Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – WWE World Title TournamentEdition

The Manchester Civil Justice Building in Manchester, England. Saved from

The Manchester Civil Justice Building in Manchester, England. Saved from

It was kind of weird having HHH hype Seth Rollins as a fallen soldier. I get it because Rollins is all kinds of awesome but it’s still weird when you’ve specifically made him a hate-able, cowardly heel.He invites out Roman Reigns and claims they scouted him for Rollins spot. He wants to give Reigns a spot in finals without entering the tournament. HHH tries to persuade Reigns to join the Authority. Reigns finally gets the mic and tells him to shove his offer. The Big Show comes out. The poor announcers have to forget that Reigns treated Show like a rag doll for the most part.

The match between Show & Reigns starts after a break. If there’s ever a time for Reigns to get the belt, it’s now. I see no one else winning this tournament. Reigns has to sell for Big Show to keep him in Cena mode. Michael Cole finally acknowledges their past feud all the way back in earlier this year. Reigns ends up spearing Big Show after a Superman Punch. Yawn. An “Exclusive” look at the brackets that I saw earlier today.

Kevin Owens comes out and even can figure out a way to talk down to the “smart” crowds in England. That man is a true professional. Titus O’Neil is his opponent. Early break in the action. Even the England crowd is doing the Alpha Bark. O’Neil is even tossing around Owens like a rag doll. Pop Up Power Bomb out of nowhere for the win. Renee Young gets to interview Paige who gets a nice ovation again. Becky Lynch will be her opponent tonight. She’s excited to take out Lynch tonight. She even slips in a cunt reference. Good for her.

I’m going to enjoy this match but I don’t like this being a one off match between Paige & Becky Lynch. It should be a feud. The crowd is still very much behind Paige. She gets to work over Lynch early. They switch Abdominal Stretches. Somewhere in Nashville, Eric Nelson is weeping. Holy crap, for some reason Michael Cole still has to shoe horn in the “Divas Revolution” narrative. The WWE writers have had amnesia about previous story lines but are hanging onto that one like a rabid dog. A RamPaige is gotten out of because Lynch is too close to the ropes. Paige tries to pull the tights but Becky reverses for the win. The announcers have to pretend like doing a submission on the announce table is somehow more impressive. Charlotte breaks up the submission and Paige flees.

Dolph Ziggler is selling the leg injury still as he battles the Miz. Dolph gets trapped in a Figure Four. He breaks with the ropes. Super Kick, also out of nowhere, gets Ziggler the win. He’s the only man who’s sold an injury for more than a week in years for the WWE.

Zeb Colter doesn’t want England in MexAmerica. This angle continues to mystify me. Who thinks this is a good idea? Alberto Del Rio gets to say words that don’t make much sense either. England is a bunch of haters. Train wreck of an angle that’s supposed to be my hook for watching Smackdown.

Natalya beat Tamina on Smackdown which I erased. For some reason, despite the implosion of Team PCB, the announcers have to pretend like it can’t happen to Team BAD. Naomi is wrestling her tonight. Nattie leads the crowd in “We want Sasha” chants. Clever ploy. Natalya rolls up Naomi for the win. Sasha attacks. Natalya fights back. Tamina kicks her in the head. Bank Statement.

Sheamus & King Barrett are still buddy buddy. King Barrett has a feud with Wayne Rooney. I got it now. Cesaro is wrestling Sheamus though. The announcers are openly talking about the hell that Cesaro is in. They even compare him to JBL, which is a pretty accurate comparison. I doubt the WWE pulls the trigger on Cesaro isn’t ever going to happen but I could be wrong. Cesaro takes over after much selling. He goes left handed to save his right arm that’s been worked over. Cesaro gets in a shouting match with Barrett. Sheamus takes advantage. They bark at Rooney. Cesaro comes up with a fancy small package after a distraction slap by Rooney.

Renee Young interviews Tyler Breeze & Summer Rae. They accuse Ambrose of being ugly. This gag still works for me. Dean Ambrose is pacing in the ring. It’s an interesting match to me. It should be a stomping by Ambrose but Ziggler is waiting for the winner. Breeze has been in a feud with Ziggler. Despite a distraction, Ambrose clocks Breeze and nails a suicide dive. Breeze takes over and the announcers do something useful, get over Breeze’s nasty side. Breeze tries to get an aided pin but fails. Ambrose nails a top rope drop kick but injures his shoulder. Breeze tosses him into a few posts. A shoulder breaker by Breeze gets him two. Ambrose back drops Breeze out of the ring. Ambrose with a small package for the win. So Ziggler will be selling the leg while Dean sells the arm? I could see Ambrose winning the tournament but I’m not betting on it either.

New Day has reached the status where I just sit back and don’t type anything to simply enjoy an act that is just destroying each night they come out. They try to get boos from the crowd but they just cheer, especially Cena. Neville & The Usos are going against them. Neville ends up getting the hot tag against Xavier Woods. Uso Crazy dive. Neville hits everyone with a ridiculous flip. Woods recovers after a distraction of finishers outside. Neville goes back up. Big E shakes him off the ropes. Woods pins him for the win. For a little salt in the wound, he used the ropes.

Bray Wyatt preaches about change and how it is inevitable. You need to be able to adapt. Wyatt acts scared when lightning strikes. The gong goes off. The Undertaker & Kane show back up. They saunter down to the ring like they normally do. They corner Wyatt when the lights go out. The rest of the Family pops up. Kane & Taker fight off Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. Braun Strowman comes in. Double choke slam on Harper & Rowan. Strowman clothes lines them and celebrates. Kane & Taker recover and dispatch of him over the announce table. Bray Wyatt gets double choke slammed in the ring. Fun ending. – Kevin

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