Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Preview Part III

Hell-no-Wonder Woman

Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

Tag Team Champions Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) defending against Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston: Daniel Bryan & Kane were brilliant. I still love some of Kane’s reactions but I feel like their schtick has run it’s course. My boy Dolph Ziggler continues to hang onto that briefcase. I could only hope this match is early on in the card for him to cash it in. Big E Langston is a wild card for me. I haven’t watched NXT online so I’ve got no idea how his in ring work is. The other three are very good so the match quality depends on Langston. Since Kaitlyn isn’t on the card with the Diva’s Title on the line, she almost surely will join Team Hell No at ring side to offset AJ Lee. The reason I put this one in the bad match area is because the finish seems inevitable. Prediction: Team Hell No wins because Dolph isn’t going to tag full time with Big E.

Good Match

HHH vs Brock Lesnar: The build up for this match has been fairly anticlimactic. I didn’t record HHH beating the hell out of Paul Heyman because I didn’t care what the stipulation was. It did raise an eyebrow when I found out that it was a retirement clause. I like the prospect of not seeing HHH in the ring again. He does look like he’s trained really hard to cut out the usual marriage fat he’s been carrying. Does that mean he wants to go out looking good? I sure hope so. It does mean we should expect a good brawl. But then there’s the chance that he decides to beat Brock Lesnar. Brock may not need the win but it’d finally make up for the mistake of having him lose right off the bat to John Cena. I know Brock won’t be around much and he is easily sold because of his credentials so he doesn’t need the win. Predicition: HHH makes it official that Wrestlemania is the place to retire.

Maxine someoneorother has left NXT

What the hell is going on with women in wrestling? Angelina Love is out of TNA and mere days before that Maxine announced that she is leaving NXT. I would say WWE but let’s be honest here. She had , um, one match on actual WWE programming?

Yup, according to Prowrestling.net she finally was granted her release and made a point of saying she isn’t going to another company. In case you were wondering of course.

This is the place where I am supposed to do research and give some background on her but who the fuck cares? No really. Another cookie cutter woman is leaving WWE, ok I relented and gave her WWE, so what’s the big deal. There is nowhere for her to go other than TNA, Wash rinse repeat.

So good luck, whatever.  -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio Show #179

As you may have noticed, Kevin attended WWE Smackdown this past Tuesday. You’re in luck because Eric was around to talk to him about the experience. What information did Kevin withhold about the crowd surrounding him? Was it the same motley crew or was there something different? Did Kevin unleash his bran filled stomach on these people? Eric wondered if anyone from NXT or Superstars so eye catching that they should be on TV. What are Kevin’s superficial reason to see Derrick Bateman and Kaitlyn on TV? They move on to talk about Lilian Garcia and a certain horse faced star in TNA. Did the Peep Show do a good job in helping to move along the storyline between John Laurinitis and Teddy Long? Is Daniel Bryan doing a good job of developing his character? Who didn’t see the match between Cody Rhodes and the Great Khali coming miles away? Hint, not either of your hosts. Did the WWE use their archive to make the feud with Randy Orton and Kane make more sense? Which segments to Eric & Kevin pretty much ignore? Did the final segment work? Did it help keep the Smackdown superstars as its’ main focus? Eric asks Kevin for some final thoughts when Kevin prods Eric into a nasty response. Find out what that and more when you click on the link below.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #179

Stunt Granny Audio #164- Jeremy goes to Smackdown

Attendance wasn't this bad but it was close.

Yup that’s right two shows in one week. Don’t get used to it since this is pretty much a special edition. Kevin asks Jeremy a bunch of questions about the Smackdown tapings at the Bi-Lo Center in glorious Greenville, SC. What stood out the most? Was it the disinterest from the production crew? Could it be the copious amount of children? Does Jeremy consider children a plague? They actually talk some of the wrestling but then it eventually devolves back in to on site observations. Does trash drive? If so what does it drive? If it rides in a garbage truck is it being chauffeured? All this and more so make sure and listen.

