Roddy Piper arrested for DUI, out of bubble gum

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According to (via, WWE hall of famer “Rowdy” Roddy Piper was arrested in Hollywood last night for driving under the influence:

Law enforcement sources tell us 55-year-old Roddy, real name Roderick Toombs, was stopped by police at around 1 AM — he was given field sobriety tests and then arrested.

Roddy’s bond is $5,000.

Rumor has it Piper told the police he wanted to call Johnnie Cochran and hoped to get Lance Ito as his judge before making a thousand more old, antiquated jokes. He then said DUI stood for “Don’t Underestimate I,” trying to create another useless acronym the likes of “I.C.O.N.” Police tried to taze Piper, but he had a rubber outfit under his shirt that read “SHOCK PROOF.” Ummm, what else… he said if he was found guilty, he’d quit professional wrestling, professional boxing, tiddlywinks and dating girls. Whatever, let the old bastard have his fun. Besides, have you seen the guy off camera lately? I have, last year at the wrestling hall of fame inductions in Iowa. He’s ALWAYS under the influence. -Eric

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