People for the Eating of Tasty Animals sides with Daniel Bryan

peta cow dog

Is this ethical?

I saw this on some hack site yesterday and thought nothing of it until I saw it on the Torch and Dot Net, sooo… according to and, PETA director Dan Shannon reached out to WWE and Vince McMahon to get animal-friendly free agent Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson) back on the WWE roster.

I might not personally carry the same clout as other Bryan supporters like John Cena or Shawn Michaels (although I do consider myself “The Showstopper of PETA”), but I am, along with many of my colleagues, a huge Daniel Bryan fan, not only because he humiliated The Miz and Michael Cole a few weeks back on Raw but also because he’s vegan.

Shannon also suggested “there could even be a storyline romance between Bryan and the gorgeous vegan Tiffany!” Well, that’s the last we’ve seen of Tiffany.

OK, how do I put this nicely…….. you see, PETA is full of fags. They take themselves way the fuck too seriously, going so far recently as suggesting Punxsutawney Phil, the famed groundhog upon whom we lay blame for six more weeks of snow every Feb. 2, be replaced with a robotic groundhog because Phil is being abused every year. You know what? Fuck you. I do my part: I don’t kick stray dogs, I cry during “Animal Cops: Houston,” and I stopped tearing the wings off of bugs months ago. I love all living beings, but I do it during my real-life time, not my escapism. I don’t need you interfering in my enjoyment of pro wrestling. If and when Bryan Danielson comes back to WWE, it’s not going to be because of you queers, or because he took a reusable bag back to the co-op grocery store, or because he planted a tree while John Denver music played in the background. It’ll be because he’s the best in the world. (And so is a nice, juicy rib-eye.) -Eric

One Response to “People for the Eating of Tasty Animals sides with Daniel Bryan”

  1. stuntgranny 2010-06-22 at 5:10 pm #

    Best in the world is Peach Orchard Punch. Holy fucking shit, delicious. I anxiously await a letter from the head of the People For Ethical Treatment of Peaches.

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