Bow down to the… bow down to the geek. FLAVIN!

Here’s proof that we eat up any little bit of news like Funyuns at Matt Hardy’s house or Twizzlers on a road trip from Michigan to Florida: According to TMZ.com (by way of Prowrestling.net), to quote Christian, “Someone got a haaair-cuuut!” In this case, that someone was Triple H, who has sported long hair in various layers, lengths and forms since pretty much the beginning of his career. If you think it’s strange that I’m critiquing and analyzing his hair, consider the old (and supposedly refuted) rumor that Kazarian left WWE’s developmental system because they wanted him to get a haircut since, well, there’s only room for one douche with a ponytail around these parts. (There was the other rumor that Triple H freaked out on Umaga for wearing green and black, since those are DX colors. Man, this guy is a diva.)

WWE is spinning this non-story as another example of Triple H’s likely retirement. I’m spinning it someone buying this greaseball a mirror as an anniversary gift of something. I truly feel like we should make this haircut even more viral and recommend Hunter donate his rat’s nest to Locks of Love. Then again, he’d probably confuse that for Headlock on Hunger, and then no one wins. Except Triple H, he always wins. -Eric