Stunt Granny Audio #213

Posted on January 12, 2013 by stuntgranny

Fat-Kid

Well better late than never right? It is Stunt Granny Audio Show #213 and it is a very special one at that. Eric makes his return and talks a bunch. Yup. What has he been up to? What is vaginitis? Who in the house has it? The answers will shock and amaze or not. It depends on how easily impressed you are really. There is some actual wrestling talk as Eric and Jeremy discuss, oh sorry this is The Asshole Edition, CM Punks promo, the return of The Rock and the upcoming Raw 20th Anniversary show. They even manage to talk about Alberto Del Rio winning the World Title on Smackdown with a sprinkle of “How dumb is Billy Graham.” There is more but you have to listen to find out. So get to downloading.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #213

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(Smackdown spoiler, stop reading) Randy Orton injury angle gives fragile underachiever more time off

Posted on December 12, 2012 by stuntgranny
This look about sums it up.

This look about sums it up.

According to Prowrestling.net, this Tuesday’s WWE Smackdown taping featured an injury angle with Randy Orton being put through a table by the Shield. The angle is playing up a “separated shoulder” and “concussion,” the latter of which only adds to Orton’s disinterested, glossed-over, Gen-Y, emotionless facial “expressions.”

The angle is to cover for a legitimate injury Orton sustained at the WWE Tribute to the Troops tapings last week. Jesus, who is this guy, Kurt Angle Kevin Nash? Every time you turn around, Orton has a concussion or banged-up knee or a pill in his mouth (oops). He’s spent less time on TV in the past six months than Alicia Fox, and quite frankly, Alicia has been more entertaining.

What would be accomplished if WWE, as Dusty says, cut ties with this piece of garbage? Well, WWE will have divested itself of a long-term contract that isn’t paying off; WWE would be enticing TNA to shell out gobs of money in exchange for a half-assed talent who won’t draw or elevate the brand; and WWE would be forced to push a new main event babyface from the large pool of undeniable midcard tal… ent… wait. -Eric

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Amy Weber Nude, Iowa vs Michigan, Knee Injury & Hurricane Sandy Aftermath

Posted on November 2, 2012 by stuntgranny

I couldn’t find the real deal so I borrowed from TMZ permanently.

According to TMZ, Amy Weber has released nude photos because her lap top was stolen. They were from a Playboy shoot that never made it into the sticky pages under my mattress. You might remember her from her role in JBL’s Cabinet. I had to look it up on Wikipedia to make sure one of my Sippy Time Beers hadn’t dislodged a memory of an average WWE Diva.

According to Derrick Bateman’s Twitter (by way of Prowrestling.net) he is out for an undisclosed amount of time because of another knee surgery. I bring him up because he was signed away from then Pro Wrestling Ohio about five years ago. I haven’t seen him much so I won’t critique his work but isn’t five years enough to know if a guy will cut it or not in the WWE? I know it takes a while to learn the ropes but the time frame seems like plenty. If only the WWE had enough TV time to find a spot for him when he got healthy.

Master thief Joel Luke pleaded guilty to fifth degree theft for swiping the TNA Title and thus bringing great shame to the state of Iowa. He will get two years of probation. If only he could have waited for TNA’s next trip through the state for such an opportunity. He could have stolen the new Jeff Hardy Belt and done all wrestling fans around the country a favor. Yes, even those fans that clearly spend money only on Munchos and Cheez Whiz with backpacks full of Faygo but still have enough government assistance left over to drive to Orlando from Michigan just to see that garbage company.

For those of you concerned about your Friday viewing habits because of NBC’s coverage of a Superstorm Sandy benefit concert, don’t worry, be happy. As of now, you can watch replays of one third of Raw and an hour of Smackdown starting at it’s regularly scheduled 8 PM time slot. -Kevin

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Smackdown

Posted on October 12, 2012 by stuntgranny

From theChive.com

Tonight feels like an “Old School” night even if that only means going back six months. I’m sitting here in my condo by myself not doing a whole lot of anything on a Friday night except watching wrestling. I have a review in the dashboard ready for posting about Grand Canyon University which is the location of TNA’s Bound For Glory. I just watched Impact Live and have a nice slew of Tweets to prove it (Hint: @Stuntgranny). Now it’s time for Smackdown. Such is my life.

