Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 22 Oct. ’18

Rhode Island School of Design Museum. Designed by Jose Rafael Moneo. Picture by vacationsmadeeasy.com

The WWE starts us off with some huge news if I’m to believe our good friend Jeremy. I have stayed away from social media and even the WWE app alerts. I usually check just to know what’s coming but this sounded too good to get the news early. Roman Reigns is out in street clothes. He has leukemia and he has to relinquish the Universal Championship. He thanks the WWE audience for the reactions. He vows to beat it again and come back to the WWE. Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins come out to embrace Reigns. They do one last Shield fist bump. Woof. That. Was. Rough.

Finn Balor is the first out after that news. Good luck to all involved in this segment. Lio Rush comes out to give Bobby Lashley a proper introduction. Rush lures Balor into a running situation so Lashley waits and levels him. Hilarious that Corey Graves notes that the announcers need to talk over Rush during the match because of how much Rush talks. Balor double legs Lashley then double stomps him. Lashley catches Balor and gives him a Samoan Drop. Rush starts to chant “Lashley” which distracts the man himself. Balor rolls him up for the surprise win.

Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre are back stage talking. They make their talking points clear that they’re not going to be a team after tonight. Cool.

Sasha Banks is flanked by Natalya & Bayley. She is taking on Ruby Riott who brings Liv Morgan & Sarah Logan. Banks gets in the early offense. A distraction causes Riott to take over the match. Naturally, there’s a six woman show down. STO by Riott gets a two count. Riott goes for a back slide but Sasha rolls into a running knee lift. Second rope Meteora. Back Stabber into a Bank Statement. Bayley cuts off Logan. Morgan gets the better Natalya. Banks comes out and clocks Logan & Morgan. Riott catches her coming back into the ring. Riott Kick for the win.

We get a video package from The Undertaker and Kane. Isn’t this the same one they played last week? Twitter confirmed with a “Yes” so take that as you will.

Nia Jax is hyping Evolution. She’s ready to win the battle royal on Sunday so that she can get another shot at the Raw Women’s Championship.

HHH & Shawn Michaels come out to Degeneration X’s music. They don’t say much important. I thought the funniest part was how long the crowd took to figure out HHH wanted them to chant “NXT.” Kane & Undertaker get a fresh video to pretend to respond to DX. That doesn’t look like the best CGI. They’re ready to put down HHH & Michaels. This match isn’t doing much for me even if they did pack 70,000 into G Stadium in Australia.

Dana Brooke gets a promo just like Nia Jax. She’s ready to shine in the battle royal.

Paul Heyman is in the ring. He starts off thanking Roman Reigns. He even pivots well into the Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman match at Crown Jewel. The insult that gets Strowman’s attention is the one that said they aren’t the same species. Why are they giving him Roman Reigns talking points? Claymore out of the blue to lay out Strowman. I’m sure that won’t factor into their tag team match later. (Hint: Sarcasm.)

Dolph Ziggler talks up McIntyre. He knows what the consequences of his actions are. He’s not afraid of monsters. Now they can focus on defending the Raw Tag Team Championships. Hilarious. Sure, Drew. Strowman isn’t going to cost you the match or anything tonight.

Elias is ready for Providence. He wants to get straight to his song about Apollo Crews but his music hits and he comes out. Elias is wearing down Crews after the break. Renee Young & Michael Cole picking on Graves about not enjoying Elias’s music might be my favorite new moment of this announce team. Crews fires up and takes down Elias with a clothes line. Standing Shoot Star Press gets a two count. Crews gives him a swinging Samoan Drop. Elias grabs the ropes to block a move. Running Knee on Crews as he recovers. Drift Away for the win.

Kurt Angle gives us a one man run down of World Cup. Angle knows his best days are behind him but he knows he can be great one more day and it’s be at Crown Jewel.

Elias is back out. Baron Corbin comes out and squabbles with Elias. Crbin tells him to get off the stage. Elias instead comes up with a new song. He says that Corbin has Stephanie McMahon’s hand up his ass. Corbin has Elias’s mics killed. Elias walks off then comes back and cracks him with the guitar.

Michael Cole is proceeding over the contract signing between Nikki Bella and Ronda Rousey. Brie Bella came out with her sister. The Bellas scatter from the ring when Rousey. She wants a fight is their reasoning. Rousey promises not to attack them. The Bellas talk about Rousey’s mom not being proud of her. Nikki slaps Rousey. She shakes it off and signs the contract. Rousey then walks to the back and shakes her head in disbelief.

Dean Ambrose says there are no words that can correctly describe their emotions from tonight after their last six years as The Shield. He vows for them to do what they always do, which means win. Rollins carries on with the “No Words” theme. He’s ready to win this one for Reigns.

Ember Moon gets an inset promo as she comes to the ring. She’s in a four way match with Tamina (who didn’t get a promo), Dana Brooke & Nia Jax. Moon wins with an Eclipse for a quick win.

Titus O’Neil gives out championship belts to breast cancer survivors. It’s always awkward to me when I hear things like “breast cancer is unacceptable” like it’s some breakable habit that is plaguing the patient.

Trish Stratus & Lita get an interview so that they can finally. They bring out the best in each other. Alicia Fox crashes the interview because evidently they’re both still not good on the mic. Mickie James attacks after the distraction. James & Fox get the upper hand momentarily only to be left laying.

The main event tag team matches is the main event. Ambrose took a beating mostly during a commercial. Rollins gets the hot tag to clean house. McIntyre pushes Rollins off the top rope. Ziggler only gets two from a Fame Asser. Rollins ends up getting a beat down after that. Enziguri on McIntyre creates an opening. Ziggler throws off the opening. Rollins gets out of the predicament. Ziggler pul;ls Ambrose off the apron. Alabama Swing Slam on Rollins gets two. Rollins is still being beat down when we come back from another commercial. Rollins pulls out the Superplex/Falcon Arrow combo on Ziggler. A series of counters plus McIntyre & Ambrose getting involved in the match leads to Ziggler giving Rollins a Zig Zag. Another two count. Braun Strowman comes out. Rollins accidentally takes out the ref. Strowman attacks McIntyre. They fight through the crowd. Ziggler realizes he’s alone and tries to run away. Ambrose grabs him and throws him back in the ring. Side kick followed by The Stomp for the win. Ambrose had to help the ref into the ring too. As Rollins & Ambrose celebrate, Ambrose pulls away and kicks Rollins in the gut. Dirty Deeds DDT on Rollins. Ambrose then beats the tar out of Rollins. The crowd shots are making this segment for me. Dirty Deeds on the exposed floor caps the action. Ambrose then walks back through the crowd. The WWE seemed to be going with the Shield break up. Surprised they stuck to their guns after the Reigns news. – Kevin DiFrango

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