Ronnie from MTV “Jersey Shore” coming to TNA

Ronnie Jersey Shore

Douche chills...

According to PWTorch.com (if you can see it under the huge headline “ROODE AWAKENING?” which should have been followed by :-o  Ronnie from MTV’s hit TV show “Jersey Shore” is coming to TNA. For those of you who, unlike me, don’t watch the show, Ronnie is what they call a “douchebag” because he breaks up with his skeezy girlfriend on a monthly basis, and a “gorilla” because he’s all tanned and spiked like the rest of these guidos but he also lifts heavy in the gym and has an unnatural body size for someone who lives in New Jersey, which means you should be skinny from dodging from stray bullets.

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro gets in the ring with TNA’s IMPACT WRESTLING on SpikeTV! Star of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” makes his wrestling debut on Thursday, November 3.

Yes, you read that right, his “wrestling debut.” Wow. OK, rather than outright make fun of this decision by TNA, let me take a different approach and list the top six reasons why Ronnie from MTV’s “Jersey Shore” is coming to TNA Impact Wrestling:

6) TNA thinks it’s leveraging Viacom’s connection between shitty Spike TV and a highly rated show on MTV, because obviously the Robbie E and Cookie gimmicks worked so well for them earlier this year.

5) Scott Steiner heard about “Ronnie Juice” and, instead of understanding that’s a name for Ronnie’s shitty mixed drink, assumed this guy would bring him steroids.

4) Dixie Carter wants to have extra-marital sex with someone with a New England accent other than Vince Russo.

3) Eric Young is tired of looking like the biggest dipshit on the roster.

2) Hulk Hogan is tired of being the most orange person on the roster.

And the No. 1 reason Ronnie from “Jersey Shore” is coming to TNA:

1) It’s god damn christ-punching TNA, and any chance they get to throw an appearance fee at a celebrity (and last I checked, Ronnie was commanding between $12,000 and $20,000 an appearance), they do. Because they’re idiots.

It’s like fucking Groundhog Day around here. Join us again in four hours when TNA makes its next stupid-ass business decision. -Eric

Jeremy’s Blog: Initial thoughts on Scott Hall: The Wrestler from E:60


In case you missed it last night, ESPN is offering up the Scott Hall’s “The Wrestler” segment from E:60 online. The segment was incredibly short and really shows how bad off Scott Hall is now. What it doesn’t do is explore anything in great detail. Sure, it gives probable cause for his addictions and shows what he goes through now, but there is no deep investigation. Some of this is the pratfall of committing only 15 minutes or so to the actual story.

The piece features a bunch of other wrestlers, friends, family or wrestling execs commenting on Scott Hall, but the way the short documentary was packaged it came across like they are distancing themselves from his ailments rather than explaining.  These are just my initial thoughts on the program. I reserve the right to reverse course after more viewings, so go screw.

Kevin Nash comes off as a jokester instead of a concerned friend. His line about driving a stake through Hall’s chest as the only means of killing him may be funny but it is sad all the same. It was never explored past that. It was a one-off comment that added little. Sure, it is meant to explain the copious amount abuse Hall has done to his body, but it came off as aloof instead of poignant.

One aspect that should have been explored to same detail was the fact that X-Pac/Sean Waltman was in a similar position and came out of it and thus his pain at seeing Scott continually failing would have been stronger. Waltman taking issue with promoter Steve Ricard is spot on, but then listening to Hall try and explain his situation afterwards lessened the blow. He says that a combo of medications messed his head up so bad that, “Brother, I didn’t even know what country I was in. I don’t even remember being there.” It is hard to feel sympathy for someone who appears to be reveling in it as he smiles and nearly laughs while explaining it all.

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WWE sends Hugo Savinovich to the unemployment line

Score one more for the #occupywallstreet movement. WWE has decided to send longtime broadcaster and multi-time Spanish announce table victim Hugo Savinovich to the unemployment line. He went on YouTube and talked about his release since this is now the norm for anyone who has a small glimmer of face time in public. He says WWE did not renew his contract but he has no regrets. He also stated he was in on every single destruction of the Spanish announce table and took great joy in the wrestlers pain. He knows he was a huge part of the WWE Universe and that he will be missed on the same level as Steve Austin and The Rock.

Of course I made all this up because I do not speak Spanish as my horrible grades from college will attest. He did thank Vince McMahon for letting him work for WWE and a bunch of other mush. Also, that bit about #occupywallstreet doesn’t really apply because Hugo isn’t some douchey white kid with no real solutions or point of view who is more than likely using their parents for money.

You need to watch the video for no other reason then it starts with a parrot. Now I am not up to speed on my parrot knowledge but why the hell is that things chest bald? Is it begging to be deep fried? Yum, deep-fried parrot. -Jeremy

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