Injury reports: Jackson out 3-6 months, Hardy tears waistband

Ding Dongs

Matt Hardy's favorite post-workout snack, and Zeke's new lifting routine.

WWE recently was stricken with one injury and blessed with another. According to various reports posted at, Ezekiel Jackson fell victim to some sort of leg injury (Jim Ross blogged that he heard it was a quadriceps tear… yowza!) while wrestling Kane at a house show in Glasgow, Scotland. Jackson recently tweeted that he’d be out three to six months, which got me thinking, no one who looks like he could rip a Buick in half should ever be doing anything we simpletons call “tweeting.” That would be like if Zeke just squatted 600 pounds and we said he was “fiddledy doodling.” He would fucking kill us. I still say Zeke could be a WWE main-eventer based on looks alone (how bad-ass would it be to have Zeke, Shad and Hernandez stalking around WWE as a triumverate of monsters once Kane, Mark Henry and Khali are gone?), and because of that, I sincerely hope he takes the next few months to study the game and come back ready to kick ass.

In other news, Fatt Hardy is a big piece of shit and thinks he tore a bicep. What, are those Twinkies getting too heavy for you, fatso? -Eric

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