Abortions for all! Booooo! Abortions for none! Boooo! Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others! Yay!

According to basically every news site out there, Linda McMahon has stepped down from being  a wooden statue CEO of WWE in order to pursue a 2010 Senate seat in the great state of Connecticut. She will be running against long time incumbent Christopher Dodd. When asked the basic question of if she was a Republic or a Democrat Linda said, in the most boring tone possible. “Make no mistake: I’m a Republican.” Phew, that clears it up.

You can watch a thrill-ride, heart-pounding video here outlining her plans to defeat that evil bastard Dodd. Notice how Linda avoids any and all use of the WWE or McMahon name. She’s using her “fame” to run for Senate but hiding her famous name to distance herself from her name. Makes sense to me.

Vincent Kennedy McMahon has valiantly stepped in to become the new CEO of WWE. I literally have no idea what this actually means, if anything, to WWE.  I am sure it has to do with something important. I quit caring years ago when I sold my WWE stocks for a delicious sandwich from a nice man in a camper. – Jordan