According to Wrestlezone.com (and doesn’t it just make you feel icky to think that we’re giving them credit for anything?) NBC’s Bay Area affiliate has confirmed that WWE WrestleMania 31 will be held at Levi’s Stadium, the soon-to-be-home of the San Francisco 49ers. Ticketholders should look under their seats for their complimentary pair of John Cena commemorative Levi’s jorts.
In news that only kinda sounds confirmed, the same source says WrestleMania 32 will be held at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, the home of the Dallas Cowboys. Ticketholders should look under their seats to find Tony Romo’s fourth quarters.
The real news here is that WWE will host its biggest event of 2016 in a stadium that once held 105,000 people and will likely demolish its past attendance records, and will spend 2015 in San Francisco, home of the used syringe and piles of homeless people’s dog shit. While in San Francisco, avoid eye contact with anyone loitering outside a Walgreen’s, and watch your step in Haight Ashbury. -Eric