of links for you to peruse: Zauber Brewing in Cbus tweeted this link earlier in the week that is worth checking out. “How to Decipher the Beer List at Your Local Craft Beer Bar” is the name of the article. If you have any time following what types I’m beer I’m drinking, go there.

In a Sippy Time Beer Review back in April, I pimped a local food truck called Ajumama which is run by fellow Kent Stater Laura Lee. She’s got a shoot at cooking on Live with Kelly & Michael. Voting started early this morning and runs thru 8 PM Saturday May 18th. Their food is extremely tasty so go vote for them, -Kevin

I went back to Pennsylvania back to back weekends to close out April so my weekend writing time was severely limited. My time to drink was not hindered though. Because this week is American Craft Beer week, I will list in chronological order the beers I had and milk this trip for all it’s worth with two different posts.

Otto’s Pub & Brewery – Hefeweizen – My older brother Ron is also a big fan of Otto’s. He normally has his sister-in-law will buy him a growler and he ends up paying her when they meet up. Since I was there, he had me do the picking up while our parents did the delivering for my nieces dance recital on a later weekend. I picked up two growlers of Hefeweizen. It was a solid beer but was not as crisp and refreshing as most types I’ve tried. If you don’t like the cinnamon and/or nutmeg that are usually put into this type of beer, you will like it because it is not as forward.

Goose Island Brewing – Summertime – This beer was so important, I didn’t even Instagram a picture of it. I do remember it being solid. I’ll have to try it again soon for a proper review. Since it’s obviously a seasonal beer, I’ll have to do that soon.

Yard’s Brewing Company – General Washington Porter – According to their website, this style of porter was inspired from one of Washington’s original beer recipes that mimicked Philadelphia style porters of the time. Good to know they brewed good beer back then. I remember this porter having one thing in common with Atwater’s Vanilla Java Porter, it was kind of thin. I did like it better though. The bitter coffee taste was not as forward and may have been because of the chocolate providing some sweetness. I didn’t taste the chocolate much either.

The Breckenridge Amber Ale was the best of the six but I closed things strong with the Yard’s General Washington Porter. Go celebrate American Craft Beer week. -Kevin

I’ve been doing extra house cleaning to make room for my lady friend. Baby Momma Drama is supposed to be exiting to make space for her. I just finished cleaning out the pantry to make room for all of her baking equipment. I love cooking but don’t do much in the baking department. I’ve already hit my closet to make room for clothes. It’s been nice shedding stuff I haven’t worn in years. Anyway, it’s getting late enough. I got my intro in. Let’s roll.

It looks like we’ve got ourselves a dance off to start the night. I FF thru their entrances. Fandango‘s outfit is outstanding. Is Jericho‘s partner from Dancing with the Stars? I don’t care to rewind. I’m hoping they’re giving them more mic time than dance time. The old berate the woman gimmick. Nice way to go with him. If they go with Summer Rae being in on it, I’ll like it even more. Good of Fandango to finish off Jericho with the dance floor. Awesome, she was in on it.

Zack Ryder continues to get TV time as a jobber. That usually leads to some mediocre gig like 3MB. I’m glad Alberto Del Rio is on the WWE App. I’m not downloading it. I watch too much already. Ryback rules.

Tons of Funk get a very short entrance while the Prime Time Players got squat. Sweet Tea starts against Darren Young. Wow, that was worthless. Young gets the hair pick to the throat of Clay so that O’Neil can get the roll up. Unlike ROH getting something of a pass from me for the Paul London situation, the WWE in no way gets a pass for having Dolph Ziggler wrestle anytime in less than a month. Anyone that loses that much memory needs recovery time. For probably much longer than a month. Fuck Jack Swagger.

Teddy Long comes out to give the verdict. Of course the clown car out for the verdict. Number one contender’s match for Jack Swagger and Alberto Del Rio. Big E Langston takes on Del Rio or Swagger but I have to download the WWE App to vote. Piss off. No.

Dean Ambrose challenges for Kofi Kingston‘s US Title at Extreme Rules. Damien Sandow tries to sell us on his ability to beat Kingston before said PPV. Ha. Sandow is doing a much better job in the ring being convincing than with his mic work. Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere. I hope they have Rollins & Reigns go after the tag titles now so that they can all have gold. I like faction gold hoarding.

Josh Matthews gets to serve up Mark Henry‘s promo on a tee. I love the other announcers calling Matthews a moron because he is. Sheamus and Henry end up lighting each other up with straps. That should be a fun match on Sunday. They’ve been selling this PPV something fierce.

Randy Orton takes on Antonio Cesaro again. Good on Jerry Lawler and later JBL to sell their previous match. RKO out of nowhere. That seems familiar for some reason.

3MB is in the ring for the Miz. I feel like he has been missing but in no way do I care. Lawler is animated tonight, sneaking in an Indians reference. The Pirates are doing okay themselves too. Tonight was not a banner night though. Heath Slater gets to catch a beating. Kind of a cool spot having Miz toss Slater onto 3MB. It didn’t look that smooth though. Figure Four for the win. Ah, big return says Mitchell Cool. Thank you sir. He did defend trying to call the match earlier this segment. He does the right thing sometimes.

Awesome, Reigns & Rollins are going for the tag team titles on Sunday. Make like dwarves and hoard some gold. Ambrose starts the match which gets the announcers to mention the idea. Kane starts out for his team. Holy shilling the app Batman. I’d actually be up for just seeing the matches the whole way thru. Evidently it’s an elimination match so Kane got tossed right before the second break. This crowd is going nuts for Daniel Bryan. The numbers game catches up to Daniel Bryan while John Cena was taking an Edge Coffee Break (TM). Cena hulks up from the fans. Attitude Adjustment on Rollins for an elimination. Reigns gets tossed for shoving the ref. Ambrose can’t get the cheap pin though. He gets caught in an STF. Reigns & Rollins attack to cause the DQ. Triple power bomb. Ryback came down and whacked the ankle with a chair.

Ryback isn’t going to play by the rules any more. Ryback rules. Big E Langston is going to end up taking on Jack Swagger. More app TV time infill. Good to see Ziggler doing media from his place still. This match is getting nothing from the crowd. Langston makes it to the ropes while Swagger has on the Patriot Lock. I was interested to see what they’d do with him. He’s gotten some squash matches but Swagger is a step up from that. Big E gets counted out. Nice way around him being pinned. Alberto Del Rio goes on the attack. They trade finishers. Langston joins the fun. Del Rio stands tall. The crowd is still sitting on it’s hands.

AJ Lee is taking on Natalya while a zoo is on the outside including the Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Kaitlyn and the Bellas. The later three are on the head sets. The secret admirer thing is so 1980s. The Bellas still stink on wheels. Kaitlyn doesn’t know what to do on this shit show. AJ locks in the Black Window for the tap out win. Interesting. AJ’s heat is dead.

Chris Jericho tries to look serious. The camera angle was weird. The promo was okay. He needs to be more heelish.

HHH comes out. Oh boy, he became a man in the ring. He feels alive in a cage. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman come out. Trips wants to fight. After much very good blathering, Brock doesn’t fight for free. Brock is up to 320? Ha. He’s bigger than his UFC days but not that much bigger. HHH calls him a bitch for the I don’t know how many-eth times. Lesnar acts like he’s taking the bait. Thet brawl. Not like we haven’t seen it before. Brock better win on Sunday. Even steven booking agrees with me. -Kevin