Headlines: School commons named after a McMahon, John Cena all over media, Iron Sheik/WrestleMania rumors
"Iran, numbar von! Meeses Kennedy McMahon, numbar von! Beeg Daddy Vee, ACK-TOOEY!"
Far be it from me to make a picture of scantily clad Beulah McGillicutty drop further down our front page, but this is important news, people! According to Prowrestling.net, Sacred Heart University, of Fairfield, Conn., will name its student commons area after longtime Board of Trustees member and all-around swell gal Linda McMahon. Of course, McMahon is running for U.S. Senate again, so throwing money at the Catholics in a Northeast state will make her look like, well, 5 million bucks. Clearly the decision makers at Sacred Heart University never received their copy of WWE Backlash 2006 on DVD.
Also according to Prowrestling.net, John Cena has been all over the damn place (and rightfully so, since he kills his media appearances every time) promoting WWE WrestleMania 28. Notable soundbites include Cena on HLN calling out the guys of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” one year out from WrestleMania 29, to be held in Jersey; Cena explicitly laying out his beef with the Rock on SI.com, citing quotes like, “I’ll never go back to wrestling”; and Cena taking the bullet for the spinner belt idea plus praising Tyler Black on some random radio show. You’d think with as much talking as this guy does that he could cut a promo that wasn’t completely tone-deaf, but he’s still interesting to listen to outside a WWE venue.
Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, both Iron Sheik and Viscera/Big Daddy V/Mabel/King Mabel have reportedly altered their WrestleMania weekend bookings with other promotions, leading folks to believe these two may appear in some fashion at WrestleMania 28. A) How terrible would it be if Big Daddy V took Albert’s rumored spot as John Laurinitis’ henchman? (That’s a real question for Dusty and a rhetorical one for everyone else.) B) Fast Fact: It would take Iron Sheik longer to walk to the ring than it would the 500-pound Viscera. C) Don’t let Evan Bourne anywhere near Iron Sheik.
Is that the plan with Mabel? Because my first guess would have been that they’d have him do some kind of comedy bit backstage at Mania, and then he wouldn’t be seen or heard from for several months, and then the next thing you’d hear about him is that they’ve let him go and everyone would marvel about how they didn’t even remember he was still on the payroll.
I can go either way about him being Johnny Ace’s henchman. It’s better because that role, while prominently featured, is probably not a main event character. It’s an ancillary character that just happens to be around a lot. And I want Albert to have room to breath, possibly getting up into the main event picture to give guys like Cena and Orton something fresh to do, which they desperately need.
On the other hand, not being associated with a top act might make Albert more susceptible to wither on the vine, toiling in the midcards and not being used properly. And then they’ll wonder why there was so much hype for him when he’s not getting over, blame him for it, and fire him. So yeah, it’s a catch 22 if that’s the case. I want to say, though, that I’d rather have Mabel be the henchman and see Albert be utilized in a singles role separately, if I had to choose.
I also feel compelled to point out how irresponsible it is for them to bring Sheik back and give him some money when they know damn well what he is going to use that money for. I am dead serious here. They are simply enabling his habits instead of helping him. He’s going to appear in some way, be embarrassing and then use the money for drugs. It’s not funny anymore. It’s just sad.