After a week’s time away Stunt Granny Audio is back and Kevin and Jeremy bring some noise. They fellas decide it’s high time they throw out some TNA love as they discuss the possible partnership of Taz and Samoa Joe. They also discuss the elevation, or was it, of MVP on Raw. There’s also a side discussion of the John Cena/Batista/Big Show dynamic that is sure to capture the imagination. If not, well, you got to hear it anyway. So give it a listen.
Oh baby, after a little hiatus, Dusty and Eric are back with another Stunt Granny Audio. Dusty opens the discussion by bitching about Ch*rter Communications (edited to avoid being found out and sued for slander), and then the two bitch about wrestling-related things. What the hell will WWE do with Lance Hoyt? For that matter, what the hell will they do with Matt Hardy when he comes back? They offer up the obvious and obligatory but memorable, um, memories of the late “Playboy” Buddy Rose, they wonder exactly how high Bryan Danielsen and Paul London were in their wacky PWG promo, they discuss the new team of the Hard Knox Connection, and also talk a little bit about the NFL Draft before signing off. So listen! (Shoot, as usual, I forgot all the ID tags on this MP3. Hopefully you’re willing to add them yourselves until I remember to do it on a regular basis.)
According to this story from TMZ by way of Prowrestling.net, Linda Bollea is filing with the Pinellas County Court that she needs $24,000 for “advanced rent and securities” and an additional $8200 a month so that she can move away from the leathery mouthed, OJ Simpson sympathizing, Hulk Hogan aka Terry Bollea. I have no idea how much money she’s getting already because I’m too lazy to punch it up on Google. This total seems pretty ridiculous itself to a guy who gets by quite comfortably on far less money a month.
Linda wants to move to move to California because she feels like she’s “in imminent danger.” When Linda moves out there, she needs to learn how to live off campus like her 19 year old boy toy. I’m sure he knows how to cook ramen noodles in a coffee pot and eat week old pizza. Hell, I’m sure he can even hook Linda up with a cheap kegger (and tell her it’s the champagne of beers to make it sound expensive) so that she can cougarize USC’s campus. Good luck being another haggard wanna-be rich cougar in Cali Linda, your money is going to run out before Ric Flair’s which is an impressive feat. - Kevin
They started off the second part of their second season with some of the worst audio difficulties I’ve heard. The music was too loud and drowned out the announcers who were too quiet. They seem to have too many toys to play with this season instead of focusing on keeping things simple.
N8 Mattson and Benjamin Boone came to the ring. Mattson grabbed the mic and told Boone that the crowd doesn’t appreciate him. Mattson promised to take Boone to the top of the PWO. Bobby Beverly and Hobo Joe were their opponents. Beverly took it to Mattson who left with an apparent ankle injury. For whatever reason, the referee didn’t count him out and allowed the match to continue as a handicapped match. Boone took control of the match when Hobo Joe was tagged in. After a beat down on Joe, Beverly eventually got a hot tag but tug back out quickly. Hobo Joe missed a middle rope leg drop. Joe rolled out of the ring to talk to Aaron Maguire, who apparently needed money. Boone speared Beverly for the three count while Joe was still outside the ring.
Analysis: You can’t pin the guy that isn’t legal! That was piss poor booking. Beverly could have missed the same move and then not had anyone to tag because of the distraction. That is a simple solution to not look terrible.
What shitty timing for Matt Hardy. Again, from Prowrestling.net , Matt Hardy broke his hand during his “I” Quit match with Jeff Hardy last night at Backlash. This is the worst possible time for Matt to be out with an injury. He is clearly on the biggest push of his career and he has to go and hurt himself. Yeah I am blaming him directly instead of Jeff because that’ how we roll here.
Supposedly he’ll be out a month but it just doesn’t sound like a broken hand should keep you out anything less than three months. Maybe they can pull the obligatory Cowboy Bob reference and have him wrestle with a broken arm for the rest of his career. You know, I want to make a funny about this but this really does pretty much suck. WWE finally had the opportunity to make a new main event star near immediately and it has blown up in their face for now. Maybe, just maybe it works out but you know will be plenty of dissenting voices saying “fuck Matt Hardy” and it’ll be right back down the ladder. -Jeremy
Hell yes. You know when life gets you down it’s also bound to come around and make you happy again; right? Well, it’s happened. According to ProWrestling.net, Lance Hoyt is WE bound. I cannot express the inner turmoil of mine that has finally been laid to rest. It has been too long since WWE introduced a big man with no discernible talent and forced him down our throats. Now, no my friends this long nightmare is over. Lance Hoyt is WWE bound. God damnit Hoyt is WWE bound.
