Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Posted on September 17, 2012 by stuntgranny

After reading the results for Ring of Honor’s iPPV, I was wondering if you could tell which of these two guys are tag team champions and which one is the ROH World Champion? I’m also wrapping up this past week’s edition of #WatchROH and they’re showing parts of the Eddie Kingston vs. Kevin Steen. Are they trying to say “Hey, if you don’t want to work out and are average at best in the ring, you too can get a shot at our title?” What a dreadful product. Even if they come here, I’m not spending money on those fools. I did spend money on the WWE this past week though. Luckily I have PSL tickets for the Columbus Bluejackets (Well if they have a season) so I got a nice little deal on the expensive seats. I’m happy to be giving these fools as little of my money as possible. Time for Raw. Let’s roll.

Paul Heyman comes out to explain the finish of last night’s main event between CM Punk and John Cena. The dog and pony show even includes Chad Patton, our ref. Gasp, the horror. They mentioned an official. You should never do that. they never mention the refs at NFL games, especially this year with replacement refs. Cena comes out to talk. Glad Cena can recycle an old shirt by slapping a new slogan and color on it. After Cena cuts a good promo, Alberto Del Rio comes out to suck the air out of the building. Now he’s the man that never lies. That isn’t going to help your character. AJ Lee makes a tag team main event with the participants from the main events last night.

Jerry Lawler gets to Tout along with having some home coming to Memphis footage later. JBL makes his big entrance to not much reaction. Jim Ross joins them too and gets a real reaction. Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara are in a tag team match again. Five seconds into their match against Epico & Primo with her hotness Rosa Mendes. I miss JR less than a minute after the break. Sin Cara nails the Swanton Bomb for the win. The WWE is doing their best to get Sin Cara into a place to foster his confidence. Darren Young & Titus O’Neil attack them from behind. O’Neil making a solid point but they need something more. We get the rematch no one wanted from Night of Champions with the tag titles back up for grabs.

Layla El is in the announce booth as Beth Phoenix waits to take on the new Diva’s Champion Eve Torres. Layla is finally smelling what Eve is cooking. Beth continues to be a jobber. JBL is off a little bit but making a nice “Go get ‘em” speech.

Antonio Cesaro is down in the announce booth. I buzzed thru the Funkasaurus‘s entrance. The five different language thing is stupid. Heath Slater takes advantage of the Cesaro distraction but only gets two. Head butt then splash for the win. Cesaro didn’t make a good impression with his time as JR would say.

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Filed under: WWE News, Kevin's Blog, TV Recaps | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Top 15 Pro Wrestler Commercials for Non-Wrestling Stuff

Posted on July 5, 2012 by stuntgranny

In honor of Rent-a-Center’s earth-shattering sweepstakes to meet Hulk Hogan and Troy Aikman, we thought we’d compile a list of the top 10 TV commercials starring professional wrestlers that weren’t for a professional wrestling product. These larger-than-life figures explode onto the TV screen with such abandon and fervor, such charisma and passion, that how could you *not* buy a pizza from them?

Let’s stick with the Hulkster, who hawked Right Guard in 1991 with the savoir faire of Robert Goulet and the acting chops of Mr. Belvedere. Starting this list off with anything less would be uncivilized!

Wrestlers seem to end up in commercials for food quite often. What was I saying about pizza and gargling copious amount of pills? Oh yeah, here’s Kurt Angle, following his 1996 Olympic gold medal win, ready to chow down on some Pizza Outlet:

Wow, wrestlers and pizza go together like, um, wrestling fans and bigger pizzas. Pizza Inn cashed in on the popularity of the Von Erichs in Texas in the early 1980s, but really, who in the hell is going to believe that 170-pound Mike Von Erich taught his brothers, ripped-ass Kevin and blown-up Kerry, anything about eating?

Keeping in the realm of food, I don’t have five minutes nor two scoops of Kellogg’s Eat Shit & Die for Mick Foley, but I do remember this Chef Boyardee commercial starring The Rock, pre-Hollywood but well into his puffy Nation of Domination days. Hell of a shirt, Rock; don’t date yourself too much or you might get chaffed:

Honorable mention: And because superstars’ shuckin’ and jivin’ doesn’t stop at the front door of Titan Tower, here’s Booker T and his big fat momma, eatin’ up all tha food:

I swear to sonny Jesus, this commercial with Andre the Giant made me want to try Honey Comb, and thus allowed me to become a fat shit for the first 28 years of my life:

John Cena, the face of WWE and hero to millions of children everywhere, can’t resist that double meat? Tell me he didn’t just say that!

