"Get me away from these turds and in the ring with Lady Gaga!"

In an interview at the Miami New Times, The Miz discusses his childhood interest in professional wrestling, including the wrestlers he loved (a list of tag teams) and hated (a Stunt Granny favorite, actually), and describes his path to WWE, from California’s UPW through WWE “Tough Enough” and more. But most importantly, The Miz talks about being willing to beat up Lady Gaga, a conversation I swear to Christ up above I had with Dusty last week.

OK, next question: If you could drag any civilian, celebrity, or whatever into the ring and give him or her a beatdown, who would it be?

I don’t know. Who’s the most popular person in the world today.

Umm … Lady Gaga?

OK. I’ll take out Lady Gaga in the ring. Then, when I beat her, I’ll be the most popular person in the entire world and that’s what I set out to be. But I want her to wear a crazy costume, too.

So here was the train of thought I had, which I conveyed to Dusty a while ago: After watching the hall of fame disc in the WrestleMania 26 DVD set, I thought more about how Wendi Richter leeched off of Cyndi Lauper’s popularity, how Lauper was incorporated into the WWF via a live, televised angle with Roddy Piper, and how Lauper’s participation in the WWF’s MTV special and at WrestleMania helped sky-rocket the WWF into the mainstream. I asked Dusty who could do that today, and I mentioned Lady Gaga as today’s Cyndi Lauper. In wondering who could play the Roddy Piper part, the Miz came to mind immediately.

My scenario involved Lady Gaga either hosting Monday Night Raw or presenting a Slammy for, say, best entrance music on a three-hour Raw special. Gaga’s appearance would draw out the Miz, saying there’s only room in WWE for one person who’s been on MTV. Blah blah blah, scuffle scuffle scuffle, maybe some agents try to remove Miz from the scene, and Gaga accidentally takes an elbow from Miz in the melee. Then through shenanigans, a female (maybe Beth Phoenix) gets involved, that can be the diva Gaga “manages,” and maybe Miz can return to talking smack to John Cena, this time mentioning his “terrible rap music,” saying Miz is the best entertainer… I don’t know, this could go a dozen different ways, but the end goal would be a working relationship with Lady Gaga and a boost to Miz’s main-event push. Come on, WWE Mole, where have you been these past couple of years? -Eric