#ROH Is The Worst Part VII

Posted on May 22, 2013 by stuntgranny
arnold-schwarzenegger-intense

From upfitness.com

It absolutely drives me batty that Ring of Honor feels the need to push Roderick Strong as being in fantastic shape. When I punched fantastic shape into Google, that image above was the first one. Arnold may have been doing some stuff to his body to enhance it, but he was clearly doing some work to look that way. Over the course of the past year plus of watching ROH, Strong has been consistently defended by whatever announcer happened to behind the desk. Kevin Kelly leads the charge. In this episode, Nigel McGuinness touted his strength and endurance. I’ve changed to doing core and endurance training over the past five years. I have had a much easier time losing my stomach because of it. Which brings us back to Strong. Is he fat? Not even close but the guy has a bit of a gut. If he is in such fantastic shape, why does he have no muscle tone and a baby gut? It’s all to cover up for the fact that Roderick is clearly done being in shape. I Googled pictures of him and he had plenty of muscle tone in the past.

Roderick Strong is in an organization that reveres him or at least it seems that way with all of the announcers slobbering all over him. But they don’t see him suited to do anything. He’s not had his teeth sunk into a good story line in the same period of me watching. Sure, him and Michael Elgin temporarily feuded when the House of Truth broke up but they didn’t put much gusto behind it. I’d make an argument that Truth Martini’s break down got about as much attention. Which leads me to say, maybe I don’t blame Roderick for mailing it in and keeping his mediocre slot. ROH is the worst for turning their own celebrated wrestler into his own personal Ground Hog’s Day. -Kevin

Edit: After talking to my Prime Wrestling partner in crime Dan Kuester on ye olde Twitter, I realized I had forgotten an aspect of this hyping. Dan said “They aren’t going to say “Strong is kinda plain looking!” I don’t expect an announcer to undersell any of their wrestlers. The announcers do it so much though, I feel like they’re compensating for Strong’s lack of physique. If you mentioned it during one of his matches, fine. But they mention it multiple times in matches, this week included. Kevin Kelly & Nigel made comments before the commercial break then Nigel revisited the topic after the break. It’s too much. Knock it off or make Strong actually train. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

#ROH Is The Worst Part VI

Posted on May 9, 2013 by stuntgranny
rick_silva_recap

I’m digging this picture from ricksilva.net

This week’s criminal act involves the recently interviewed Veda Scott, who not only wrestles in several independent leagues but also does interviews for Ring Of Honor. Recently at an iPPV Scott was interviewing Ms. Chif. She was upset that she didn’t win a multi participant match for a chance at something. I didn’t pay attention. I don’t feel like rewinding because it doesn’t matter to this crime. Ms. Chif out of her anger spit mist into Scott’s eyes. ROH did the right thing and held Scott off of television for a couple of weeks to see the injury. This week’s show was supposed to air before the pay per view (which only taped on Sunday for me this week meaning that it aired after the iPPV debuted. That’s a whole column similar to last week’s.) so it’d make sense if they decided to add a women’s match. They don’t have enough of a women’s division to have it be a weekly feature so they start this angle at the last iPPV then have a recap on TV a couple of weeks ago and then have this week’s confrontation. Ms. Chif came out for a scheduled match and started it but then Veda Scott showed up seething. Scott then attacked Ms. Chif. They had to be pulled apart. Kevin Kelly and Prince Nana do their job and sell the change in demeanor since she had been playing a meek reporter. Scott charges a second time. They get pulled apart again. Just then Kevin Kelly says “We HAVE to go to commercial now” so that we can do the iPPV center recap. (Emphasis obviously mine.) I’ve got no problem with Kelly on this one. He’s just doing his job. If he’s a producer, he’s culpable. There is no reason you should be cutting to commercial when Scott breaks away a third time to attack Ms. Chif. You’re trying to sell a change in personality and (I’m assuming) a match at some point between the two even if it wasn’t for Border Wars. You can’t go to commercial when this is happening. You can find thirty extra seconds if you even need that much extra. Ten probably would have done the trick. ROH is the worst. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

#ROH Is The Worst Part V

Posted on May 8, 2013 by stuntgranny

washrinsepweb

There will be a lot of wash, rinse and repeat cycles for Ring of Honor. This topic will hopefully not be repeated. I thought about destroying Davey Richards & referee Paul Turner for what happened at the Border Wars iPPV. Davey Richards botched a double stomp on a returning Paul London. Wrestlers do have things go wrong no matter how good they are in the ring so I’ll give Richards an easy pass. From reading Chris Shore’s report on Prowrestling.net (because I’m not giving ROH money for an iPPV that is almost sure to fuck up), he noticed that London was dazed almost immediately. There was a fairly lengthy delay then Richards & London went with what is assumed to be the planned final of London getting caught with Richards’s knees when attempting a shooting star press. Shore called this stupid which at first I agreed with.

