You can file this under, “Wait, she’s still alive?” Joanie Lauer, or as the rest of us know her, Chyna, was taken to the hospital Saturday morning after her “alcohol did not mix well with her prescription meds” according to TMZ. You know, the bastion of all things proper and right with news.

The best part about this story is that she was too drunk to even pass a pysch evaluation. I’ve had plenty of those moments but they usually end by chasing Kevin down the desolate and dirty streets of Columbus as he peels off his clothing. It’s never a pretty site.

Back to not so pretty sites, PWInsider is reporting that this may have been a suicide attempt on her part. If so, well, this isn’t an “attempt” it’s a cry for attention. If she wanted to off herself there is one sure fire way of doing so. Shoot yourself in the head. But then, there are the instances where people survive and are horribly deformed afterward. So, did Chyna already try shooting herself? I mean look at that monstrosity. What the fuck happened to her face? It’s like a dog chewed on her lips for a few hours and then pissed bleach in her face? -Jeremy