The Art of Wrestling: T-Shirt Factory

TNA had a problem with ripping off Afflicition and generally being lazy. The WWE isn’t much further behind. They aren’t lazy in cranking out shirts. The WWE also isn’t ripping off another company for their designs lazy. They are guilty of just being plain lazy when it comes to imagining shirts. Part of the problem has got to be the wrestlers themselves as Zack Ryder (Not a great shirt but certainly better than those about to get lambasted), CM Punk (I dig the hometown loyalty) and Santino Marella (Appropriate given his character) all have some interest in the “Authentic” category of WWE shirts. They have categories for Authentic, Basics, Limited Edition, Old School, Retro (I’m not sure what the difference is between those two categories) Superstar Logo, Top Rope and WWE Officially Licensed. I thought it was important to note the amount of categories because it helps my argument that they’re just a t shirt factory instead of going for quality shirts that are more likely to sell. I’m not surprised that two of the three shirts mentioned above are top sellers.

The first person on this list is my boy Dolph Ziggler. The WWE uses their brilliant naming of said Superstar to go straight for the Boogie Nights theme of neon lights. I’d be on board for that idea but they were super lazy with the design. It’s just the beginning of his song “I Am Perfection” in white, surrounded by blue with his initials “DZ” tacked onto the bottom. There isn’t a graphic in sight. On the back, it’s the same deal except it’s his name in white with the same blue surround. I know in the past I’ve harped on simplicity but this goes a bit too simple. There’s a borderline and this one falls on the lazy side of boring.

Dolph Ziggler’s newest offering isn’t any better. It says “It’s Not Show-ing Off” on five lines. The lettering is mainly white with a splashes of blue. The blue may be a picture but it’s hard to tell even with the magnifying glass. “If You Back It Up” is on the back of the shirt with the same white and blue patterns. It’s completely and utterly uninspired. I think it’s safe to say that Dolph didn’t major in marketing or have any friends who went to the Fashion School at Kent State.

Next on the list is the biggest offender (wokka wokka) is the Big Show. The first problem was that John Cena has been wearing dog tags for quite some time. Second, John Cena has switched from the jorts to the camo shorts before Big Show changed his attire. I don’t understand two of your biggest stars having the same look. With those problems in tow, the WWE decides to go with a shirt that has the initials “W.M.D.” on the front, dog bones for enlisted rank insignia on a sleeve and on the back it says “Big Show” with seven stars below it then “Precision Strike” on two lines. It’s just another shirt that screams “lazy”.

One would think that a Superstar like Sheamus would get a shirt worthy of his soon to be status as full time WWE main eventer. Everyone would be wrong. It’s just a white Celtic cross that is blurry with the words “Great White”. On the back of the shirt it says Laoch (meaning warrior in Gaelic) that is white and fuzzy. Over top of that in green is Sheamus in much smaller letters. Both words appear to be getting sucked into the “O” of Laoch. The use of green for Sheamus is confusing because color isn’t anywhere else on the shirt. Considering he’s the Great White, don’t you just stick to white? I know he’s Irish and you “need” to stick with stereotypical green or orange but you really don’t.

I could go on about many of these shirts but I’m just going to give you a list because the break downs would be just as easy as the shirt designs. Guilty parties involve the Miz, John Laurinaitis, Mark Henry, Alberto Del Rio, R Truth, Kofi Kingston, Ted DiBiase and Kane. The biggest offenders though are the Rock and John Cena. Considering both shirts are selling like hot cakes, I get the odd feeling the WWE is going to continue to be lazy and maintain their status a a t-shirt factory. -Kevin

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