Stunt Granny Show #164

Stunt Granny Big 11, Week Ending 9/17/2011

1. Claudio Castagnoli - All signs point to Claudio finally signing (well, re-signing, after one failed attempt) with WWE. Various reports have him heading to Florida Championship Wrestling under the name Antonio Cesaro. Other reports have me heading to Olive Garden to order the antonio cesaro with a breadstick, but whatever. Good move by all parties. – Eric
2. Hulk Hogan - Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling debuted this week on TruTV. I didn’t watch it, I don’t think the other SG guys did… I don’t think anybody did. If this even appears on the Nielsen ratings, I bet it’s a… SMALL number!!! Christ, get me out of here… - Eric
3. Matt Hardy - OK, let’s face it, it’s impossible to fill this up with 12 things if you don’t mention the literal white elephant in the room. (You’d think with all the drugs he does, he’d be skinnier, right?) Days after calling people out for being mean to him based on his personal choices (which he freely Tweets about and also which become a matter of public record because he’s a danger to others), he gets arrested for another DWI, this time in an airport. And then he claimed he was framed. By cops who have a vendetta against him. Wow. Not sure where the radiation came from that’s killed his brain, his antique North Carolinian computer monitor he sits in front of all day, or the microwave that nukes his daily 12-Hot Pocket lunch. - Eric
4. The Rock - He is flaunting the idea that he and John Cena will meet for the first time at Survivor Series. In other words a year was too long to wait for the first ever match up so let’s hype it all in two months. Long term planning be damned – Jeremy
5. Night of Champions - Why hasn’t the question been brought up more - neither Triple H nor CM Punk are champions. Why are they on this card? – Jeremy

6. Ric Flair/Sting - Really, this writes itself. They main event an episode of Impact Wrestling and it was a barn burner. It encompassed everything wrong with TNA. One guy can’t go and the other is bored but won’t retire. You figure out which is which. - Jeremy

7. Alex Riley – This is fake, but I don’t really give a flip:

I believe WWE is still presenting this as if it’s Riley official Twitter page, and therefore this gives me carte blanche to pretend this is a real news story. – Dusty

8. Teddy Hart – We’re talking new wrestling with keys to unlock weapons, robotic turnbuckles that can adjust the height, skateboarders, dogs running interference, etc. We’re talking about http://www.fightnetwork.com/news/wrestling/john-pollock-wai-ting-chat-w-teddy-hart/. We’re talking about Persian cats being the best cats the cat world can possibly offer. – Dusty

9. Bill Watts – So apparently he sucked a guy off once?

…Certainly, the sins above mentioned, we cannot overlook in our “judgmental pride” of being heterosexual—and I personally have been so guilty of them, and in my depravity of these abominations have so grieved the Spirit of God as I transgressed in them—–including even foolish, but not innocent homosexual experiences (not that I ever participated in committing a homosexual act myself, or even any homosexual touching, or being touched, or have even entertained any homosexual feelings—-but allowed myself to be orally gratified—-and that strictly one person’s oral stimulation only, by this homosexual at one point in my life)—-in my youth, as I reached that age of puberty, and hormonal rages, and sexual exploration——and worse, even allowing myself to be gratified by this homosexual for financial reward—–as many of us “young athletes did” (and I’m also speaking here of some of these athletes who became real stars in their sports, so we are not talking about “just ordinary people”—–or ignorant, or poverty trapped victims, but some exceptionally gifted athletes)—–as we were preyed upon by this influential and wealthy pervert in our youth——which does not in anyway excuse me in this abomination. (Yes, he also preyed on others, the non-athletes too.)Now, this person who I’m referring to above, was allowed to function in a very influential position by both of the major universities in our state, recruiting young high school athletes to their programs, (and as I have already indicated, many of whom he “gratified” later became stars in their sport—-football, wrestling, baseball, etc.) though these universities were “unaware” of his perversion—-at least initially, or else, they just “looked the other way.” (And, at some various points in time, he was even arrested for his perversion on young boys, but released, and went on as if nothing had happened, and continued in his relationship with these schools too, until the publicity of his activities became too well known.)

But I can tell you, he used that position to feed his desires by orally gratifying many “weak and impressionable,” and “morally weak” young boys and men—–and has continued to integrate himself into situations that would allow him to seduce even more—–for years and years and years now. When last I heard, he was still in charge of promoting youth wrestling in our state’s capital city.

If you consider how many young men and boys this one person practiced his perversion on—–even clear back when it was illegal——-can you imagine now, when we have created a “protected status” for them?!

He also introduced many of us to pornography—–to stimulate us while he indulged himself with us, because we certainly were not stimulated by him. I do not say this to excuse myself for allowing him to gratify me. I am totally responsible for my own actions in this!…

He’s the best booker ever, so I have to believe he did the right thing in this instance. – Dusty
Edit: Since I was a lazy and forgetful bastard, my choices got left off so I’ll add them now.
10. Night of Champions II – I’ve been excited about the recent resurgence of the tag team and to a lesser degree the Women’s division. It just dawned on me though that this could just be a longer term plan to make this pay per view more interesting then both of these divisions will be shuttered much like they have been for the past five years. Why else would the WWE give the main face of the tag team a division a name as terrible as Air Boom? -Kevin

11. Super Shows – I’m glad we have super shows now so that everything good that occurs on Smackdown will be repeated on Raw so that a much larger audience sees them. (That’s sarcasm.) See Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry’s promo from each. I guess it’ll save me time in the future viewing both shows. -Kevin

