According to Prowrestling.net, James “Sugar Bear” “Kamala” Harris recently had his leg amputated due to complications with diabetes and high blood pressure. Let that be a lesson to you dorks sitting at your computers with your desks covered in Funyuns and Mountain Dew cans… don’t change anything, because becoming a Ugandan headhunter with moons and stars painted on your man-boobs puts your health at risk.
Also according to Prowrestling.net, Christian suffered a high ankle sprain while WWE was on tour in Europe and has been pulled from this year’s Survivor Series. Let that be a lesson to your dorks… oh, wait. Anyway, notable replacements in past Survivor Series events have included Earthquake (subbing for Barry “Widowmaker” Windham in 1989), Haku (replacing recently departed Rick Rude in 1990) and Mr. Perfect (taking the Ultimate Warrior’s spot in 1992). This year is sure to be equally compelling. I’m looking at you, Brodus Clay… mostly because you’re a likely candidate for a future leg amputation.
Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, Chris Jericho recently tweeted this comedic gem:
Let me get something straight…I will never wrestle for the WWE again. But there is some big news coming up in the world of dance….
Slap your knee before your leg is amputated. -Eric
P.S. Take care of yourself, Kamala; by all accounts, you’re a good guy. Best wishes!