Yeah, this was really only a matter of time. Hoyt is a tall guy with some muscles. (Say it like Popeye for comedic effect.) There actually may be something there for WWE to work with but this is definitely “don’t hold your breath” territory. It’s more than likely he’ll be cast in the Diesel role and from there go the route of Mr. Hughes; minus the kickass sunglasses and gloves. -Jeremy
It just keeps getting funnier and funnier. Well, it would be if it wasn’t so sad. TNA, according to Prowrestling.net, is planning on having their Slammiversary PPV in Michigan. Ok, so that’s not too bad and not at all funny. Michigan needs the revenue that events like this are supposed to generate so anything that helps the home state is welcome. Here’s the problem; the fucking tards that run TNA are going to have it at The Palace of Auburn Hills.
Just to let you know, the palace is home to the Detroit Pistons. It used to be home to The Shock but who gives a fuck about women’s basketball anyway so they bolted for somewhere else never to be heard of again. This is also the arena that Jay Leno performed his free shows for the people of Michigan. It’s primo facility for events. It holds concerts and tractor pulls and all other manner of entertainment. So it seems logical that a wrestling event should be held there.
Well, not if you are TNA. Their last venture to the state of Michigan on PPV did not sell out and it was in an arena one-third the size of The Palace. Inevitably the event is going to sell 4,000 seats and I am being generous to give it that much. TNA charges a ridiculous amount for their PPV’s as it is so the idea of running it in an environment , ah shit , a state that is in total decline in every manner is hilarious. I am laughing while crying at this entire scenario.
Now sure, in poor economic times sporting event attendance in Michigan always increases. It’s an escape for people but also the ticket price correlates with the environment. (Unless you are the Red Wings of course; GO WINGS!) TNA may actually think they can use this to their advantage but that requires forethought that no one has ever displayed in that company. Instead they probably figured they would run a big arena and fill it. All with people who actually bought tickets instead of the usually heavy papered crowds they have in large arenas.
It’s is just going to look like garbage on TV. The entire top sections will be tarped off or the lights will turn off and the sound will be cavernous. My god it’s embarrassing for the same company to routinely make the same mistakes over and over and over and over and over but they still do it. How can this even be possible?
Of course there is a possible marketing ploy behind all of this that would get TNA some major pub but I am keeping it to myself. Fuck em. It’s not my job to give them ideas.
So, whatever; Slammiversary is in Auburn Hills . Buy tickets or don’t. Who gives a shit? -Jeremy
In the Tweet heard ’round the ‘net or just in Ashley Massaro’s tiny brain and audience, including to our source Prowrestling.net, we were supposed to know that she was going to return to the WWE by Summerslam. From her Myspace page -
“Now, as much as I’d love to say that it is true, it’s not. Because it ain’t me, folks. Like i’ve said I have no other [accounts] like that! I’m currently working on something that you will be able to view very shortly but I’m under contract and can not return to WWE just yet. So, hopefully it won’t be long. Last time I spoke with Johnny Ace [WWE vice president John Laurinaitis] he said to come down to a taping so I’m gonna do that asap.”
Her grammar skills wouldn’t get her a passing grade in her imaginary child’s first grade class. Hot damn. Anyway, thankfully we’re spared of having to see this twig with ginormous fake knockers for at least the foreseeable future. She’s tied up in something that she can’t talk about because Ashley is probably still trying to cut ties with her clients from the escort service. - Kevin
Melina, according to this story on Prowrestling.net, is complaining about being shipped to Smackdown! because of the draft. Evidently she’s the only person in the arena that missed the deafening silence of the live crowd during her title reign on Raw. Look you dumb horse mouthed nothing, the WWE doesn’t care about the women’s division now that they can’t exploit your assets properly because of their stupid ass PG rating.
The WWE is doing you a favor by sending you to a show that has been building up a good babyface in Gail Kim. You’re terrible at being one. If the WWE has half a brain, they’ll turn you back heel which suits your bitchy backstage personality and let you feud with Kim and you’ll actually have a career instead of playing third fiddle to Mickie James and Beth Phoenix on Raw. - Kevin
OK, I’m going to be honest with you, we didn’t cover the first MySpace blog of Larry Sweeney because we have met the guy, interviewed him and he seemed like a pretty fucking cool dude. Even when I accidentally made a pass at him he brushed it off and continued the interview. Sure it’s unprofessional on our part but then I am no professional. So I’ll shoulder the blame.
Anyway, this last MySpace blog is both hilarious and sad. Who knows if it is a shoot or not but it is worth the read. Apparently he has quit ROH after months of abuse. He then goes on to compare his situation to Jesus being tempted for less time by the devil, which I find incredibly not offensive.
Then he goes really Looney Tunes and tells people to send him money at paypal and then states he is opening wrestling dojos in of all places Wyoming. I don’t know where Wyoming is if you showed me on a map. I figure it rests between Seattle and San Diego somewhere in California. If not, well who gives a shit, it’s Wyoming. Do people even live there? -Jeremy