Big Scott Hall is rolling in his early grave over that mustache.

According to Prowrestling.net, Vince McMahon will return to WWE Monday Night Raw tonight. Raw is in Milwaukee, Wis., so here’s a dream scenario that’s basically an exercise in futility, because when does this shit ever happen? McMahon boisterously claims he woke up from his coma because of a rrrumbling in the ground! Something that only the fans of the Green Bay Packers could make happen! Hooray, right? Oh no, my friends! McMahon came to just in time to see Packers QB Aaron Rodgers celebrating his team’s Super Bowl win with the WWE World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder. Sour-faced McMahon starts stamping around, screaming, “That’s MY belt! That’s MY belt!” until the crowd completely turns on him. Then a) Rodgers appears in person and clocks McMahon with the belt, or b) Rodgers appears on the Titantron, says he’ll be at Smackdown (which is supposed to be taped in Green Bay the same day as the Packers’ celebration parade), and *then* he clocks McMahon. Then we get SportsCenter moments up the ass involving a big pro wrestling fan on the road to WrestleMania. Does anyone care that I just wasted 198 words’ worth of energy thinking of this? Me either. -Eric