Good opening segment with Big Show, Sheamus and Booker T. I like doing something to further the feud without have a physical confrontation. Even though they created the artificial buzz for the WMD vs the Brogue Kick. Nice to keep Sheamus occupied with Tensai to keep him away from Show and to finish their match from last week. Too bad Tensai is going to take another loss.

They did not waste any time going with the rematch after the break. I liked Sheamus pacing like a caged animal. Josh Matthews corrects me and says that Sheamus Brogue Kicked Tensai during his match with Big Show last week. Whoops. JBL is doing a great sales job again on Tensai. I have liked his in ring work more recently. Too bad the WWE keeps having him job to high ranking guys. Brogue Kick for the win. Nothing special but Alberto Del Rio bossing around Ricardo Rodrigeuz may have been his best mic work in the WWE.

Ricardo is looking for Randy Orton when he runs into Santino Marella. Ricardo sold that but that was Santino’s best work in a while. Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal are teaming but they get some mic time first. Oh my lord, they’re doing group air guitar now. They didn’t really say why they were together but Mahal hinted at it. The WWE 13 commercial with CM Punk may have robbed a lot of work from Hitler, but it came out cool. It fits Punk’s earlier character.

(more…)

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News I Missed Without Power

Posted on July 5, 2012 by stuntgranny

Why have we invented fireworks that turn into dragons yet?

Since I only gained my power at 2:30 AM July 5th, I want to wish everyone a belated Fourth of July. We usually have some dumb post up for every holiday. This post is what you’re getting since everyone else on staff evidently didn’t have power either.

According to Prowrestling.net, Shannon Moore was granted his request to be let go by TNA. Both halves of Ink Inc. are officially gone from the company. We can hope that the brain trust over at TNA gets to cutting more fat off of their roster. I don’t mean making Samoa Joe go to the gym either.

In other news that won’t shock anyone, Bret Hart will take part in the 1000th Raw in a couple of weeks. The WWE will crow about how big the ratings are then us super fans will bitch because it was all because of the old stars and not the WWE building up new stars. Both sides will be right. The following week on episode 1001, we’ll get multiple replays of the old timers squashing Heath Slater and doing other stuff they shouldn’t be able to accomplish at their advanced ages because I’m stuck in three hour Raw hell.

Zack Ryder won a Battle Royal on Smackdown to become the General Manager for Raw and Smackdown for this coming week. I can only hope this kick starts his character all over. The crowd pretty much forgot about him after his initial push which didn’t last long enough in my opinion. Now if only the Board of Directors could decide on a GM quicker than Zach Parise and Ryan Suter chose an NHL team, we could stop using this GM crutch to get people over. -Kevin

 

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Randy Orton suspended for 60 days

Posted on May 30, 2012 by stuntgranny

Career murder was the case that they gave me…

Word going round the internet water cooler is that Orton just recently suffered his second drug test violation and is therefore suspended for 60 days. It is seriously time for WWE to cut ties with this piece of garbage. WWE is a professional company, they can’t be dealing with childish douchebags like this. They should just send him over to TNA now. Maybe they’d be able to get Bully Ray in a trade situation or something. Regardless, it’s just time for him to let bygones be bygones and go on and get the hell on. – Dusty

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@WWE Roster Game Special

Posted on May 23, 2012 by stuntgranny

The choices weren’t always easy.

This is a very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio, folks, because in this one Eric, Kevin and Dusty join forces to play the illustrious WWE Roster Game! For those not familiar, this is the game where the Stunt Granny-ites go to the roster page on WWE.com and pare the roster down, with the logic being they would be operating a weekly two hour show every week and they can fill their roster however they see fit in order to have the best company possible and make the most money possible. Because WWE.com changed their roster page format, this time the guys have 18 lines of 5 wrestlers each to pick from, and they pick 2 wrestlers from each line, for a total of 36 pieces of talent. Who do they keep? Who do they kick to the curb? Which were the easiest choices? Who were the most agonizing omissions? How many e’s does Justin Roberts put in Mr Cena’s first name? For all these answers and more, you can only find out by listening, so for god’s sake do it.