12. What TNA Did Right This Week – I know I stole this gimmick from Jeremy quite some time ago but I will admit to liking the AJ Styles and Devon promos on Jeff Hardy. It’s a small consolation prize after watching the remainder of the crappy show including the awful finish from the aforementioned Sting vs. Ric Flair travesty. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 8/27/11

1. Matt Hardy - Pointing out that he has made yet another mistake is just getting old.  Can he please do something that proves us wrong? Crashing your Corvette in to a tree isn’t going to do it. – Jeremy

2. Ken Doane - There has been a Ken Doane sighting, friends. He was announced as another member of The Wrestling Revolution Project. You may remember him, with a groan, as Kenny Dykstra. He should be on par with Dolph Ziggler or The Miz by now but oh well. – Jeremy

3. Todd Grisham - So he was wished a fond farewell by William Regal on NXT. Is this a joke? Grisham is going to ESPN? This has to mean he is covering soccer for the network right? Not sure I can take him seriously as an anchor on Sportscenter. Then again anyone doing Sportscenter is hard to take seriously. - Jeremy

4. Colt Cabana - Colt joins the aforementioned Ken Doane as a) a member of the new Wrestling Revolution project and b) another guy I was going to hire for my wrestling company as soon as I won the lottery. Dammit.- Eric

5. Ric Flair - Man, he got skewered by Grantland.com (and honestly so). The thing is, Flair would probably remove the skewer and try to use it as collateral.- Eric

6. Dr Pepper 10 - Sorry, with Matt Hardy dominating the news, there are very few wrestling-related things to talk about. So I’ll just promote the cool, refreshing taste of Dr Pepper 10; even with only 10 calories, it tastes just as much like regular Dr Pepper as Diet Dr Pepper. *kschkschchhh* *gulp* Ahhhhhhh… - Eric

7. CM Punk vs. Kevin Nash vs. HHH vs. John Laurinitis – Still plenty of speculation going on in this little storyline. I’m digging it. Good old Johnny is the main text sending suspect in my book but I’ll let it play out. It helps that Punk is still killing it on the mic. Bigfoot could give Pipe Bomb plenty of TV time, even more than a championship reign could bring. - Kevin

8. North Carolina Indy Wrestler – Sure, I might be piling on with Matt Hardy news but this dude needs to stop being a chickenshit. NCIW obviously enjoys being invited to the annual Hardy Holiday Party and partaking in the booze and the pills, so to not get himself uninvited he goes anonymous with his letter. Be a man, step up and say who you are. If you know Matt’s friends are enablers, why do you want to go to the parties anyway? - Kevin

9. Rey Mysterio – He’s gone for a while, kids. ACL surgery is going to put him on the shelf for at least six months. Heal up and come back for one last go around before your knees are completely shot. - Kevin

10. Ivory – There is a small island in the Pacific Northwest with a population of around 8,000. One of those 8,000 people is former WWE diva Ivory. Every year at the county fair they have what is called “Trashion Fashion,” which is where people use recycled materials to make costumes. This year, Ivory entered the contest. Her costume? Using discarded pet hair to make a poodle costume. You can watch video of this here (http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/sanjuans/jsj/entertainment/128023363.html). So if you’ve never met a furry, now you can say that you have. – Dusty

11. Hulk Hogan - He apparently still hates Vince Russo after all these years:

Apparently at the last PPV, when Hogan found out what the finish was for Sting vs. Angle, he blew his stack and cut a promo on Russo saying that he didn’t know anything about wrestling because he was never a wrestler. As if you were a wrestler it makes you immune from not getting how to book wrestling . And if you weren’t, it immediately drains your IQ to where you think the only guy in wrestling who makes sense and knows what they’re talking about is Ultimate Warrior. Well, given that most who watched the show had the same reaction as Hogan, groaning over the finish, it has nothing to do with being a wrestler. But at TV, they were back to at least giving the idea whatever heat was gone.

I hope you can get past just how awful Dave’s writing was there. In any event, as someone on a message board pointed out about this, I wonder what Hulk thinks of Eric Bischoff and Dixie Carter. Also, you’d think he could use his stroke to push Russo out of the company. It’s almost like he’s full of shit or something. But… that… can’t… be… – Dusty

WWE Says Goodbye to Michael tarver

According to Prowrestling.net Michael Tarver was released by WWE over the weekend. Some other wrestlers were released as well but the only one that matters is Tarver. He was pretty bad to start NXT but came along fine when given the chance to talk. After the Cena angle where he removed members of NXT it was clear there was no room for him. Sure he showed up very once in a while backstage but it never amounted to anything. Not sure where a guy like this goes. HE was never given a chance to show his potential nor his weaknesses. Suppose you could say this is a head scratcher as he was never given a real moment for success. But he is a former WWE Superstar so someone in TNA must be jacking it to this news. -Jeremy

Jay Lethal Released By TNA

Fuckin figures.

