Attention Whore Update Part II

I know you missed me like my team on Survivor.

I know you missed me like my team on Survivor.

In the Tweet heard ’round the ‘net or just in Ashley Massaro’s tiny brain and audience, including to our source Prowrestling.net, we were supposed to know that she was going to return to the WWE by Summerslam.  From her Myspace page

“Now, as much as I’d love to say that it is true, it’s not. Because it ain’t me, folks. Like i’ve said I have no other [accounts] like that! I’m currently working on something that you will be able to view very shortly but I’m under contract and can not return to WWE just yet. So, hopefully it won’t be long. Last time I spoke with Johnny Ace [WWE vice president John Laurinaitis] he said to come down to a taping so I’m gonna do that asap.”

Her grammar skills wouldn’t get her a passing grade in her imaginary child’s first grade class. Hot damn. Anyway, thankfully we’re spared of having to see this twig with ginormous fake knockers for at least the foreseeable future. She’s tied up in something that she can’t talk about because Ashley is probably still trying to cut ties with her clients from the escort service. – Kevin

5 Responses to “Attention Whore Update Part II”

  1. Avatar
    Fanatic April 23, 2009 at 7:55 pm #

    Big Kev is bringing the news with some witty harshness. Hot damn, I knew you were more than just indy show reviews and a fashion-afficionato.

    Anyone figured out how you can go on Survivor and actually lose more weight after you’re voted off? They must have vicious tape worms in those 3 world countries.

  2. stuntgranny
    stuntgranny April 23, 2009 at 10:20 pm #

    Agreed, Kev bringing the hatred both here and in the “horse mouthed” post. Ba da da da daaaa, I’m lovin’ it.

  3. Avatar
    Bender April 23, 2009 at 10:33 pm #

    How can her big announcement be anything other than a third rate porno? I’m putting all my money on third rate porn, but she’ll claim it’s a revolutionary porn that cares more about production values, acting and storylines.

    • stuntgranny
      stuntgranny April 24, 2009 at 10:20 am #

      You know, I didn’t even put any thought into what her announcement could be because frankly, it’s probably as made up as her child. Thanks for all of the compliments. I’m learning from the best and trying to improve my writing. Although more indy show reviews are on the way for 3 people to read! – K

  4. Avatar
    Fanatic April 24, 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    3rd rate porn, haha.

    “Hey guys, been watching sum great new undiscovered pornos. Ron Jeremy, Traci LOrds, Jenna Jameson. Never heard of them? check um out.” – Ash

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