Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 1 July ’19

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We get off to a roaring start with Braun Strowman taking on Bobby Lashley in a Falls Count Anywhere match. They get to clobber each other which is quite enjoyable. Braun Strowman plows Lashley on the stage and through the Titantron/LED Boards. Corey Graves gets to say “Holy shit” on TV. We get all kinds of fireworks for the First of July. Crew are “putting out the fire” after the explosions stop. My wife thinks it a shoot. After a long pause of silence, they cut to commercial. Michael Cole comes back from break with serious voice.

The Viking Raiders come to the ring first. Big E gets to do the usual entrance talk. He starts against Erik. A mistake costs Big E a good start. Big E is ready to make the tag when Samoa Joe jumps Xavier Woods to cause a DQ. Kofi Kingston comes down to make the save.Ivar & Erik help in the beat down. So they’re heels now? I smell a six man tag after a commercial.

We get the six man. Samoa Joe is the best bully the WWE has had in a while. Kofi gets a hot tag so Joe ducks out. Kofi starts losing. We get that spot where everyone gets a spot. Trouble in Paradise to Ivar who is on the apron. Samoa Joe locks on the Kokina Clutch. Kofi passes out for the Joe/Raiders win. Smart move on their part.

We get a recap about Drake Maverick‘s 24/7 Title run. He brought his wife Renee to Raw. She gives him an ultimatum. It’s her or the 24/7 Championship. R Truth walks by just to rub it in. What a dick.

Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows get to have another promo with AJ Styles. They seem better with how things are going but Gallows & Anderson still need to win. Anderson puts his “Hot Asian Wife” on the line if AJ can win the US Title. Challenges all around.

R Truth comes out with No Way Jose in his Conga line. Truth taunts Drake Maverick at ring side. He resists then Truth gets chased from ring side. Cesaro was waiting the whole time. He takes out Jose with a Neutralizer at ring side.

Charley introduces the Street Profits even though they were shown earlier, presumably by accident. Montez Ford does more of the talking with Angelo Dawkins providing enough to keep things moving forward. They want some smoke, even though they have the championships.

New woman gets to interview The Miz. He’s annoyed that Shane has insulated himself with Drew McIntyre, the Revival and Elias. He’s ready to make Elias a subway entertainer again. He warns Shane that the Undertaker may show up tonight.

Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre come out after the promo. They had Roman Reigns shaking in his boots. Shane tells us he isn’t worried about Taker. Drew does a better job of saying they won’t be intimidated. Drew challenges him to come out for a fight. We get lightning. We get the gong. Shane & Drew act like it doesn’t take the Undertaker forever to get to the ring. They bail from the ring. Taker gets to talk. Reigns didn’t ask for his help. If they want to know why he helped, it’s because they’re trash. He’s ready to take them six feet deep.

Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans question why Seth Rollins would agree to this match. Evans goes the same route. Evans thinks that beating Natalya tonight will scare Lynch. That logic is not sound.

Natalya is waiting in the ring for Evans. The bickering of the announcers distracts from the match. Baron Corbin pulls Natalya’s leg while the ref is looking the other way. Woman’s Right for the win. They are really trying to make us believe that Corbin & Evans can win.

Ricochet is talking to Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins when Charley Caruso comes calling. She wants to know what he thought of AJ Styles comments earlier. Anderson & Gallows stir the pot.

They are definitely stirring the pot. Anderson & Gallows give AJ their version of what went down. Anderson tells Styles that the AJ he knew in Japan isn’t around any more either.

The Miz jumps Elias as he gets into the ring. Skull Crushing Finale for a quick fall in the best 2 out of 3 Falls Match. Drift Away in just about the same amount of time. We get the third fall aka a regular match after the break. Elias gets to work over the Miz. A back slide changes the momentum. Reverse Drift Away only gets a two count for Elias. He goes for a jumping knee on the apron but runs into the post. The Miz applies the Figure Four for the tap out win.

Charley has been a busy woman tonight. She has Becky Lynch & Seth Rollins this time. They’re trying to be cute and it isn’t working for this viewer. Maria Kannelis shows up and is a better woman than Becky because she’s a mother. Mike Kannelis shows up. He doesn’t get to talk. Maria challenges them to a match. Nobody wanted this. Except for Mike & Maria. Maybe Vince McMahon.

Mike & Seth Rollins start the match. I’m assuming they will be in there for the majority of it. Rollins forces Mike to tag in. She grabs the mic and talks down to Mike. Becky is ready to attack on the outside when Maria blurts out that she’s pregnant. Becky ceases. Maria says that he isn’t man enough to have another child. Dis-Arm-Him for the win. Maria insults Mike some more in the ring. Why is this angle taking place on Raw? We’re still PG, right?

Charley doesn’t know what to say. Paul Heyman pops up. He teases that Brock Lesnar may or may not be there. The Street Profits interrupt. Heyman doesn’t want to be part of their antics and shows himself of stage.

Alexa Bliss is thinking of Braun Strowman & Bobby Lashley. She invites out Nikki Cross for A Moment of Bliss. Cross will always thank Bliss for giving her an opportunity. Carmella pops up and wonders why Cross isn’t the one with the championship opportunity. Carmella challenges Bliss to a match. Quick roll up by Carmella for the win.

Carmella has a match with Nikki after the break. They have more of a match but not much. Swinging Neck breaker for Cross win. New woman interviews them. She tells them that the WWE Universe wants Bliss swapped out for Cross against Bayley.

Renee leaves Drake Maverick. The 24/7 Pack runs past Maverick. R Truth sneaks out from behind a portion of wall. Maverick attacks from behind and calls for a referee. Maverick wins the 24/7 Title. Renee comes out of the restroom to find out that their honeymoon will be 24/7.

This new policy of not going to commercial during action is silly. They need to do more of the during match commercials on Raw. Smackdown Live had a few of those last week. Styles pins Ricochet while his leg is under the ropes. The referee misses it and rings the bell. It’s leading to weird early pins or bad reviews like this one. I don’t really want a commercial break for replays in other sports either. The match restarts. Ricochet kicks out after a twisting power bomb. Ricochet rolls through and pins Styles. They shake after the match. Anderson & Gallows mock them. Styles acts like he’s on Ricochet’s side. AJ clocks Ricochet. Magic Killer by Anderson & Gallows. Styles Clash from the middle rope. They continue the beat down after. Ricochet gets no help because he has no friends.

Kevin DiFrango

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