Well well well, look what the cat dragged in: According to Prowrestling.net, fresh out of rehab, Matt Hardy will appear for UCW this Friday night in Norcross, Ga., to wrestle Luke Gallows. According to the self-aggrandizing superstar of superstars:

I have signed to compete with UCW…

And in the video description:

I’ve just agreed to wrestle for UCW…

Not to mention he, out of the goodness of his own warm, red, beating heart, Flip-cammed a (decent??) 1:15 promo for his match. (CORRECTION: He cut a decent 57-second promo, then petered out with that “will not die” garbage.) UCW should be so lucky that he signed, agreed, and dusted off that lonely old camcorder to promote the match. Frankly, UCW should be so lucky that he was able to control his withdrawal shakes long enough to sign, that he was coherent enough to agree, and that he didn’t just taze his brother’s girlfriend on camera instead of talking about his career. “WEL-COME-BACK! WEL-COME-BACK!” -Eric