Then I reconsidered because of my own concussion. I was back pedaling for a fly ball in softball and whacked my head. A friend asked me “How many fingers am I holding up?” as he flipped me off. I said “One, asshole” and kept playing. It’s the last thing I remember even though I was involved in the final two outs of the season. According to others, I threw someone out at home and caught a fly ball to wrap up the game. It wasn’t until I came back to my folding chair that everyone noticed I wasn’t fine. I started asking frequently if I had fallen asleep in my chair. At that point, my then wife decided that I needed to be taken to the hospital. I wasn’t in the ring so maybe Richards & Turner talked to him, London responded and they moved on. I’d love to kill them but I can’t.

ROH later found that Paul London did in fact have a concussion from the incident and that all involved proceeded with the planned finish. Chris Shore was even more upset. I understand but it’s hard to know how London reacted unless you were in the ring. These guys are wired to be tough guys also so they do stupid things sometimes putting themselves in trouble. They should be more careful in the future. Now it’s time to watch this week’s show. Let’s see if I can get a second article out of them this week. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

#ROH Is The Worst Part IV

Posted on May 1, 2013 by stuntgranny

Facial2

This article was written before I ever set my eyes on this week’s product. I only used to get the Sunday night airing of this show. On that time slot, it gets bumped five minutes late because of Two and a Half Men reruns. Ever since my cable company got the Saturday airings, my DVR has taped both of them. Because the Saturday edition starts on time, I automatically erase the Sunday edition when I’m eating my breakfast Monday morning. I did that this week again. Much to my surprise, a Murad facial treatment infomercial was on ROH’s time slot. To make matters worse, when ROH does start at the sixteen minute mark they start the proceedings in progress which means Fox knows they’re shortening ROH. I’m not saying they suck. Fox is saying that a Murad Facial Treatment Infomercial is more important than Ring of Honor. Easiest article ever to write. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

ROH Is The Worst Part III

Posted on April 26, 2013 by stuntgranny

dollar-gasp

This week’s offense is brought to you by Kevin Kelly. The truth is, I feel like I could write this column every week I watch this show. Kevin Steen came out to repent. Steve Corino came out almost immediately. They start to reveal an angle which also is a reason why I think Kelly is terrible. The past couple of months Kevin Steen has been noticeably absent from any SCUM related activities. Kelly has all but ignored this significant piece of information. I will say that at some point he did note it but not nearly enough to say the words “And what a championship reign he had!” as Kevin Steen denounced the current state of SCUM. Kevin Kelly has hated Kevin Steen for the past year and four months. How can this man take Steen at his word? Steen didn’t exactly hold SCUM back from their underhanded tactics. Shouldn’t you need a little more proof that Steen has changed his ways? If he isn’t skeptical, Kelly needs to say that he has been wrong for the past how ever long Steen has been evil. It seemed like Evil Steen had happened right before I started watching, which is the a fore mentioned time frame. You can’t flip a switch like that as the voice of a company.

Steve Corino is now angling to take a seat beside Kevin Kelly. I think he’s a good talker. I’d like to have him calling out Kevin Kelly. But the problem is that Steve Corino is still trying to wreck Ring of Honor. His platform is terrible. You can’t wreck a program that is the worst already. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies has finally happened

Posted on April 24, 2013 by stuntgranny

Far be it from me to disparage people making a living but god damn I wish wrestlers would save their god damn money. How else do you explain “Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies”? The movie comes to us from writer and director Cody Knotts. He of such other low budget fare “Breeding Farm” and “Lucifer’s Unholy Desire.”   I just don’t understand when you take a meeting for a low budget movie what pitch these guys heard.

