Sweet christ.

(All of these tidbits are courtesy Prowrestling.net; click the Roman numeral for the original story.)

I. Shaquille O’Neal sure helped Raw’s ratings this week: Raw did a 4.0, up from last week’s 3.5 (with ZZ Fucking Top as the guest hosts). Gee, bring on ZZ Top and hover around the usual number, or bring in someone relevant and pop a big rating. Well, big for 2009. Let’s see if WWE is smart enough to capitalize on this (and if Shaq is smart enough to cash in on this) and get Shaq to wrestle a tag match at Summerslam.

II. ECW did a 1.3 this week in the ratings, similar to TNA’s numbers lately and slightly up from what TNA used to do when Christian was on top there. This confirms one thing: 1.6 million people love Christian.

III. Maryse underwent knee surgery today under the watchful eye of Dr. James Andrews. I wonder if she looks as good lying down. Well, duh.

IV. In a surprise to no one, Elijah Burke has signed with TNA. Da Black Pope tweeted this the other day:

Just went to TheElijahExpress.com to see what all the fuss was about? Everything looks ok to me (I hope my Admin didn’t jump the gun)~ PHS

Yes, your Admin did jump the gun, when he/she posted the TNA logo on your Web site. You’re the Pope, kill him. -Eric