So long, Barry, we lardly knew ye.

(This is kinda old news, but) According to PWInsider.com (by way of Prowrestling.net), WWE recently released road agent/leech Barry Windham. As of that original post, no reason had been given for Windham’s dismissal, but Dot Net’s Jason Powell speculated that Windham’s reputation for not going into detail with wrestlers may have been his undoing. So you’re telling me that a guy who got into wrestling on his successful daddy’s coattails and then was lucky enough to ride in Ric Flair’s limo for a while wasn’t pulling his weight? No shit; if I was a young wrestler, I wouldn’t be standing in line to talk to Barry God Damn Windham about the secrets of career advancement and main event ability. I’d be in line behind him in catering counting how many dozen chicken wings he ganks. And before you start, I don’t want to hear about all of Barry Windham’s potential. The only potential this guy ever had was to potentially die of heart failure as he ballooned from his svelte, U.S. Express weight of 240 lbs. to his “we’re gonna swerve people into thinking Hulk Hogan’s coming to WCW early” weight of 310 pounds. And don’t give me that whole “great babyface, surprisingly agile” argument, either. There was another piece of shit redneck with a stringy white mullet by the name of Tommy Rich who was this great regional babyface who may have done a sunset flip once, and he was the NWA Champion for a cup of coffee (and a dozen glazed donuts). The last time you saw his fat ass was in ECW being made a fool out of in the FBI. Barry, pick up some P90X and make something out of yourself before either Windham Rotunda (haha, “Windham” and “Rotund” in the same thought… shocking) grows up without an uncle, or you and Tommy Rich hop on two motor scooters and ride off like those fat guys in the Guinness Book of World Records. God, I’m a dickhead. -Eric