Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

If the WWE had this on the Titantron, it'd be the only way for me to enjoy Raw more. In case there's any recourse and that it's not already obvious, picture by TMZ.com.

I’m sitting on my couch for the first time ever doing my blog. I had to sit on the most uncomfortable wooden chair in front of my desk to hack away. I know WiFi and a lap top isn’t anything new but hot damn, it’s new to me. I got a Coors Light, two passed out dogs and only 33 minutes of Raw to catch up on. Let’s do it.

I haven’t fully figured this thing out yet. Not sure I completely dig Safari. I have yet to download Firefox. Fancy car by Del Rio. Going all out for Canada, eh? Cheap Canadian joke out of the way for me. Lots of Del Rio signs. The push is working with the belt so far. Cena interrupting very early. I like the introduction joke by Cena. He might be killing the car gimmick. The mole exists again. Jeremy & I just made fun of that last week. CM Punk looks to be back in the title picture. See internet, Punk won’t be forgotten. Punk making fun of Cena having another title shot. Del Rio gets a cheap win in a three way at the next pay per view. Jack Tunney! Punk having his conspiracy. Nice.Del Rio making no sense in his retort to Punk. HHH gives us a moment of his time. Another Punk and Cena match. I hope they give it enough time.

Morrison gets to job to Del Rio. Another good idea to keep Del Rio on a win streak. Ah, Night of Champions. They’re talking up Morrison. He can recover from the loss. Del Rio in control as we hit the commercials.

Del Rio rests his way after the break. His match with Daniel Bryan on Smackdown restored some confidence in him for me. Sloopy ass DDT by Morrison gets him only two.  Nice little ending to the match. Give Morrison a bit of an out with the ring post. Cole making a lame attempt to cover for Del Rio. I can’t blame him for trying at his job. That’s better than normal for him.

The Bellas are dressed different. What the hell is this music? It’s terrible even for a woman’s entrance. Sort of interesting promo by Beth & Natalya. Canada chanting “We want puppies.” You will not get that for sure. Eve has a finisher, huh? The WWE did pick four good ladies to feature. Oh, public talk with Nash.

Vickie intros Jack Swagger. Rematch with Riley. Lawler pushing the multi client manager. Seriously, the mole is listening again. Decent way of ending that match. I was thinking they didn’t want to have Riley lose again. Ziggler wants to be an only client. I don’t get that. Can you see some arguing with Scott Boras because he has more than one client?

HHH gets a second appearance. Nash getting the “What?” treatment. Nash getting the dumb treatment from HHH. I was using “Clue” jokes last week too. What they hell. They are listening to us. Crowd is finally getting behind Punk. Nash with the cheap shot. They get to argue on the way out. Why no one suggested Nash get a contract in that segment is beyond me. It’s logical for parties involved. Tag champion teaser. Hilarious.

HHH is still too stupid to hire Nash to solve the problem. Even the poor announcers have to act dumb and not suggest hiring Nash. Oh my lord, McGillicutty & Otunga have the worst music. They topped Eve’s. Plus, it made them sound like Chippendale’s dancers. Cole just called it “Textgate.” Not blaming Cole for that either. Just slap gate on anything now and it’s a scandal. Lawler calling out the tag champs like Cole calls out Daniel Bryan. Cole trying to make it sound sad to watch college sports. Good title change. Kofi & Evan needed something to do. I could say this will revive the division but I doubt it. The announcers solid tag team wrestling the second half of the match though. Throwing us off the scent.

They show highlights again of the title change. Still not buying what they’re selling. Good lord. Interview by Josh. Evan doesn’t get to talk but gets champagne dumped on him. Old Johnny is looking like a good fall guy after that segment.

Miz & R Truth attack Santino? Really? Really? Really? R Truth killing it. Truth feeding Miz without just stopping. Good segue. Miz getting a nice edge out of this. He was still a little joke related sometimes still. Truth closing strong. Miz didn’t need to go with that line. You suck rap. Nice.

I’m not quite caught up but I’m close. Hard to cheer a guy for the third time in a night. Lawler calling out Punk for some reason. Punk takes the commercial bump. Match is starting out OK.

Cole recaps the happenings. Punk on the offense pretty quickly and decisively. JR has been agreeing with Cole or moderating more tonight. Interesting dynamic shift if they stick with it. GTS only gets a two count. I figured the match was going longer. Punk misses the Savage Elbow. Cena connects with his whisk risk offense for a near fall. Ridiculous kick out after the elbow and running knee. Punk kicks out from the Attitude Adjustment. Figured that would happen too. Nash interrupts. Cena gets a win similar to Punk’s against him. Good call on the finish. Del  Rio with the assault of Cena. Johnny Ace finally stops the beating. I like the over board stuff for Del Rio too. It gives him another layer. –Kevin

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