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According to Prowrestling.net, Christopher Daniels, aka Daniels, aka Curry Man, aka the Walking How-To Video was charged with driving while impaired Friday night in Smithfield, N.C. Sorry, that sounds like a town where if yer jug ain’t got three Xs on it, yoo ain’t drinkin’! Nonetheless, the story at WTSBRadio reports that Daniels blew a 0.14. Dude, that’s almost twice the legal limit! You’d think in between “This is how you suplex a man” and “This is how you perform an armdrag” he would have explained to his liver, “This is how you process alcohol quickly.”

Hey, I just decided to look at the actual story. Here it is:

A professional wrestler was arrested on drunken driving charges during a traffic stop Friday in Smithfield.  Daniel Christopher Covell, 39, of Palmdale, CA, who is known by his ring name of Fallen Angel, was charged with driving while impaired after police said he registered 0.14 on the Breathalyzer.  Officer J.A. Calzaretta Jr. stopped Covell’s 2009 Dodge Charger in the 2300 block of South Brightleaf Boulevard for a traffic violation, which led to his arrest. Covell was released on $2,000 bail.

Haha, “Fallen Angel”… shit, *I* didn’t even think of that one, and I write for a wrestling blog! Alright, old man, get back in your blingin’-ass 2009 whip and get home. Here, I’ll help you: “Insert key. Turn key. Buckle safety belt. Place hands at 10 and 2. Depress brake. Shift into drive. Depress gas. Don’t drink.” -Eric