Batista slips beef oboe into Kelly Kelly’s ham wallet

God, shes so immature... ooh, is that pink frosting??!!

"God, she's so immature... ooh, is that pink frosting??!!"

Is that headline appropriate? Who cares. Thanks to SG visitor Fanatic for unsheathing this one: Over on, Jason Powell posted part of an interview Batista did on a morning show for WJFK (god, so many easy “head” and “blown” jokes in this one) this past Monday. And guess what? My sweetheart Kelly Kelly was gettin’ the ol’ turkey fiddle from Buttista recently…

“She’s just a young girl,” he said. “She was a little immature for a 21 year-old.” He cited their age difference as the reason the relationship didn’t last.

Who cares if she’s a little immature? Jesus christ, Dave, you’ve got the hottest hatchet wound on the roster riding the ol’ imitation crab meat bassoon, and you’re bitching because a 21-year-old is immature? Of course she is! She’s probably a fucking basket case! I go to the biggest Big Ten party school there is, and that’s all we have here: a bunch of Kelly Kelly carbon copy airheads. So the fuck what? Is it because you’re getting Andrew Martin’s sloppies? Get over it. You kinda are, anyway; you basically took Test’s spot in 2003, and now you’re riding through his female turnstile. And does this mean Lilian Garcia is no longer the company dartboard? There go all of my jokes. *tosses index cards into the air* -Eric

8 Responses to “Batista slips beef oboe into Kelly Kelly’s ham wallet”

  1. Fanatic 2008-12-02 at 1:59 pm #

    Give it up for Eric Nelson, he’ll be here all week.

    I hope steroids and growth hormones are non-transferable or Kelly Kelly might be growing a beard and sporting bacne by the time she’s a mature 25 year old.

  2. Kirk 2008-12-02 at 6:13 pm #

    Oh Batista, is there nowhere that ‘Hillshire arm’ has not flexed itself?

  3. Hawkeyemaniac 2008-12-03 at 6:28 pm #

    As a proud graduate of the University of Iowa, I can second what Eric said. Most of said girls are from the Chicago burbs and have money. Even if you have no game whatsoever, you can still get your share as they will come to you if you are halfway decent looking. At least that was my experience.

  4. stuntgranny 2008-12-03 at 9:23 pm #

    And, of course, I have no game.

  5. Kirk 2008-12-04 at 2:42 pm #

    Its the broke girls that are looking to elevate their status that want guys to game them.

    So If igure what Batista might mean by “Immature” is this: (1)Batista is like 45, his roided up body had trouble sustaining an erection, and he probably has to perform rest holds during sex + (2) Kelly had no idea WTF was the matter with him, she doesn’t have the greatest technique when it comes to getting troubled wood up (I mean, have you seen her ‘dance’?) AND Test was probably not running marathons with her = “She’s immature”.

  6. mahsa 2008-12-18 at 6:29 pm #

    batista is a mature man,he is really perfect man,and he is looking for a good & mature girl,not a bitch & slut DIVA ,like kelly kelly.exactly because of that batista can’t countinue relationship.I HATE BITCH DIVAS…

    • Savannah 2009-11-26 at 7:11 am #

      Shut up dumbass your so “Mature” huh?

      • stuntgranny 2009-11-27 at 8:54 pm #

        O SNAP!

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