And in the locally sold booze category: If I were you, Chicago Lake Liquors, I’d give Mad Dog Vachon a coffee break:

Of course, this wouldn’t be a discussion about great commercials with wrestlers if we didn’t include spots for Slim Jim! Here’s one with Macho Man Randy Savage and some teenagers, blowing things up Beavis and Butthead style:

And one with Ultimate Warrior and some more explosions (never let it be said that Slim Jim doesn’t understand its market; I still nice “Niiiice, antique!” every time I see a plastic chair):

More drinks: Man, the NWA/WCW got the short end of the advertising stick back in the day; while Hogan, Warrior and Savage were running wild, Rick Steiner was crawling around like a jackass with Roos on his hands:

And if you can’t land Mountain Dew like the WWF, get your first fattest babyface to drink the second-best thing!

Geez, I guess wrestlers and soda go together like wrestling fans and pizza and soda. Now here’s an idea I can get behind: Sting + population control, thanks to Sprite:

And now TNA is making deals with shitty auto insurance companies, because who better to hawk insurance you can finally pay for than wrestlers who only make $300 a week:

And finally, because we all go to our grandpa for weightlifting advice (“Back in my day, we punched a potato sack until our knuckles bled like stuck pigs! We put our polio-crippled brother on a rope and we dragged him 2 miles!”), here’s Ric Flair’s latest venture into advertising, for Fuel in a Bottle:

Oh, wait, we can’t talk about Ric Flair and TV commercials without posting Bruce Mitchell’s two favorite things in the whole world, wooin’ like Ric Flair and scratchin’ them lottery tickets:

Wow, 15 greats plus an honorable mention. Did we miss anything? Post them in a comment below!

Filed under: Misc. News, TNA News, WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Stunt Granny Audio Show #151 part 2

Posted on August 18, 2011 by stuntgranny

No recording problems this time aside from the fact that we couldn’t quite capture the magic from that portion of the show we skipped out on last night. No need to fear though as the dastardly duo of Jeremy and Kevin make up for it by remembering to talk about Miz selling Subway better than Jared ever could and Zack Ryder and his character’s translation to TV. They talked about the main event picture on Raw and how there seem to be more options than in a long time even with Rey Mysterio’s knee injury that will shelf him for a while. They explain how potty talk can be used for emphasis by none of than pure bred baby face John Cena. Enjoy part two more than part one by clicking on the link below.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #151 part 2

Filed under: Audio Updates, Podcasts | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Posted on August 15, 2011 by stuntgranny

Yep, something like this is going to be hitting my hands this week.

So, I’m pumped. This is the last review I will be doing from this computer. I done ordered myself a new lap top because, as I type this, my screen is basically a big blur. Not a way to make this site great. I’d also like to note that it is now it is 10:54 and I turned my computer on at 10:05 PM EST. It is time for an upgrade. We’re talking about adding video content. We’re talking about a lot of things, which is bad ass. As for Jeremy, I’m amused he noted I was trying to get a woman tonight. Keep up with us on Twitter (@Stuntgranny) for additional content as always. It’d be bad ass if I could pull off roller derby girl. Cool cat. Enough about me and the site, on to the review.

Picture pages, picture pages, Nash joked at the Meet & Greet about being HHH’s body guard. We’ll see if it’s true soon enough. I hope he was paid by Del Rio. We get an apology. Del Rio should have cashed it in no matter who won so the mistake was moot in my book. Nash is invited to Raw. Cheap pop HHH. Del Rio gets shoved down our throat more. I can’t wait for his free fall. The belt has really played hot potato recently. I can’t believe that hasn’t been a hot internet topic. Del Rio just feeding the crowd and he finally clubs them like a baby seal. Come on, you know it was coming. I was not impressed.

We get R Truth against John Morrison, again. Thanks for beating this feud into the ground already. Watching this match reminded me that I was watching American Ninja Warrior this weekend. I don’t watch it all the time, but their obstacle courses are awesome and the parkour people love them.

Truth is almost too popular again. His act is so much better though. I didn’t buy a ringside ticket for when Raw hits Columbus in September. I doubt a Falls Counts Anywhere match will pop up again. When was the last time the Raw GM podium was used? I have no idea. The suplexing of Truth into a soft seat was ridiculous. Solid knee to finish him off though.

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Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TV Recaps, WWE News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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