Almost Live, Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 27 Aug. ’18

Aga Kahn Museum in Toronto ON. Designed by Fumihiko Maki. Picture saved from agakahnmuseum.org.

The WWE is in Bizarro World so let’s get this party started. Nope, they’re not cheering for Roman Reigns so it’s not that bizarre. Reigns blows off Braun Strowman‘s threats because he didn’t come out soon enough. Of course, Strowman does show up. Reigns challenges Strowman to a match using the Briefcase. Strowman isn’t going to Cash In because The Shield can show up. Strowman announces that they will fight in Hell In A Cell. They shake on the deal. Dolph Ziggler feels the need to chime in. Drew McIntyre is in tow. They need a new challenge so they want to fight Reigns & Strowman. Great plan guys. (Hint sarcasm.) Constable Corbin comes out and makes it so.

Oh boy. Corbin came to the ring to praise himself. He then makes a match between himself and Finn Balor. I expected him to babble on longer. I’m glad it was short and sweet. The announcers are being forced to talk about Balor taking this match on “short notice.” They’ve wrestled several times in the last month. No preparation was needed. They proceed to have the same match they’ve had before. Balor gives Corbin a Sling Blade. Deep Six by Corbin shortly after only gets two. Balor with a flip dive onto Corbin on the outside. Corbin brings a chair into the ring. Balor thinks about using it but goes for the Coup De Grace. Corbin gets up and uses the chair for the DQ. Corbin restarts the match under “No DQ” rules. Corbin whacks Balor with the chair a few more times. End of Days for the win.

I buzzed right through the video with Jeff Jarrett in it. Apollo Crews is pumping up Dana Brooke. Titus O’Neil comes in and tells her she will be taking on Sasha Banks. Neither Apollo nor Brooke exude confidence. O’Neil is still peppy. Brooke does a hand spring which gives her momentum. She follows up with a hand spring back elbow. Meteora by Banks. Back Stabber into the Bank Statement for the tap out win.

Jinder Mahal wants Dean Ambrose achieve serenity. Ambrose finds his inner peace by describing how he’d dismantle Mahal. Jinder backs away.

Seth Rollins comes out to do some talking. He’s ready for an open challenge since Ziggler and McIntyre are tied up. Kevin Owens answers the challenge. Things haven’t gone as planned for him since he moved back to Raw. Owens isn’t leaving this building without a title. He gets the crowd against him a bit by playing up the Montreal/French Connection. Rollins had the majority of offense early. Owens starts working over Rollins. Second rope elbow drop by Owens gets two. Owens tosses Rollins into the barricade. Owens goes for a Cannonball but Rollins moves. Both men recover in the ring. Sling Blade by Rollins. Owens clocks Rollins going for a third suicide dive. He gets the third later. Frog Splash by Rollins only gets a two count. Owens drives Rollins shoulder first into the post. Owens locks in a cross face. Rollins reaches for the ropes. Owens grabs Rollins arm and strangles him with it. Rollins rolls through and side kicks Owens. Rollins gets stunned. It only got a two count. Buckle Bomb by Rollins. Owens bounces into a super kick. Rollins gives Owens and enziguri sitting on the top rope. Moonsault comes up empty for Owens. Stomp for the win.

Braun Strowman gives Corbin the Money In The Bank briefcase. He tells him to bring it to HIAC.

Kevin Owens is in a chair in the ring. He says he quits and ends up walking out.

Renee Young is smart and wonders why Ziggler & McIntyre want a match with Reigns & Strowman. They use wrestling logic that their bodies should be beat up. They also think they will quarrel. Actually, they sold me. Good deal.

Has the B Team always come out to cheerleader music? The Revival come out for another match with the B Team. Bo Dallas takes the beating for the B Team. Dash Wilder keeps Dallas from getting a tag. Scott Dawson continues to wear him down. Curtis Axel gets the most luke warm hot tag ever. Shatter Machine for the win. The difference between the Raw tag team scene and that of SD Live is a chasm. They give one to Dallas after the match. The Revival is mad about the Raw tag team scene. Well, trade for The Bar because they aren’t doing much on SDL.

Elias has his concert. Elias seems to have a delivery about how shitty each that cracks me up. Trish Stratus ends up interrupting him. She is defending her home town. Elias says that they’ll never see the Stanley Cup in their life times. Trish says it’s like him winning a WWE championship. She’s ready for Evolution and to take on Alexa Bliss. Elias says that he doesn’t date anyone who is “in their sixties.” She slaps him.

Natalya comes out for her match with Alicia Fox. Alexa Bliss gets the microphone first though. She insults Trish for being irrelevant. Natalya for being a nobody. Bliss is ready to take back her championship at HIAC. The promos lasted longer than the match. Sharpshooter for the win.

The Bellas are back stage. The worst kept secret is let out of the bag, the Bellas are back in action next week.

The WWE is really playing up HHH vs Undertaker.

We needed more Baron Corbin. At least Bobby Lashley is in this segment. His match is next. Corbin gives him two opponents. The Ascension are those opponents. Lashley knocks down Connor early to get the upper hand on Viktor. A blind tag by Connor got things started for the heels. Ron Simmons spine buster on Viktor. Lashley knocks Connor off the apron. Dominator for the win. That’s exactly what Lashley should be doing.

Jinder Mahal & Dean Ambrose have their match. Sunil Singh gets taken out early. Mahal gets some offense in early. Ambrose fires back. High knee by Mahal turns things back around. Dirty Deeds almost out of the blue for the win.

Roman Reigns & Braun Strowman are out first. Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre come out as a united front. Reigns has the upper hand early. McIntyre changes the momentum. Reigns tries to fight off a Sleeper. Reigns backs him into a corner. Dolph gets tossed over the top ropes. Reigns gives Ziggler a big boot. McIntyre still gets tagged in early enough to cut off Reigns again. Superman Punch on Ziggler gives Reigns another opening. Of course my recording cut off here. I’ll learn on Direct TV. – Kevin DiFrango

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