How gay was Michelangelo? Look at that woman. Possibly the single greatest artist ever but he was so gay.

After Jeremy’s post about why pay for an Impact Wrestling pay per view and a small discussion amongst the staff, we’ve decided to start reviewing Impact Wrestling on the site. I used to shake my wares solely on Twitter (@Stuntgranny or when someone else high jacks that account @difrango11) but we do get more eyeballs on the site. Maybe someone else will man this post, but I doubt it. I’m the only one who doesn’t have to bend his time around a woman. Or like Eric, completely hide the fact that he watches wrestling.

Just to solidify Jeremy’s point of view, they do a full review of Genesis and the fact that they’re airing for free, two weeks later the two big matches from that pay per view. Oh, we also talked about this dilemma on our audio. Jeremy & I also talked about how one of Gail Kim’s fan sites are now following us on Twitter. We’ll achieve wrestling dominance at some point. Bobby Roode comes down to start the in ring portion of the night. I’m not sure why he needs to do the opener. He’s going to get plenty of in ring time, right? I should mention to that I read the paltry spoilers but I’ve forgotten everything except for the two main event match results. Sting comes down and does baby talk with Bobby. Why did I say I’d do this? Roode says he’s the champion but somehow that means he’s not an employee. What a dumb statement. So the preview of the show gave away the big surprise about the main event match. Wow, what a dumb operation. Don’t put that in your preview. We get a Direct commercial with Matt Morgan & Crimson who are suddenly best buddies. They run down Team Robbie as they should. Just a terrible start.

Robbie E & Robbie T come to the ring first. Crimson & Morgan come down. I haven’t thought for long about why they teamed them up. I wonder if Morgan is helping show Crimson the ropes since his in ring work wasn’t the best. Morgan is pretty smooth. What a squash match. I’m not sure why they didn’t protect their TV Champion who spent the better part of two months going after that belt from Eric Young. Magnus & Samoa Joe attack Crimson & Morgan from behind. I can get behind that feud.

We get review of Gunner vs Garrett Bischoff. The Eric variety of Bischoff comes out after the review. We’re given the umpteenth review of Bischoff’s career. Garrett comes out to answer him. The only hook is that Garrett has a new trainer and Eric will be shocked by the answer. We haven’t seen Hulk Hogan in a while. That’s my bet. Winter & Angelina Love talk. What terrible characters. I used to really like Angelina. I was high on Winter. Neither has done jack recently.

We get a review of of Eric Young & ODB. I feel like I’m watching Smackdown with all of these reviews. Christy Hemme is smoking tonight. Angelina is accompanying Winter & EY is with ODB. I have a fondness for EY & ODB. It’s the right level of cheese. First time I’ve liked EY in ages. The director does the right thing and zooms in on a shot so that EY would stop being distracting. What a douche. ODB gets the pin since Winter hasn’t been worth TV time recently.

AJ Styles comes out while we get more review. He calls out Kazarian. No surprise here. Frankie doesn’t answer but Christopher Daniels does. Daniels like he has something over Kazarian. AJ tosses the mic at Daniels. Kazarian is definitely being held against his will. I’m pretty sure the pay off will suck.

Holy shit buckets, more review. Bully Ray talks about trending on Twitter. I am watching Smackdown. Except I haven’t seen a good match yet. Or good character development. Bobby’s back side is gotten by Ray. Roode gets two segments but we’re not going to hear from Jeff Hardy? Another bad segment. James Storm hits the ring to call out Kurt Angle. Storm calls him a cheater. Angle babbles for a bit but Sting gets more mic time. He talks about the other match first. What bad timing. Sting tells us about the rubber match for Storm and Angle. So the opener blew both big surprises for tonight. Brilliant work guys. (That’s sarcasm.)

Angle makes like it takes a long time to put on a singlet. He should have been given more time to dress though. The match is moving at an appropriate pace when they go to the commercial break. First bad part of the match, Angle barely kicking out after the Back Stabber. Storm locks in an Ankle Lock. Angle Slam got a two count. Angle chipmunks some beer that Earl Hebner ignores. The beer to the eyes doesn’t score the pin for Angle. Decent finishing sequence with a Code Breaker into a Last Call Super Kick. The crowd should be cheering more.

Madison Rayne talks to Sting who appears to be in the middle of a photo shoot. So slick, they show the picture thru a camera eye hole. Madison takes on Mickie James in a cage match next week. At least they’re planning something in advance. We’re heading right into the main even match. I would have given more breathing room between the matches. The crowd is pretty mild on Jeff Hardy. Borash does the formal introductions while Bobby Roode waits on the ramp. They battle for 3-4 minutes on the outside before the match starts. Of course they go to commercial after Hardy tosses Roode back outside.

The tide turns shortly after the break when Hardy misses the flying leg/butt lariat. Roode put together some good offense. Bully Ray makes the save by pulling the referee out of the ring and kicking him in the grill. So we get no resolution to the rematch? Just like the pay per view. Roode doesn’t gain heat. Hardy looks to be behind Storm now. If not they go with a three way dance which I’m never excited about. Hardy should have been built up more before taking on the champ. Storm shouldn’t have been thrown off the scent either. It’s a big reason his reaction was pretty flat. And Sting was everywhere else tonight but for some reason, he didn’t show up after the DQ. -Kevin