UPDATE: The news of Jay Lethal’s release came on April 21. According to Wikipedia, Jay Lethal’s birthday is April 21. Burn in hell, TNA.

So Jay Lethal apparently wasn’t good enough for TNA any longer. According to PWInsider via ProWrestling.net, TNA has released the former X-Division champion. Of course he will be better remembered for his stint as a Macho Man tribute act.  So, what to make of this?

Really, it is TNA so who cares but Lethal is a young guy that has plenty of years ahead. He should have been valuable to TNA but he isn’t Eric Young, Rob Terry, Orlando Jordan, Abyss, Crimson or one of those easily confusable jackass security guys.

Releasing Lethal, regardless of if he asked for it or not, speaks to the bigger problem with TNA; they have no clue how to utilize their talent. Sure Lethal will never be a main event player but he is young and has the talent to make for a compelling mid-card act. He could have been a staple of their X-Divison but it is clear they don’t care about that. He could have been a player for the television title but there are no clearly defined rules for that belt anyway so it wouldn’t have mattered actually.

Here is the one idea no one will mention; WWE needs to get him on the next season of Tough Enough. No not developmental or NXT, they need to get him on television in a controlled environment and see if they can mold a personality for him. See if he sticks. If he wins it, great, if not, nothing lost and he can go to ROH or Japan.  -Jeremy

WrestleMania 27 Preview #5- Edge vs Alberto Del Rio

Alright we are continuing on and this time we talk some WWE World Heavyweight Championship match. Who do the guys predict to come out with the title? Does this match have the chance of being a standout match on the card or a giant cluster?  Who impresses the most between Alberto Del Rio and Edge? Why didn’t Christian get included in the match? Oh and just who the hell won NXT this past season?

WrestleMania 27 Preview #5- Edge vs Alberto Del Rio

Past WrestleMania 27 Preview Audios
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Randy Orton vs. CM Punk
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes
The Two Matches To Get People Bonus Money

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 3/12/11

1. JBL – With his awesome promo, his inside jokes about bullying, and his general awesome heel demeanor, JBL stole the show on Monday Night Raw. That is until…

2. Steve Austin – … Stone Cold stole the show with his usual good-time, beer-swillin’, cameraman-chasin’ antics. That is until…
3. Michael Cole – … Michael Cole stole the show with his pouty, chickenshit, unfit-to-headline heel-character fit at the top of the stage. That is until…
4. The Miz – … the Miz stole the show with his pitch-perfect promo at the end of the night. I would love to see him slap the Rock across the face one of these days to show him who’s boss around here. - Eric

5. Brodus Clay – The guy may not have won NXT (or at least that’s what I read) but he certainly appears to have won because he’s made TV appearances on Raw & Smackdown this week. Del Rio could use an enforcer so Brodus may have found a permanent spot for himself. - Kevin

6. Women’s Wrestling in the WWE – I can’t fully get into my thoughts in this list but it needed to be mentioned. I have no idea why the WWE continues to feature women’s wrestling if they’re going to shit on it. Any other program would take off something they don’t like. Look at Two & a Half Men. Charlie Sheen #Losing! - Kevin

7. Victory Road – I watched TNA this week, as I do most weeks, and even tweeted about the show a couple of times. When I was trying to think of topics to put in the Big 11, I had forgotten in less than 24 hours that TNA had a pay per view this week. That’s how piss poor their go home show was on Thursday. - Kevin

8. Kurt Angle – He had an interview in the UK Sun. Among the topics he touched were that he doesn’t like Jeff Jarrett personally (Duh, he’s fucking your ex-wife. I hate the prick that’s doing the same to mine and I don’t have to work with him.) but respects him as wrestler (You’re an idiot). Angle is happy with the product  so he won’t go back to the WWE. The whipped cream and cherry to this interview is that he’ll retire in TNA because he’s very excited with their product (The King of the White Trash is excited for the White Trash of the wrestling landscape, go figure). - Kevin

9. Microphones- TNA has too many of them. Of course it may be that they have about four but they continue to give them to the wrong people. Impact this week just had too many people yapping about brainless and stupid shit. Yes this is par the course but it just seemed more annoying this week. -Jeremy

10. The Miz- He reminded us all just how stupid The People’s Elbow really is . Seeing someone else do the move does make you appreciate what The Rock does.  -Jeremy

11. Kevin Nash- Just when you thought he couldn’t bilk the fans for more money he does it again. Ok, maybe not bilk but he sure knows how to make money. They guy is having a private party and inviting fans to attend? Sweet Jesus, where do we sign up? Imagine all the creepy goodness that could come of this. Or it could be a total disaster.  -Jeremy

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