They're not paying him to listen, they're paying him to talk!

And to show how much more people care about that lying, stinking, rotten Hulk Hogan than they do the pious, sinless, holier-than-thou, do-no-wrong, follow-my-Destrucity first-stone-caster Ultimate Warrior, according to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan has signed with The Agency Group to produce a new stage show called “In Conversation: Outside the Ring with Hulk Hogan.” Hogan and some of his friends, lackeys and mules like Greg Valentine, Brian Knobbs and Brutus Beefcake (in that order?) have gone on mini-tours and one-offs in 2010 under the name “Hulk Hogan and Friends,” appearing at small theaters to take questions from audience members, clips from which have popped up on YouTube. Dot Net says this new tour will feature:

“about an hour of semi-scripted stories and behind-the-scenes stuff, synced up with video and pictures, stuff that he wants to share with his fans and will be exciting for them to hear from him — personal stories, stories about matches and his career.”

This sounds interesting to some extent, and believe it or not, I would go to this if it came to Des Moines. But probably not West Des Moines. Hogan has lived 10 lives in the wrestling business and has done and experienced more backstage and in front of audiences than John Cena can ever wish upon his jean shorts for, potentially making for a fun hour of performance. Ultimate Warrior, on the other hand, is a coattail-riding piece of shit who had one match with Orlando Jordan in 2008 that translated into nothing at all, yet he has the gall to say Hogan, who still makes lots of money to this day, turns everything into shit. So I’m sure this Hogan news will send Warrior spiraling further into the filthy depths of social media (and will probably have Jake Roberts wondering if anyone will trade him an hour’s worth of stories for an eight-ball). -Eric