The Strain Vampires from screenrant.com

I could have started this review earlier but I’ve been sucked into The Strain after my room mate Chinese Kevin told me it got good. I got to skip some bad episodes according to him and Jeremy. Good timing on my part because it’s been fantastic since the episode titled “Creatures of the Night.” Let’s do some wrestling. Let’s roll.

Seth Rollins comes down ranting and raving about what happened to him last week. Smackdown wasn’t the place to address it even though he got screen time. Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury try to talk some sense into him. John Cena tries to get Rollins but he beats a hasty retreat. Rollins backs into Dean Ambrose. He forces Rollins back to ring side. Ambrose takes out Cena & Rollins. Noble & Mercury take out Ambrose. Rollins beats another retreat. HHH & Steph come out to put a kibosh on the shenanigans. Ambrose & Cena get to take on Rollins, Kane & Randy Orton.

The Dust Brothers & Cesaro are taking on The Usos & Dolph Ziggler. Jey Uso gets injured then started the match. His team mates deserve to lose for being stupid. Jimmy gets the tag after Cesaro gets in. Six man mayhem at the break. I like Stardust changing the drop down move to a kick. Jey enziguris Goldust. Ziggler gets the hot tag. Ziggler spins into a sleeper hold. This Brooklyn crowd was offended by the bad Chicago crowd last week. The Usos dive on to the Dust Brothers. Super Uppercut by Cesaro gets saved by an Uso. Ziggler kicks out froma  Cross Rhodes. Triple Super Kick by the baby faces on Star Dust. Jimmy with the splash for the win. All of these guys are fun to watch in the ring. Kathie Lee & Hoda. Need I say more?

If they’re going to make an appearance, doing it with Adam Rose is a good spot. Oh crap, Kathie Lee & Hoda have a set. Even the Brooklyn line isn’t working very well. They drink win. Hoda dances. Kathie Lee breaks a “bottle” on Hoda’s ass. Hoda returns the favor. Why am I still watching this? Kathie Lee balks on the trust fall but Hoda didn’t. They’re scamps. The WWE transitions to a new Wyatt vignette. Or maybe not. Seems pretty similar at a minimum.

Bo Dallas is waiting in the ring for Mark Henry. Dallas bails out of the ring. JBL trying to sell Dallas’s wins over Henry is hysterically terrible. Henry rams Dallas spine first into the post. Dallas slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and crawls back into the ring. Henry gets counted out. JBL, no one is buying your logic. My five year old nephew wouldn’t even buy it.

Dean Ambrose hits the ring. He isn’t happy with John Cena. Dean wants to settle their problems in the ring. John obliges. Cena tells Ambrose that he did the same thing to him earlier in the night. Dean’s ready for a one man war. Cena turns his words on him again. Ambrose says he’s hitting Coney Island. I doubt that will be true.

They show Ambrose getting on the subway. They act like it just happened. There’s no natural light in a subway. No way to sell me on this segment. HHH talks to John Cena about replacing Dean Ambrose. Seth Rollins has to start the match with Cena. Brie Bella has to wrestle one armed against Summer Rae. Brie gets kicked around for a bit. Brie pulls Summer down into Layla El’s head. Brie hits a running knee. Brie wins. Yes! Yes! Yes! The Miz & Damien Mizdow apologizes for the comments he made last week.  Kane is not impressed. Kane puts him in a match with Sheamus. Mizdow takes the fruit basket back. We all laugh.

Jack Swagger has a match against Tyson Kidd. Swagger gets the upper hand early. Kidd uses Natalya as a shield to get the upper hand. I remembered that I had a fantasy hockey draft a bit too late. I think I just snagged one too many goalies. Kidd gets out of a Patriot Lock. Kidd goes to the top rope but Nattie is “in the way.” Swagger throws him off the top rope and locks in the Patriot Lock for the win. Edge & Christian do a segment. It’s pretty solid.

Roman Reigns gave us no new information. Los Matadores come down to the ring for an El Torito match. Hornswoggle has done a fantastic job keeping himself employed. This match has been on TV as much as any other match in recent memory. It won’t be better than any of the other ones. El Torito calms Mini-Gator. “This is stupid.” El Torito misses the moonsault but still gets the win.

Lana & Rusev come out to rebut Big Show’s apology. He’s Bulgarian again for some reason. The Rock is the only person that can make the crowd wake up. The Rock comes out. The crowd goes bananas. They had a different chant for the Gator & The Bull. No kidding. It sucked. I’m wondering how many people are arguing that the Rock should job to Rusev. The Rock holds court with most of his regular lines. Lana gets booed for the first time tonight. The Rock tells them they’re international assholes. Rusev slowly takes off the medal. The Rock still gets in the first shot. He knocks Rusev out of the ring.

Paige & Alicia Fox come to the ring for a tag team match. AJ Lee and is joined by Emma. Are all of the women crazy? 3 psychos and someone who dances entirely too much. AJ starts against Alicia. AJ goes after Paige. Emma gets tagged in. Shoulder block into Fox’s gut. Roll up for a two count. Fox clocks Emma charging. Fox misses a charge. Emmamite Sandwich.Emma doesn’t cover Alicia. AJ leaves ring side. Paige super kicks Emma. Ram-Paige DDT for the win. A truly new segment feature vignette for the Waytts featuring Erick Rowan. They finish with “It’s Coming” on a pregnant belly. Interesting. The Wyatts are getting a re-boot.

I’m not sure why switching opponents for Sheamus (now the Miz) and Ziggler (Cesaro) is going to freshen up either title picture. The crowd is loving Damien Mizdow. Sheamus is pretty much man handling The Miz. Mizdow pulls The Miz away from a Brogue Kick. The Miz gets in the cheap shot. Brogue Kick on Mizdow. The Miz rolls up Sheamus for the win. Joan Lunden is coming on Raw?

Joan Lunden comes out to the ramp. The crowd doesn’t crap on her. She gives a role call of all the survivors who are there. Nice segment.

I’m in the NeNe Leakes demo. I mean, I watch The Strain. Don’t those things go hand in hand? John Cena is set to take on Kane, Randy Orton and Seth Rollins. I expected a tag. It was so obvious that even Michael Cole pointed it out. Kane gets the tag. Orton is the next to work him over. Rollins comes in and gets cocky. It doesn’t cost him yet. Super Cena come back. Five Knuckle Shuffle. Kane kicks Cena in the mouth to cause the DQ. Dean Ambrose comes back with a hot dog wagon. Ambrose uses ketchup & mustard as a distraction. Cena gets back into a five man fight. Ambrose hits a suicide dive on Rollins. Ambrose tongs Rollins package. The heels flee. They fight each other at HIAC. The winner gets to face Seth Rollins in a HIAC. Stephanie didn’t need to deliver that line. Underhook DDT by Ambrose on Cena. As people say Cean doesn’t do enough for young talent. – Kevin