My boy Andrew McCutchen kept me from starting Raw on time. He didn’t do so well in the Home Run Derby. That’s OK as long as he keeps hitting the way he is right now when it counts. No peanut gallery today. Back to me and my lap top. Let’s roll.
AJ gets the opening rewind segment and gets to open the mic work. She doesn’t do much except intro CM Punk. Damn, is she doing a convincing crazy. And she’s carrying the mic load with Punk in the ring. AJ proposes. Punk has an outstanding reaction. Daniel Bryan comes running out to answer for Punk. Bryan tries to get Punk to accept her proposal to turn the tables. Goat Boy proposes to AJ. Punk points out the obvious that Bryan doesn’t have a ring. Can we please just make Mitchell Cool the Raw GM and get him out of the booth? The WWE could help everyone out by doing that. Eve Torres, the flavor of last month, gets to team with Bryan. Are we to believe it’s the same mystery GM? Since they didn’t have a reveal last time, are they expecting us to want a resolution to the whole fiasco? Because I could give a fuck less. AJ gets to close the segment by teasing a future husband.
Sheamus is taking on Jack Swagger. It’s a squash match. There is no reason to believe Alberto Del Rio can win on Sunday. Have him attack Sheamus from now until Sunday and I still won’t buy Del Rio winning the title. Del Rio cuts another average promo to keep us wondering why the WWE has faith in this guy. Santino Marella is talking to Zack Ryder. Great, the GM is in the building and Santino is going to find him or her. I can’t wait for the dumb skits to continue. (If you can’t read the sarcasm in the last two sentences, you’re a dunce.)
Since they have so many replays to play, none of the participants in this tag match get an introduction. So we know they’re all important. Dolph Ziggler & Tensai are taking on Christian & Tyson Kidd. Tensai gets a much needed win over Christian. What’s the purpose of the match? Tensai power bombs Kidd on the apron. I guess we’re in rebuild Tensai mode now? We’re to believe they’re going to choose a GM at the 1000th Raw. Cool refuses to read the email so Jerry Lawler does the honors. So instead of sinking time into the guys in the PPV, we get a Lawler vs Cool rematch.
I almost catch up by FF thru the Funkasaurus‘s entrance. Drew McIntyre gets squashed. What is the total match time so far? Under two minutes? Cool selling us on wanting to see the crap instead of wrestling. Santino gets to be unfunny with Chris Jericho. Big Show salvages the segment.
Filed under: Kevin's Blog, TV Recaps, WWE News | Tagged: AJ Lee, Alberto Del Rio, Andrew McCutchen, Big Show, Brodus Clay, Chris Jericho, Christian, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Eve Torres, Jack Swagger, Jerry Lawler, John Cena, Kane, Mitchell Cool, Pittsburgh Pirates, Santino Marella, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Tensai, The Funkasaurus, The Great Khali, Tyson Kidd, zack ryder | Leave a Comment »