Stunt Granny Audio #102

This is the thing Matt Striker will pull away from you if you talk for more than three seconds.

It’s the nice guys version of Stunt Granny audio, as Dusty and Kevin take you on a magical journey through Stunt Granny Audio #102! What did our heroes think of the original NXT gang angle from Monday Night Raw? What do they think of the new NXT guys that litter “season two” of the show? And why is it called season two when it’s happening directly after season one, with no stoppage whatsoever? They ponder these questions and more in this historic audio. Was this the worst edition of Raw ever? Why does Dusty hate Matt Striker so much? You’re going to have to listen to find out, and we recommend listening, because finding out is a way cool thing to have happen to you!

Stunt Granny Audio #102

ODB to play role in movie with Angle, Meryl Streep may never work again

ODB

"My voice is all distinguishy and stuff, what?!"

Jeremy pointed this one out to me: According to PWTorch.com, ODB, in a recent interview, explained that her absence from TNA television lately is due to pursuing an interest in Hollywood… and stuff.

“I’m just trying to stay busy. Sometimes you just get bored with some things and there’s so much more I could do. I went to L.A. and got things figured out. Since I have a distinguished voice, I want to use my voice for some stuff. Maybe there will be an ODB cartoon in the future.”

ODB didn’t work the last set of TV tapings in May, leaving her off TV for the past month of Impact episodes. ODB said she will be part of Kurt Angle’s upcoming “Death from Above” movie that begins filming next week. Matt Morgan and Kevin Nash are also scheduled to be part of the movie.

Jeremy didn’t want to post about this, because he couldn’t think of anything mean to say about ODB. Sooooo… *deep breath*

Angle and his TNA cronies absorb ODB into their web of suck… If she does a topless scene, it’ll take two screens to show it… The only reason the white-trash ODB wasn’t tapped to do a movie with Angle earlier is because he had to weed through the black chicks first… The only difference between ODB and Rhaka Khan is that ODB’s movie will end up directly on a shelf at Walmart, whereas Rhaka Khan shops at Walmart… Dixie Carter is pushing all of her wrestlers to audition for movies in hopes of a) increasing exposure for her shitty product and b) launching IMODB.com… Kevin Nash wishes he was still playing Super Shredder… If a projectionist shows a TNA movie in front of the same 600 mutants and no one gives a fuck, is Kurt Angle still a star? -Eric

Matt Hardy is white trash, doesn’t get pro wrestling, loves YouTube

matt mardy douche

Douche.

Jeremy said these don’t deserve a write-up, but I’m going to write things up about each of these. An intro: Thanks to cali at the PWTorch.com VIP Forum, these YouTube videos from Matt Hardy’s YouTube channel have been unveiled. I had already started shaking my head as soon as I read “Matt Hardy” and “YouTube,” since the only thing more synonymous with “Matt Hardy” than “the Internet” is “the Internet while eating Funyuns and drinking Mountain Dew Game Fuel.” He honestly thinks he’s some kind of star on the Internets and that he can use these outlets to further his career. Well, it looks like Hardy took his Flip camera and started booking his own “stalking Drew McIntyre” angle. I remember when I used to do this with my action figures. Ready? I assure you, you’re not.

Good god, I would rather watch Total Domino-tion. In this scarily long video, Hardy rambles on for more than seven minutes about how much he hates Drew McIntyre, to the point that it turns him into a completely different person and that as long as Drew McIntyre is around, Hardy will continue to attack him. Simple, right? He could have said what I just wrote and been done with it in 30 seconds. But ohhh nooo, not Fatt Hardy. He has no restraint. He has no concept of time or interest level. He rattles on about the water and the sky, staying up past his bedtime, getting a hotel room, the news being on TV, the time of day (“Where’s a clock?”), and how McIntyre unearthed “Matthew Hardy,” as though that name is more intimidating. Even *that* would have only taken the thinking man three minutes to say, but Matt Hardy is so full of himself (and Chik-Fil-A) that he thinks he needs to go on and on for seven minutes talking all this bullshit. He’s like a little kid who borrowed his mom’s video camera and started rambling “like those guys on TV! I like rasslin’!” This is embarrassing, but I’m sure he’s proud. At least the next two are better, but they’re still not good, as per my “prettiest Denny’s waitress” theory.

He’s winded at the end *after* standing there for a full minute! And as a brilliant YouTube commenter wrote, What’s too dangerous, running that fast with a stomach full of McGriddles?

I hope you crash and test out that “will not die” thing. -Eric

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 278 other followers

%d bloggers like this: