The Remaining Golden Girls Applaud The Nominees

Somehow WWE has multiple nominations for something called a CableFAX Program Award. I have never heard of it so it can’t be important. In fact, the Cable Ace awards must have had some prototype awards left in a warehouse next to all of those extra copies of “E.T.” for the Atari 2600 and decided, “What the hell, let’s get rid of these worthless pieces of shit. We can’t just give them away so we’ll create an award named after a dead technology and hand it out to the most ridiculous people we can think of.”

Really, was there really no one better to nominate than a wrestling program? It’s like they made up an entire category to shoehorn in WWE somehow. What the hell is an “Other” category? Does the beagle from “The Puppy Bowl” get some sort of consideration? Because that dog stole the show and is much more convincing than Shawn Michaels.

These are quite possibly the stupidest awards ever conceived. They include the mediocre and childish writing of WWE television and put it in the same breath as legitimate productions like “Californication,” “Flight of The Conchords,” and “Larry King Live.” Alright, the last one was a bad example. Shawn Michaels is in for a fight with “Who the Hell Is” Bear Gylls from “Man vs. Wild” and “I’m Lucky to Be on a Cool Show” Don Wildman from “Cities of the Underworld.”