Stunt Granny Audio Show WWE Roster Game 2012

Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts, WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Stunt Granny Audio #186

Posted on May 23, 2012 by stuntgranny

Gerald Ford preparing to listen to the audio.

Oh happy days! It’s time for another audio, once again manned by Kevin and Dusty. This time they openly disregard the merits of talking about Monday Night Raw. So what do they find worthy of discussion? Well, they talk in depth about Monday Night Raw’s ratings and how they compare to other shows throughout the week. They also talk about WWE’s bizarre fascination with Twitter and fan interaction, why it exists and how significant is it really. Why is Daniel Bryan getting pushed so hard when he seemingly fits into none of the brackets WWE typically likes their pushed wrestlers to fill? And why is he being pushed over guys like Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler? Is John Cena secretly the puppet master behind the scenes? And how many early season Saturday Night Live references can Dusty slip into the show? You’re going to have to listen to find out, and it’s only going to cost you about 40 minutes of your life, so do it now!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #186

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Vince wanted Kane to have a three foot penis

Posted on May 20, 2012 by stuntgranny

There’s a monster in my pants and it does a naughty dance, when it sees the light of day it makes all the people say…

From former writer and current idiot Dan Madigan:

“I get a call from Gregory Dark, the director. He says, “We’ve got a little problem here.” This call is from Australia. I said, “What’s the problem?” He goes, “Vince has a suggestion about the movie.” I said, “Well, it’s his movie.” He goes, “Vince wants this scene in the movie where Kane’s character pulls out his penis, and he wants it to be three feet long.” I thought there was a connection problem, I said “Greg, can you just back up and repeat that last line for me?” He goes, “Yes, Vince wants Kane’s penis to be three feet long, and none of the producers are saying anything about it.” So I sat there, I go, “Oh, this is not good. This is not good. This is really not good.” In the right movie, that’s genius, that’s absolutely brilliant, but not for this movie.”

You know what? And I’m being 100 percent serious here. If your boss wants something, you fucking give it to them. The correct response to that request sure as fuck wasn’t, “Oh golly gosh, this is not good!” The correct response was, “Hey Vince, why not make it four!” Because Vince is a weird guy and you have to know that going in, and it sure as shit didn’t stop you from taking the job in the first place, so if you want to be employed by him so bad, then you do what the fuck he says Dan Madigan. You make his penis three feet long if that’s what he wants. The guy is a billionaire. He has earned the right to be completely insane and you haven’t. So shut the fuck up. – Dusty

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Good God The Bellas are leaving?

Posted on April 10, 2012 by stuntgranny

This first broke on Diva-dirt.com and now has the principal players backing off but boy this sure seems like a done deal. The Bellas are leaving WWE, there it has been said and no further conjecture needed? Wait, well maybe not but then it is The Bellas. Can WWE afford to lose these 6’s?

So the story goes that they are letting their contracts run out at the end of April. WWE has made no effort to resign them nor should they. They are a dime a dozen as far as brunettes go. Also, with WWE’s no nudity policy in place why bother having the women on the roster to begin with? Outside of the incredible representation they were afforded at WrestleMania 28 name a significant WWE Diva moment and Khrama in The Royal Rumble doesn’t count.

The best part of this story is the back and forth on the accountability. They booked a manager for their upcoming appearances and he was doing his job by getting the word out. Then they don’t; like that and he offers a retraction of sorts citing he did not have “all the correct information.” This is clearly code for “you dumb mother fucker how dare you do your job and ruin the last month of our employment with WWE? Have you no sense of history? We are going to most likely get publicly embarrassed on national television for three weeks now. “  -Jeremy

Filed under: WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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