"Randy, the sheets say you shit up another hotel room! YAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

According to the UK Sun (by way of ProWrestling.net), the self-proclaimed Million Dollar Champion Ted DiBiase (who makes his summer residence in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts) recently explained to WWE superstar Randy Orton that Orton might be his own worst enemy. DiBiase told Orton that although Orton is a more natural athlete (what??) than current Vince McMahon favorite John Cena (huh??), McMahon “wants to have the peace of mind that if he is going to invest all this money in this guy, he doesn’t want to have a phone call in the middle of the night that his flag-bearer has torn up a hotel room or done something else stupid and got arrested.” DiBiase was about to explain that a top heel should also occasionally show some mat wrestling skill and emotion beyond grimacing… until he realized he was talking to a mannequin at JC Penney. -Eric