Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 13 May ’19

Neasden Temple in London England. Picture from @neasdentemple

After two weeks of not the best programming, we arrive in London which normally has trash shows. Fantastic. Let’s hope for the best. The Miz is out for Miz TV. He’s ready for Shane on Sunday. He invites out Roman Reigns. Naturally London puts to rest the positive vibes for Reigns and sing “Oh, Walk With Elias” on repeat. Reigns wants the fierce Miz from last week. We get a fiery promo. Shane McMahon comes out. He has Elias & Bobby Lashley attack Reigns & Miz from behind.

Naturally, we get a tag team match after the break. The match was standard fare until Elias decided to walk the ropes then come off of it with a Meteora. Aren’t heels supposed to stay away from flash moves? The Miz got to take the beating. He finally makes it to the corner only to have Shane pull Reigns off the apron and throw him into the stairs to cause a DQ. The heels team up on The Miz to beat him down. Reigns finally recovers and dives over the top rope onto all of them. Reigns gets overwhelmed. The Miz saves him with a chair.

The WWE does a great job with a video package about Seth Rollins & AJ Styles. Why they never did anything like that for Lesnar in the build to WM, is a mystery to me.

Braun Strowman doesn’t regret what he did to Sami Zayn. The later is complaining to Shane McMahon. Zayn talks himself into a Falls Count Anywhere match against Braun for his spot in MITB.

Mojo Rawley comes out with face paint on. I’m just shaking my head. Apollo Crews is a Wild Card for this week. Crews sells a knee injury. Rawley attacks it. Alabama Slam for the win by Rawley. Does the WWE think a chest protector solves everyone’s problems?

Nikki Cross asks Alexa Bliss about her bag issue. Bliss complains. I am warm to the idea of them being friends. Nikki says she’ll do anything to help Bliss. Alexa puts her in her place in the four way match tonight because of her gear issue.

Becky Lynch is getting a great reaction which is no surprise. She knows what she’s walking into at MITB. She throws some good barbs at both Lacey Evans & Charlotte. Charlotte & Lacey throw some shade right back before they sign the contract. They end up in a brawl. Lynch eventually ends up taking a beating. Good work by all.

Baron Corbin comes out next. I’m just begging people to stop booing him. Get him off my TV by being silent. Ricochet comes out. I saw this match on Twitter earlier. I’m just hoping Ricochet doesn’t loss again. Ricochet takes a Deep Six but kicks out of it. Ricochet turns things around with a Swinging DDT. Ricochet rolls through on a 630 attempt. He gets booted charging at Corbin. Head scissors take over is followed by a running moonsault. It only gets two. Corbin reverses into an End of Days for the win. Corbin puts a ladder over top of Ricochet and climbs tot eh briefcase. Ricochet recovers and knocks over the ladder.

We get video of the Samoa Joe/Dominic Mysterio confrontation. Rey Mysterio wonders what kind of a man Samoa Joe is to do such a thing. Cesaro wonders in and heels it up. He implies that Samoa Joe looks more like the father than Rey. That causes a short brawl in the locker room.

We get the Roman Reigns Leukemia video package. Saving them for overseas I suppose.

AJ Styles gets interviewed. He didn’t hit Rollins on purpose. That being said, he’s ready to win the Universal Championship.

Naomi, Dana Brooke and Natalya all get taped promos as they come to the ring. Nikki Cross acts wild on the way to the ring. Alexa Bliss gets a taped promo and the head set. Corey Graves has to pretend to laugh at her terrible royal baby jokes. The biggest move of the match was Dana Brooke setting up a ladder and jumping onto to the other three. Nikki Cross ends up winning the match. Cross sets up the ladder for Bliss to climb and snag the brief case.

Sami Zayn gets a back stage promo. He’s got an idea to beat Strowman tonight and to win at MITB.

Cesaro & Rey Mysterio have a match after a promo by Samoa Joe. Joe is going to teach Dominic how to be a man because Rey can’t. Cesaro is looking great which means he’s losing. Cesaro gets Rey set up for a “Swiss” One Nine. He misses. Rey capitalizes. Cesaro fires back with an upper cut as Rey comes off the ropes. Rey reverses into a hed scissors take over. 619 & a Splash for the win.

Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder are tired of being played as the fools. They tell the Usos to find them.

Firefly Funhouse is upon us again. He’s about ready to reveal what he’s really been working on. He’s learned to control his rage. He turns his back. They show his new ring gear which includes a Joker type mask and looking like a twister carnival barker.

Seth Rollins isn’t worried about respect any more. He looked up to AJ Styles in 2006 when they had theor pne match in the indies. Rollins is ready to prove something to himself, the crowd and Styles at MITB.

Braun Strowman & Sami Zayn have their match. It quickly spills outside into the concourse. Baron Corbin attacks. He attacks in two rounds. After putting him through a table, Strowman kicks out. Zayn & Corbin try to double team him but Strowman turns it around. Corbin is nowhere to be found after a commercial. Drew McIntyre makes his appearance to beat down Strowman. He fails just like Corbin. Zayn tries to get away. He makes it to the ramp. McIntyre & Corbin rejoin the fight. They put down Strowman for good this time. Sami Zayn wins and is part of MITB on Sunday. Good switch out. Corbin tosses Zayn back to a recovering Strowman. Braun choke slams Zayn through the announcer’s table. Interesting. But I expect Sami to be fine on Sunday.

Kevin DiFrango

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