Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 15 July ’19

The Seagram Building in New York City. Designed by Mies van der Rohe & Philip Johnson. Picture from and by Michelle Young.

Paul Heyman wonders why people didn’t believe him. Because it’s wrestling? Call me crazy. Paul Heyman announces a ten man battle royal to determine who his next challenger will be. We’re all just living in Brock Lesnar‘s World, still.

The Usos & Ricochet take on the Revival & Robert Roode. Scott Dawson gets pinned by Ricochet not even 2 minutes into the match. Yuck. I watched a Flap Jack pin Jimmy Uso. Double yuck.

Finally, the pin fall in the match that matters after a break of course. Ricochet gets the deciding fall. Recoil aka one kneed face buster followed by the 630 for the win. the Club joins the fray. Ricochet goes right after AJ Styles. The Usos make the save. Unfortunately for all three, The Revival & Roode help the Club. Ricochet & The Usos get beat down.

The Viking Raiders get to destroy more enhancement talent. The Viking Experience wins it for them. Big surprise.

Drew McIntyre goes into the locker room to have a talk with Cedric Alexander who is surrounded by Finn Balor & The Street Profits. I love that Alexander didn’t back down from McIntyre’s usual line of threats.

They have their match next. I wonder during the start of the match if it would behoove Alexander to add some of the weight he used to have in Ring of Honor now that he’s off 205 Live. McIntyre dominates the majority of the match. Alexander reverses an inverted Alabama Slam into a Victory Roll for the win.

Finn Balor has a promo admitting that he’s hurting after losing the Intercontinental Championship. He’s ready to go through, over or through Samoa Joe. I assume this was a taped promo but Samoa Joe immediately responds. He bandies about his usual threats too.

Roman Reigns to make Samoa Joe awkwardly long in the ring. This week is his week. He’s going to cap it off by winning the battle royal tonight.

We get an awkwardly short match between Joe and Balor. Finn wins out of the blue. Joe assaults him after the match. Balor ends up getting the better of him. The lights go out. Bray Wyatt shows up in the ring holding Balor. Sister Abigail. Lights go back out. Maniacal cackling.

Drake Maverick checked into a hotel under the name 24/7 Champion. It was to hide his identity. R Truth is hiding in the background. He bribes the hotel employee to look for hornswoggle.

The Street Profits continue to do funny segments reacting to the action back stage. They make fun of Maverick for not consummating the marriage yet. Angelo Dawkins talks of his love for Nikki Cross. Montez Ford predicts a Seth Rollins win because much like them, Seth wants the all the smoke.

The Club is taking on the Lucha House Party. Karl Anderson gets to look weak even against Gran Metallik. Luke Gallows sort of has to sell for him too. I’m confused. Ricochet attacks AJ Styles who was on the apron. This assault is used to pause the action for a commercial.

Lince Dorado gets to sell for his portion of the match. Kalisto gets the hot tag but ultimately takes the loss. Calf Crusher for the tap out win by Styles.

New woman is trying to look more like Renee Young. Seth Rollins at least tells us that her name is Sara. First time I recall hearing it. He’s pissed about what happened last night. Lesnar is walking around with a title that he doesn’t deserve. He gives props to Becky Lynch about her toughness. Rollins is going through any and everyone on his way back to fighting Brock Lesnar.

Alexa Bliss (with Nikki Cross) is taking on Carmella, Naomi & Natalya for the right to take on Becky Lynch at Summerslam. After Rollins alludes to Becky Lynch not showing up, she shows up. They are having an elimination style match. I like this style more than the best 2 out of 3 falls. Carmella show boats. Both Corey Graves & Renee Young chide her. She out foxes Naomi & Natalya to render their commentary moot. Bliss does sneak in and pin Carmella to eliminate her.

Naomi starts beating on Bliss. Natalya continues to be MIA. Bliss turns it around. Natalya & Naomi are fighting after the break. Bliss attacks from behind. Naomi gives Bliss a Bubba Bomb. Scissors Roll Up for a near fall. Bliss rolls out of the ring. Discus Clothesline for a two count. This match was very back and forth with opponents flipping in and out. Natalya stacks up Naomi for the second elimination.

Bliss starts out on the offensive. Natalya takes out Cross by accident. Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter. Bliss taps out for the Nattie win. Natatlya is excited to be going to her home country for Summerslam. Lynch steps in the ring. She tells Nattie that her friend is not going to be taking the match at SS. Lynch basically says that Natalya needs to beat Lynch to revive her career. Natalya gets the message and sends her warning shot.

Randy Orton can beat Brock Lesnar. Thanks for that news flash.

For some reason, The Miz is making Dolph Ziggler his guest on Miz TV. Ziggler back handedly compliments The Miz. He has an easy come back because Ziggler lost in 17 seconds last night. Ziggler tells the Miz he should “respect his roots” in Cleveland instead of being Mr. Hollywood. Ziggler drags Maryse into the conversation. Miz snaps.

R Truth wins back the 24/7 Championship just before Maverick can consummate his marriage.

We’ve got Big E, Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, Bobby Lashley, Roman Reigns, Baron Corbin, Rey Mysterio, Cesaro, Randy Orton and Braun Strowman are our participants. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman come out to watch from the ramp. Cesaro gets to show off early so no way he is winning. Lashley attacks him going for The Swing. Lashley elimnates Cesaro. Rey attacks Lashley. Strowman eliminates Lashley. Zayn eliminates a weakened. Baron Corbin tosses Rey Mysterio. He gets confronted by Rollins, Reigns and Strowman. Corbin gets tossed officially by Rollins. Strowman starts splashing Rollins & Reigns in separate corners. Strowman side steps a spear and Rollins gets it. Braun & Reigns fight. Reigns tries to pull a pushing Strowman over the ropes. Rollins recovers and tosses htem both. Randy Orton shows back up. Orton wins in a fight on the apron by giving him the hanging DDT. Rollins ends up recovering. The Stomp. Rollins tosses Randy Orton for the win. Paul Heyman warns Rollins of his fate at Summerslam. Rollins vows to be the Universal Champion again after the same event. Good fire out of him.

Kevin DiFrango

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