“Alright we have this cool premise guys. We mix the world of zombies and pro wrestling. It is going to be just as good as Zombie Strippers I promise. We have a budget of about $370.00 and a boatload of unfulfilled favors to cash in. The shoot will be magic. We have a shooting schedule of about three days so scheduling will be over a holiday weekend. Believe in me when I Say this will get you in to Hollywood that much faster. Well in your case Mr. Piper I should say back in Hollywood. I mean god damn “They Live” was fucking beautiful.  Now just imagine they alley fight scene but with zombies in a prison with all natural lighting and heavy metal music. How awesome right?  Sure it is an exact rip off of The Walking Dead season but the genre is ripe for some creative borrowing. Hell, The Walking Dead is a mashup of a bunch of other zombie movies. So ya with me? You ready to be a star? ”

So it may not have gone just like that but really could it be that much far off? Who needs the work this badly? Judging the entire movie from the trailer, which is the purpose of a trailer so you know, this looks terrible. Shane Douglas actually is kind of funny because he essentially is playing “The Franchise.” Other than that one item this really looks terrible. Kurt Angle continues his stellar acting gigs but there is no chance of improving over “Buffo The Scary Clown“. No really, this clip is genius.  But the acting is not going to be the worst part of this movie.

Was this flick shot with a flashlight and ketchup bottles? Sure the atmosphere appears to be the inside of a prison and if this isn’t a Kubrick experiment using only natural light then boy is this going to be hard to watch. Literally, this is going to be impossible to tell what the hell is happening.  If you can’t see the action then nothing else matters. Wait I get it now this movie is supposed to be some French Existential film on the absurdity of the zombie genre?

It has occurred to me that maybe I am just being a total dick right now. After watching the trailer for the tenth time this could be a fun movie. So let’s cut the jokes and do some actual commentary.

There are some legitimate issues with the trailer. The music is terrible and far too loud. It covers up too much of the dialogue and doesn’t enhance the action. It isn’t a matter of personal music tastes at all but the screeching 80’s metal god voice is not good for the small amount of time given. Just straight music with no lyrics would have been a better choice.  The lighting of the film, from what was presented, is a big problem. Scenes are just too dark. The shadowing makes it difficult to see the action. I am not sure how this can or even will be addressed in post production but it needs some attention. The acting is about what you should expect from a low budget horror flick starring professional wrestlers not named Dwayne Johnson so that gets a pass.

Guess there is not much else to be said until the final product is released. Make sure and stop back on Stunt Granny as it will be reviewed. (Take that as a request  for a screener copy) -Jeremy

Filed under: TNA News, ROH News, Jeremy's Blog, Movies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

#ROH Is The Worst Part II

Posted on April 17, 2013 by stuntgranny

Leg-fractureROH is the worst. This week’s offense was the entire set up around the Eddie Edwards vs. Bobby Fish. The main part of the match that raised my ire was when Edwards hit a moonsault to the outside onto Fish. Edwards overshoot Fish a little bit and whacked his shin of the guard rail pretty well. Kevin Kelly then starts to sell the injury as a game changing part of the match. That part makes sense even if I thought it was overboard for him to sell it as possibly broken. The real offense came with both men recovering on the outside. There is plenty of time being spent on the outside with Kelly selling it so this is a great time for a replay, right? Well my good friends, ROH didn’t think that was a good plan.

Just to make sure that this segment sucked even more, ROH felt the need to put Davey Richards on commentary because Caleb Whateverhislastnameis was injured at the iPPV that got cut off. I hope everyone got to see that part because he’s awful at his job. He makes me sound like Joe Rogan. Back to Richards. He’s even worse behind the head set. He’s wooden if I’m being generous. Richards makes me sound like Pat Summerall.

They wanted to make sure they hit a trifecta of problems in this one segment. Eddie Edwards was the perpetrator but it’s more of an ROH style of wrestling problem. He sold the shin injury for about a minute after he got back into the ring. Injuries are part of wrestling or real combat sports. Please start selling more in your organization. Edwards was even confident enough to try and finish Fish off with a double stomp. That’s when he baby sold the injury from earlier. Fish gets him in a jack knife cover for the win. Davey Richards puts the cherry on the sundae by dead panning “That was a pretty clean win. Not much I can say about that one.” ROH is the worst. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

#ROH Is The Worst Part I

Posted on April 11, 2013 by stuntgranny

terribletwos

Ring of Honor deserves to be covered by no wrestling websites, even our dumpy little space. But I can’t resist bashing these morons. I had a good chuckle to myself that the last show I watched them on Tuesday and the announcers were talking like the show aired before their pay per view. I suppose if I had no life and watched at 5 PM on a Saturday I could have viewed it before the iPPV. That’s why I had to write this article though. The only non Raw crowd related article that grabbed my attention on Prowrestling.Net was that ROH’s iPPV feed crapping out, again. I don’t know why they deserve a spot on a syndicated show even if they’re in terrible time slots like 5 PM on  Saturday and Monday morning at 12:05 AM because reruns of Two and a Half Men always run over. The crapped out feed shows why I will not be attending their show that they will have here in Columbus. TNA has at least progressed far enough along that I would probably go to their show if the price is reasonable. I will most definitely be going to Raw that is at Nationwide Arena especially now that I renewed my PSL. Just recently, I ordered an iPPV from Prime Wrestling. A much smaller company than ROH. I had absolutely no problems with their feed. I even went back to watch it several times with no problems.

