"I'm rich, beeotch!" / "Yeah, but, um, do you have THESE? BAM! BAM!"

According to Prowrestling.net, Bryan Danielson will wrestle for Rampage Pro Wrestling on July 31 in either Macon (Johnny B. Badd’s hometown) or Warner Robbins (Ron Simmons’ hometown), Ga. In other news, “Rampage” used to be my backyard wrestling nickname. Oh, and Jimmy Rave also will be there, so bring your toilet paper. Not to throw at him, but because he’s a real bathroom break.

Also according to Prowrestling.net (via MMAJunkie.com), Brock Lesnar scored a $400,000 payday for his World Hvt. Title fight against Shane Carwin at UFC 116 this past weekend. This doesn’t include the $75,000 bonus Lesnar earned for his “Submission of the Night” and the all-white-meat and Metamucil dinner Sable cooked for him that weekend. By contrast, Carwin’s base pay for this fight was $40,000, or one-tenth of Lesnar’s guaranteed figure. Then again, Lesnar could have fought his extracted lower intestine on pay-per-view and it would have sold a million buys.

And while I’m borrowing liberally from Prowrestling.net, Eric Bischoff’s Micro Championship Wrestling will hold a live event Aug. 6 in Austin, Texas. This is not Bischoff’s first foray into midget wrestling; he used to book Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko! Hey, he should put a mask on one of these little guys and call him Micro Machine! HEYOOOOO! -Eric