The Art of Wrestling – Christmas Edition I

I celebrate Christmas. Have a grand old time if you celebrate something else.

It’s the season for giving so I figured it’d be a good time to feature some of the gifts on both TNA and WWE’s websites. I’ll parcel out the mocking so I’m going to start with some of ShopTNA’s deals for the holiday.

One the first day of Christmas, my imaginary love got me one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. This is a great product according to the reviews because it’s heavy and the detailing of the paint. It’s only $19.99 now but the original price was $49.99. If I had any reservations about the quality of something I was ordering, I’d never shuck out that kind of money. As for great “detailing”, I just don’t see how it’s possible. It’s black paint on a white surface, there are no fucking details! I feel like it’s the moron trying to convince me that a white canvas should be hung in the Cleveland Museum of Art. The canvas sucked and so does this Sting Mask.

One the second day of Christmas,  my imaginary love got me two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. I can’t wait to give these bears to my dogs so they can rip out the eyes and take the stuffing out. It’s a parallel to Sting’s career right now because he has glazed over eyes and is empty in the ring. The bear does have more detailing than the mask but I have no idea why it doesn’t have full face paint. It is amusing that the bear has the pussy strip that Sting doesn’t take the time to dye. It is also sporting a t-shirt that isn’t available for sale (not here, not here, not here, not here and not here). Wouldn’t it make sense to copy one of your shirts already made? It might entice the buyer of the bear to get a shirt too. I suppose that makes too much sense.

On the third day of Christmas, my imaginary love got me three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. I think my imaginary love got me three of them because she saved $3 on each one. I can’t figure out why the picture in the advertisement is more about a ring bell than the mask. Thank goodness this toolbag is modeling the piece of garbage Don West is trying to sell. It sure looks like a quality product compared to the one Abyss wears. Why do you buy this mask? For Halloween? To wear it TNA events? Kids are stupid so I suppose they’ll wear anything.

My imaginary love also got me some WWE merchandise but that’ll wait for another post. – Kevin

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