I am considering quitting watching their program because I watch too much TV anyway. But part of me wants to continue to rip off Jeremy’s old idea of “What TNA Did Right This Week”. Except, I’m going to take one moment from each show and illustrate why ROH is the worst. If I entertain myself and hopefully you, I’ll continue to watch this dog shit. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Stunt Granny Audio Show #212

Posted on January 2, 2013 by stuntgranny

globulus

You ever wonder what a year in review show sounds like when the year sucked badly? Is this the worst year ever for wrestling? What does the NFL have to do with it anyway? Why the hell do you fire a coach that goes 10-6 in the regular season? Does the head coach of a team really even matter? Was WrestleMania 11 the worst ever or has it been replaced by this years tepid effort? What the hell was that Christmas edition of RAW? Do children even find that moronic crap entertaining? There is more, oh boy there is more so download and check it out.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #212

Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, Prime Wrestling, ROH News, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Art of Wrestling: ROH Newswire

Posted on November 9, 2012 by stuntgranny

Eric sent me the ROH Newswire email that he gets and asked whether I’d review these shirts. That’s like the wife asking Eric to stay off Stunt Granny. Or Jeremy being told to watch the latest freak show on TLC. Or Dusty being told Jim Cornette was signing autographs in Fond-du-Lac for free. Of course I’ll do it.

I love the advertisement in the middle of this add which screams “We’re high quality” by announcing that their shirts are only $10 this weekend. In comparison, you need to look at the prices at TNA (A majority of shirts are $19,99 with a high of $24.99) and the WWE (A majority of shirts are $24.99 with a high of $30.99). I’m not going to buy t-shirts from all three companies to compare their quality. I do feel like TNA & the WWE could bring their price down but I’m sure their shirts are of better quality than those from ROH. They could have put a nice spin on it by saying it’s a special for their ten year anniversary all year long.

The next part of this advertisement that bellows “We’re high quality” is by advertising their biggest stars which naturally means they’ve got two ROH shirts that are more generic than anything TNA or the WWE produces. The least they could do is add a hand shake silhouette in the background or even use a modified medal of honor. I don’t quite understand the logo either. The lengthened O underlines the other letters but it doesn’t really do much for the design. It adds flags to the top of R and H but not to the bottom so they didn’t keep the theme going. The O is also another spot that they could use the medal of honor.

The US Medal of Honor

To move on with the star content, they decided that Roderick Strong, The World’s Greatest Tag Team, Jay Lethal and Eddie Edwards should represent them. The only shirt with anyone’s name is Camp Strong which is just a tad ironic. One of my favorite moments on #WatchROH recently is when Nigel McGuinness explained that Strong concentrates on cardio conditioning. Why does the guy have a gut then at 180? Camp Strong needs a new head trainer. The barbell has beers on the end of it to make it a hilarious shirt. Oh, that isn’t funny?  Austin pulled off the beer drinking gimmick. James Storm pulls off the beer drinking gimmick. A little imp can’t pull it off.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas have the most boring shirt of them all. Black shirt with grey print and a script below it explaining the acronym. They should have used white to help make the contrast more bold but even that wouldn’t have saved this boring shirt. Jay Lethal and Eddie Edwards shirts are better with the contrasts but the designs are left lacking too. One could argue that the Lethal Injection looks like a syringe but I think they could go more in that direction to make it look more realistic. Instead, it’s a lazy lined fade pattern. WGTT & Lethal’s shirts have something in common that Edwards’s shirt doesn’t, the first two are centered and symmetrical, while Edwards has a lop sided design. As I’ve noted previous Art of Wrestling columns, lop sided is not necessarily bad. In this case though, there’s nothing to offset the design in the lower right hand side of the shirt so it’s bad.

The one last thing I will note about all of these shirts is that none of them are Ring of Honor’s champions. Not the ROH World Champion Kevin Steen. Not the TV Champion Adam Cole. Not their Tag Team Champions in Steve Corino & Jimmy Jacobs. The later two don’t even have a shirt so no link. The first two aren’t any better in quality but they should be pushed more because they’re the top names in the company. ROH is a third rate company. Their t shirts only help to prove it even more than their TV product. -Kevin

Filed under: Kevin's Blog, ROH News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Next Page »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 242 other followers

%d bloggers like this: