Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on May 20, 2013 by stuntgranny

WontBeSurprised

You can see the website for the picture well enough. If you’re blind but somehow reading these words, it’s from LOLpix.com. I will not be surprised when Curtis Axel is introduced by Paul Heyman at the 9 PM slot. My woman asked me who it was. I thought she meant Kury Angle. Oh well, it’s not a big deal. I saw the tease earlier today so I knew something was coming.

They start with ambulance. Ryback wants an ambulance match. Aside from the whole vehicle, what’s the real difference with the match stips? Ryback going full heel by running down the fans. Glad they’re putting some gusto behind it. I don’t think he delivered though.

One sure fire way to catch up, FF the introductions. At least Fandango, Wade Barrett, The Miz & Chris Jericho got entrances. But like any good match, nothing happens except for more WWE App pimping. Fandango and Summer Rae bring us back. Jericho ends up taking advantage of Barrett. The Miz comes in for the cheap figure four tap. Jericho partners with Summer Rae but then blows her off. I guess that’s what you call it. Weak sauce.

Vickie comes out without her better half. She rigs a vote for Jack Swagger‘s next opponent. Of course it’ll be Randy Orton. Very pumped about the Shield holding lots of gold. Kane and Daniel Bryan start witty banter then it turns into arguing. Kofi is the piece maker oh, because he’s teaming with them tonight. The Shield will have another easy win.

Sheamus gets the big win but Mark Henry gets the TV time. He went home. Jerry Lawler implies it might last for a little bit. Titus O’Neil is his fodder. Darren Young will factor into the match but Sheamus will overcome. Yep, he gets to eat some barricade. O’Neil takes advantage. JBL & Lawler are putting him over something fierce. Young factors in again which gets O’Neil a near fall. White Noise. Brogue Kick. Mitchell Cool even calls him game at the end.

I’ll still listen to Paul Heyman‘s spiel. I didn’t know Lesnar was taking a break. Good for him. Come back at Summer Slam. Oh my lord, it’s a re-package Michael McGillicutty. Curtis Axel has himself quite the playoff beard. His new name is a mash up of his dad’s & grandfather’s. Good deal. Heyam is surprised by HHH‘s appearance. Did the internet explode when he big footed a possible new star? Axel steps up. After a slap, we get a match between the two.

Alberto Del Rio and Big E Langston go at it. Was I not paying attention to the news or did I really not see an update on my boy Dolph Ziggler? Big E showing off the strength with the Del Rio cross arm breaker turning into a ring post baseball bat. Aside from a Lawler joke about Ziggler keeping AJ monogamous. Big Ending for the victory after some eye gouging.

Kaitlyn attacked AJ Lee last night. Layla El is her opponent even though she’s #1 contender. AJ locks in the Black Widow for another win.

Zack Ryder takes on Cody Rhodes for who is really in the dog house. I’m sort of in the dog house. Baby Momma Drama is dragging his feet on the move out. It’s time to draft some legal documents. Horray for friends. No, I can’t pay attention to another feed. Well, maybe I could if it’s silent like Ryback. Disaster Kick to put Ryder in the dog house. Ryback gets to pummel Ryder more. Mention that Ryder was Cena’s friend! Turn Ryder heel after this beating.

The Shield shows up for their match. I’m glad they got time to brag before the match. Kane & Daniel Bryan interrupt and bring a commercial. Kofi Kingston starts off the match. He gets to take a beating too. Bryan gets to be the hot tag. Lawler re-tells an already bad joke about voices in the head. Dude, quite after one bomb. Big six man stand off to break. Kofi gets to botch some offense. Daniel Bryan is awesome in the ring. Big surprise, I know. Kane gets the second hot tag. Double suicide dive. Kane & Reigns are in the ring. Ambrose & Rollins dispatch their opponents. Flying knee by Rollins. Spear by Reigns for the win. Glad they didn’t pin Bryan. More of a statement pinning Kane. HHH gets to act tough.

Kaitlyn & Natalya get to act weird. Cody Rhodes makes the segment much better than it had any right to be. No one is surprised when Randy Orton runs away with the voting. At least they didn’t fudge the numbers to make it look like a closer race than it ever could have been. Him and Jack Swagger start after the break. The match gets my attention when Orton starts selling a knee injury. More app pimping. I feel like it’s the Twitter rage all over again. So naturally they show the Twitter ticker after the break. Swagger gets Orton into the Patriot Lock. He had to switch legs. Ha ha. RKO out of nowhere. That’s his trademark more than anyone else.

Curtis Axel gets the big second entrance. Nice of HHH to let him follow. Axel looks a little bigger than the last time I saw him. The announcers are selling HHH’s injuries from last night. Almost certainly confirming that he’ll win. HHH is trying to shake something off. He can’t get back into the ring. Trips sits down for a spell. The doctor then calls it. I’m not engrossed. Or worried. -Kevin

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12 Rounds of Deep Dish Pizza Starring Not John Cena & Not CM Punk

Posted on April 25, 2013 by stuntgranny
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It’s time to rob this train – Not John Cena

I went back to my parent’s place this weekend in Altoona, PA for my two nephews’ birthday joint party. This time around I remembered to bring Not John Cena and Not CM Punk with me because I knew I’d be able to use my dad’s 1952 (or ’53 he’s not entirely sure) Lionel O gauge train set to take some more pictures. My dad’s train set has gone from Christmas special to filling the majority of a 27′x27′ addition that I helped to design. Having a “movie set” helped this project. Since my parents don’t have anyone around anymore and can only dote on the grand kids when they head to Virginia, they’ve turned the train set into a seasonal set that changes for winter and summer. This set of pictures was done on the summer set. I wish I had this movie idea in place before embarking on this set of pictures but I still liked the product that I came out with. Since the view rate is always lower on our Facebook page, these photo journals will make it on to the site proper every time with additional information.

My dad was running the train at a very high clip which is why the train is so blurred. I figured there was nothing like a train robbery that started with some ludicrous way to get onto to said vehicle. Not John Cena looked better to have a jumping motion so he got set as the villain in this photo journal.

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I can’t let you rob this train Not John. These deep dish pizzas need to get to Chicago. – Not CM Punk

As you can see, there is green grass. During the winter set, it is covered in snow that my nieces help to do after Thanksgiving. I also did the remainder of the pictures after my dad had shut the trains down. To the left is the Steelers train which has a car for every Super Bowl victory along with an engine and caboose. He has three trains on the main platform. In the background is the trolley platform that has a European shelf which now contains the summer zoo that we bought for him this past Christmas.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on April 15, 2013 by stuntgranny

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After the normal review, we get started with the handicapped match of Sheamus & Randy Orton against the Big Show. Sheamus should really be smart enough to tag out to Orton to beat the Big Show. I know he’s mad with him and all but that’s plain stupid. Randy gets to be the hot tag tonight. Sure, whatever. The crowd was back to normal on Smackdown. This Raw is no different. Brogue Kick + RKO = win. Snooze. 3MB get mic time because they were beat down by The Shield. They called the Shield out.

3MB gets more mic time, this time in the ring. I’m glad the Shield isn’t wasting their time. Brock Lesnar will though. People are loving Lesnar doing this. Not quite sure why he was ever positioned as a heel. Paul Heyman tells us he wants another match with HHH. This trilogy isn’t getting drug out like Rock vs Cena. Steel cage match is the offer. Disappointing. Expected HIAC.

Hot damn, I rewound for the yoodling. I should shot myself. Antonio Cesaro gets to beat Kofi Kingston. Nice of the WWE to try and make Kofi look like something other than a jobber. Holy shit, they gave them a commercial. I’m not sure I’ve seen Cesaro throw that running uppercut in the corner. That looked really good. Trouble in Paradise knocks Cesaro out of the ring. Trouble in Paradise again. Kofi is the new US Champion. This could be a good move for Cesaro. They did have me hooked by the end.

Buzzed right thru the Dolph Ziggler review for his interview. I still don’t get some of his outfit choices. The leather jacket is not your style. Alberto Del Rio gets to screw up a good promo. I love Ziggler turning him down because of an injury. Vickie Guerrero orders the match. Nice spite ruling. Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger join the party. Del Rio takes out Swagger. Jack gets the jump when Big E distracts Del Rio. Patriot lock does more damage.

The Prime Time Players have shirts now. Kind of simple, kind of slick and the back is a horror house of words. Wow, surprised that the Taker, Kane & Bryan vs. The Shield match will be next week. Not as surprised when they say it will be in London. They try to go a little extra big there. Daniel Bryan takes the beating early. Kane gets the luke warm tag. He destroys Darren Young anyway. Flying Headbutt win.

Ryback was in a dark room. I’m really digging the setting. He’s pissed at Cena because he didn’t help him out when he was being assaulted by the Shield. And Mark Henry. He’s going to step out of John Cena’s shadow. Good promo. All I could think though was, he needs to be able to do this in something other than a specific setting.

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Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Preview Part IV

Posted on April 6, 2013 by stuntgranny

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Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio defending against Jack Swagger: The build up has been the most boring of any of these bouts. The hate might have worked better if Alberto Del Rio was a bigger baby face. He hasn’t come close to replacing Rey Mysterio. I really don’t like him any more as a baby face because he still feels so bland. Jack Swagger hasn’t done himself any favors since coming back either. I haven’t been impressed with his in ring work which has been passable at best. His gimmick isn’t doing much for me either. I suppose it’s good that he has a mouth piece but since the gimmick isn’t working I don’t like Zeb Colter. Prediction: Alberto Del Rio sucks slightly less so he retains.

Good Match

CM Punk vs The Undertaker: Aren’t we all glad that William Moody aka Paul Bearer died so that we could have an angle for Wrestlemania? I do wonder what this build up would have looked at without this tragic end to a fantastic mouth piece. I was glad that CM Punk got to sink his teeth into something other than the length of his title reign. I thought the angle ended up pigeon holing him from how he wanted to verbally attack the Undertaker. He did what he could and I enjoyed it but I also thought it was predictable and a little bit boring. The interesting part of this match is that because of the lengthy title reign, CM Punk is a legitimate threat. Undertaker has only made a couple of token appearances in the past year. Punk is a perfect torch handing over guy. Prediction: The streak stands and the internet doesn’t explode.

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Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Preview Part II

Posted on April 4, 2013 by stuntgranny

funk-old-school-2011

Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & the Funkadactyls (Naomi & Cameron) vs Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) & The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie): I feel bad for just about everyone in this match except for the Bella Twins. They shouldn’t have a roster spot and aren’t hot enough to stick around. From what little I’ve seen in Naomi & Cameron in the ring, they seem better than everyone in the Diva’s division right now except Kaitlyn. I know that isn’t saying much since the division is about as low as it can get now. The fact that the WWE audience continues to cheer dancing big men is infuriating. Brodus Clay got off to a good start but getting more silly with another dancing big man is not the correct direction to head. Cody Rhodes is awesome on the stick but his size continues to hinder him. Damien Sandow has the size and stick skills but the WWE hasn’t given him much to sink his teeth into. The WWE will never be serious about their Tag or Divas divisions again except in small spurts. Predicition: Heels have to win some matches during Wrestlemania and this one has heel victory written all over it.

Good Match

Ryback vs Mark Henry: The build for this match has been almost perfect. If it weren’t for the fact that the WWE has rebuilt Henry more times than I can remember and Ryback has had the same gimmick for six months with a brief feud with CM Punk and the Shield, it would have been better. I’m bored by these guys beating up multiple opponents even if they’re showing off tremendous strength. Let’s get back to the build up though. From the moment they first locked eyes, I was excited for this match. Power on power matches are rarely gems in the ring but they create an atmosphere that all the flipping around can’t recreate. These power matches almost always find themselves in the “No touching before insert pay per view” stipulation which makes the writers a little more creative. The bench press contest was fun and so was using a wrestler, even if Zack Ryder deserves more, as a projectile. Prediction: Ryback wins then the WWE immediately gives him the losing streak gimmick to see what he’s made out of.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on March 25, 2013 by stuntgranny

The_Final_Countdown

I’m getting to start early because my boxer decided to fall asleep much earlier than expected. It looks like today starts the final count down to Wrestlemania. I hope this song sticks in your brain during the whole show. Let’s roll.

CM Punk & Paul Heyman get to start the show. If the Rock isn’t the last segment, I’ll be shocked. Punk is not getting much of a reaction. The crowd does get behind the Undertaker attack. The promo didn’t do a whole lot for me. Taker looks like he is mobile. I wonder what length of match he has in him though. Thirty seconds isn’t a test.

Fandango is supposed to make his in ring debut again. They talk about Chris Jericho who never should have been surprised by Fandango showing up when they put his entire entrance up on Smackdown. Jericho goes right after Fandango. Why did Jericho agree to work this angle? I’m confused that this is his thing headed into Wrestlemania. Dolph Ziggler was conveniently ready to go when Fandango ran off. Before the break, I was busy checking the news on Dustin Kilgore, who wrestles for Kent State. He won the the 197 pound division last year and lost this year in the championship 8-6. Impressive career. I wonder if he’ll follow in Dolph’s foot steps. Big E Langston interferes of course. A second attempt works for the Walls. Dolph taps. Langston ambushes him. Someone for their team needs some heat. Fandango comes back down. After dancing in front of him, he assaults Jericho. Why should I believe Fandango can beat Jericho if he just got the guy who has the MITB briefcase to tap? None.

They recap Smackdown again. It really must be Wrestlemania season. Two weeks in a row on this stuff. Sheamus gets to talk until the Shield attacks. These dummies aren’t traveling together? Randy Orton then Big Show make the save. Stay together or within closer ass kicking distance.

Mark Henry gets to continue his show of strength by beating the Usos. They got a splash in which is surprising. World’s Strongest Slam. Impressive but getting repetitive at this point. He’s had this character for a while. This Philly crowd seems luke warm.

They put the 9 PM switch to Antonio Cesaro taking on Alberto Del Rio. Good for them. Mitchell Cool informs us of frequent belt changes at Wrestlemania. I’ll remember that for the John Cena vs the  Rock match. Jack Swagger attacks Ricardo Rodriguez again. Del Rio makes the save. Cesaro celebrates the count out win. Kind of funny. Del Rio attacks Cesaro. Why are you making a baby face look like a petty dick?

The Prime Time Players get to play fodder to Team Hell No. You could convince me the crowd was half of 18,000+ Mitchell Cool just said. I feel bad for Cool when Lawler no sells his “Don’t work six days of the work” line. Kane choke slammed Young for the win.

HHH gives me plenty of catch up time. He delivered a HHH promo and didn’t waste time. I could handle that. HHH kicks Wade Barrett in the nuts.

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Stunt Granny Audio #219

Posted on March 20, 2013 by stuntgranny

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Halleluiah and praise the heavens everyone it is The Audio Experience. Yes, Stunt Granny proudly presents to you Stunt Granny Audio #219. Dusty and Jeremy are reunited after a short spell and they talk all sorts of words. They discuss the Detroit Tigers closer situation. Why you may ask? Well Dusty is in full fantasy baseball mode and needs a steal to come in better than eighth place. They then talk about the different sports venues they have visited and decide just what famous landmarks hold no interest to them. What has happened to wrestling? Is it even worth discussing without going over the same old same old? Is it possible to discuss wrestling now without being totally negative or defeated? Who doesn’t feel like it any longer and why? Who forced our heroes in to a wrestling discussion it the first place? The answer is a surprise as well.  So, in order to find out all you have to do is download the show and give it a listen.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #219

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on March 18, 2013 by stuntgranny

Brad-Pitt-fight-club-body

I was a lazy ass for the site for this past week. I’ll home that trend doesn’t continue. I’m bummed that I didn’t get to my Guinness post for St. Patrick’s Day. That still may be coming. I still have to review the 6 beers I had in Nashville that are all brewed in the fine state of Tennessee. I only have one game to attend this week so I’ll hope to get typing more. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out in black & gold in Pittsburgh to try and get a better crowd reaction. It doesn’t help. His promo doesn’t have Wrestlemania Main Event written anywhere near it. Glad John passed by the Pirates. They have a great history, just not a recent one. This skit is leading to a squash match. Woof. I like the Prime Time Players most of the time. This one was a terrible effort at an inopportune time. This squash match even gets a commercial break. Just wow. Forget what I said two weeks ago about the WWE writers waking up. Five Knuckle Shuffle & AA finishes the match after the break. Recap of Smackdown with Mark Henry, Ryback & the Shield. That was the next break.

David Otunga is fodder for Ryback. The crowd finally gets to the chanting for the clothesline. Shell shock. I’m glad he’s addressing Mark Henry. Vickie makes their match for Wrestlemania. I guess SD has a story line for this week. Granted, everyone knows that the Big Show is going to be the other partner. I was scratching my head watching SD.

Holy cow, another Smackdown recap. They are loving the Fandango. The Great Khali is coming down to the ring for some reason. Fandango wants Natalya to take a crack at his name. He’s going into a Brian Fantana/Ron Burgundy territory hitting on her. I wonder if he’s going to have the parquet by the time they hit Cbus in late April.

I’m kind of digging the R Truth wife beater. The whole outfit is a bit much. Damien Sandow is a good foil for him. I liked both of their promos more than Cena’s. Sandow saves himself by rolling out of the ring and getting counted out. Am I smelling a Rhodes Scholars vs R Truth & Kofi Kingston at Wrestlemania? Kaitlyn interrupts the Bellas who are fawning over Cody‘s mustache. I think I smell a Diva’s Title match too. Rhodes should drop the Bellas. Not even a contest.

Undertaker allows me time to catch up. Undertaker is short and to the point. CM Punk playing with the urn is awesome. I’ve loved his switch in focus away from the title reign length. Good stuff but not much to it.

Daniel Bryan & Kane are taking on Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo. Mitchell Cool said that the mask hides Kane’s expressions. I guess he’s missed every single skit with these two since they’ve been together. Kane looks like he’s going to finish off Primo when AJ Lee skips around the ring. Epico takes the loss instead. Big E Langston & Ziggler vs these two for the titles at WM? Chris Jericho is proud of his Intercontinental Championship total. He’s interrupted by Fandango. Silly Jericho has been in full effect since his babyface turn. He’s not all that funny in this mode.

My mutt Kia can’t decide where to sleep tonight. She just took my spot on the couch. I skip over Alberto Del Rio‘s introduction. At least he has stopped using the car entrance. Cody Rhodes gets to lose to him.  The old shoulder into the post trick gets Rhodes his save face offense. Scratch on that. We do get a commercial break. The live crowd got to see most of Cody’s offense. Mitchell Cool explaining the Cross Arm Breaker like it was a complicated concept was really weird. A part of the crowd starts chanting “USA!” Cody Rhodes taps out. Jack Swagger ambushes Del Rio again. What a fall by Rodriguez. Looked like he rolled thru fairly well though. Zeb Colter gets to back up so that Swagger can save him. Good sell job by Ricardo too.

Booker T is going into the Hall of Fame. Good for him. I would have expected him to get the nod when they go to Texas again.

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CM Punk & John Cena’s Photo Journal From #Nashville Part II

Posted on March 12, 2013 by stuntgranny
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John Cena respects my hustle in the gym even though he doesn’t have my loyalty.

My girlfriend’s mother decided to buy me WWE Rumblers for Christmas. I had been meaning to more with them before now. They were happy about their trip to Nashville. I posted these pictures over on our Facebook page but I’m never sure who sees that so I will re-post them here for your enjoyment. Let’s see what they did Saturday with some extra notes from the trip.

John Cena met me at hotel gym in the morning. It was nice of him to serve as my inspiration to bang out something on a vacation day. All three of us got the gym. We’re definitely getting old when we’re not so hung over we have to skip the gym. After getting cleaned up, we headed out to Belle Meade Plantation. They ushered you thru the gift shop to get your tickets.

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John Cena is ready to go to war for the South.

I couldn’t pass up taking this picture. It’s almost a perfect scale for the WWE Rumblers. We wondered around the estate after buying our tickets and saw the family mausoleum, which I forgot to note in my Facebook post. It’s a not so minor note that wold have helped the post.

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CM Punk wants to make the Undertaker to rest in sleep.

We weren’t allowed to take pictures inside of the mansion itself so no shenanigans for the guided tour portion of Belle Meade. I would have loved to have taken a picture of the bronzed hooves from one of the horses. Considering that the Bellas showed back up last night, it would have been a premonition of two horse faced Divas coming back. We moved on to some food at Hog Heaven which I highly suggest if you ever head to Nashville. The pulled pork was awesome. The Flying Saucer was the next venue that got hit so we could have some afternoon beers. I won’t review the beers in this post but I will post pictures and captions.

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I can’t believe these drunks are taking me to another bar.

I never used any of CM Punk’s tag lines but I did use his straight edge standing to help me out with the next one. I think I put more thought into using John Cena’s triad of ideals than he ever has with this caption.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Posted on March 11, 2013 by stuntgranny

ap_paul_bearer

We have to cover wrestling some time. So here it is after a week off and more to come from our shenanigans in Nashville. Let’s roll.

The WWE does the right thing and pays tribute to Paul Bearer to start the show. The man that awkwardly ended that segment comes out next. Thanks for giving your catch phrase to a real dead man, Undertaker. CM Punk interrupts before Taker can get started. I love the promo again. What a dick move.

They are really pushing WWE Active. I’m still not biting. Kane goes on a rampage against Punk because Undertaker can’t wrestle. Alex Riley finally gets some air time. Big Show comes out next. They recap more story that didn’t happen on TV. Here’s an idea for the WWE. How about less replays and more actual content on the show? Seth Rollins is taking him on one on one. SOrt of, what’s to prevent them from attacking like normal? Shouldn’t they be banned from ringside just to start with. Big Show helps them out with the angle. Triple power bomb. I hope that after Wrestlemania, The Shield progresses and breaks into singles wrestling or a singles wrestler and a tag team. CM Punk cries to Vickie Guerrero about Kane. She puts him in a no DQ match with Kane. Holy shit, a Smackdown replay on Raw? What is coming of this world?

Daniel Bryan was out before the break. We can Tout about Paul Bearer because we haven’t had enough social media on the show yet. Dolph Ziggler is his opponent. I think my boy might win. Big E Langston needs to start doing something other than look menacing. Commercial time. I’d be pretty cool if they made Bryan a legitimate threat again. I get the feeling though he’s headed for Chris Jericho territory. Fun counter by Ziggler. Doesn’t seem very heelish. Rocker Dropper only gets two. Awesome finish with counters. Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Big E drops Daniel Bryan with his finisher.

Tensai the dancing monkey is supposed to take on another dancing monkey, Fandango. This gimmick may be growing on me. GI Joe: Retaliation preview looks pretty cool.

Team Rhodes Scholars does a good mock of the New Age Outlaws introduction. People still love the original and will continue to love shouting “Suck it!” Brock Lesnar comes out. Billy Gunn tries to take the fight to him but fails. Good way to get him some heat. Paul Heyman does a great sell job on the conditions.

Kofi Kingston is fodder for Mark Henry. They show the show downs with Ryback. World’s Strongest Slam. Cody Rhodes hits on Kaitlyn but Damien Sandow brings back the Bellas. Holy smokes. You ladies aren’t the answer to anything. Vickie puts them in a match with Sheamus & Randy Orton. Ryback is out next. The sacrificial lamb is introduced after the Psych preview. I hope it doesn’t suck as much as the show Cena was in.

Heath Slater gets the nod. Good choice in the selling department even if we’ve seen it before. Henry watches from the ramp. Shell Shock. Drew McIntyre gets the same treatment. Henry walks into the ring and slams McIntyre. Shell Shock. Slam.

Alberto Del Rio takes on Antonio Cesaro. Del Rio cuts a cheese-tastic inset promo. Cesaro is starting to seem like Dolph Ziggler part 2. They keep putting him into good matches but he keeps losing but they clearly like him. Cross Arm Breaker submission for Del Rio. Kane loves his father’s ashes.

I’m glad they could give us more recap on John Cena & the Rock. More replays, of Brock Lesnar now. Sheamus gets the big introduction. Randy Orton came in before the Lesnar replay. WWE App still has more real content than the TV product. Randy Orton gets the hot tag though. T-Bone suplex out of Orton. Good for him. Not really a hot tag. Time for him to sell for their team. We may get a commercial break. Nope, Sheamus got the hot tag for reals. Rhodes takes the RKO so that both the good guys can do their finishers. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Sandow for the win.

The WWE App has even more real content instead of the TV show. The Shield attacked Orton & Sheamus. Chris Jericho tells us more movie footage because it is more important than TV product too. Wade Barrett gives us more movie footage. The Miz gives his same schtick. Jericho shows him how to stay somewhat fresh. The Miz and Jericho are going to fight to get a crack at Barrett. Wade is on the headset when they return. The old toss your opponent into the guy on the head set trick rears it’s ugly head. Is this what Jericho gets for Wrestlemania?

I FF thru Zeb Colter’s promo because I’m tired of it already. Jack Swagger gets Sin Cara to tap out easily. Alberto Del Rio comes to his rescue. More movie stuff. This time with Halle Berry. David Otunga grew his goat back. He gave her phone number to Kane. He kills again. I’m not sure how they talked her into that one. Or the movie.

They are not leaving much time for CM Punk vs Kane. I got 10 minutes by my DVR. They take a commercial break at 11:05. What a bunch of douches. They come back with 2 minutes left on my DVR. Fuck these guys. -Kevin

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