Stunt Granny Conversation: Brock Lesnar, $9.99 and Cesaro

Show Paul Heyman the money!

Show Paul Heyman the money!

Jeremy:  I saw a little bit of raw last night. I crashed in and out. the Brock promo was great outside of the awkward final line of blood, urine and vomit.
Kevin:  Cool. Lesnar loves talking about bodily functions for some reason.
Jeremy:  It is always impressive when he talks. Shorter sound bites like that the better.
Kevin:  I’ve never had much of a problem with his promos. I don’t want him filling 15 minutes but that list is really short any way.
Jeremy:  Yeah he was always fine but these concentrated bursts are way more effective. The monster in a horror movie doesn’t talk for a reason. Adds mysetery.
Kevin:  Were you going to say dysentery instead of mystery? Brock would have.
Jeremy:  Mystery. Remember the Hall of Fame before WM 27? Abdullah The Butcher was talking and we all just looked at each other saying This is what he sounds like?” If Abdullah would have spoke in his career he makes no money
Kevin:  He couldn’t have drawn a dime with that voice. Brock’s isn’t that bad. Not like Paul Heyman was doing Brock’s UFC promos. Granted, it’s smart for the WWE to go that way. That whole vignette felt very UFC anyway. They don’t make their fighters babble on.
Jeremy:  WWE would be good to adapt that style of promo for big matches or fights in this case. I am always an advocate for a sports feel to their production though.
Kevin:  We have mentioned that for quite a while. The fact that Heyman is an advocate makes me wonder if Vince has some weird hang up with the word agent. Just another spot that they could blur the line more between their sport and reality but they don’t take it.
Jeremy:  Yeah no one is a manager it is spokesperson, advocate blah blah
Kevin:  It makes sense to have Zeb Colter as a manager but Heyman brings up clients, moves on to other people, dresses in a nice suit, all the trappings of an agent.

Jeremy:  They still don’t call him a manager though, not hat I remember tat least. Lana isn’t even Rusev’s manager. I suppose it is too old school in thinking.
Kevin:  I guess it’s fascinating to me because of how much revolutionary stuff they do that they get stuck on these dumb hang ups. I noted last night Michael Cole mentioning the refs name. It shouldn’t be an issue. People that watch any sport with a consistency knows the names of referees/officials.
Jeremy:  At least they know the same ones. In the NFL you know the referees for sure. In WWE it should be common place since it is the saem 4 every week.
Kevin:  Speaking of them being revolutionary, how many extra buys do you think the $9.99 campaign brought in? And was that the announcer’s choice to ridicule the people in the back by mentioning it so often?
Jeremy:  Probably the worst marketing they could have done. It was such a turnoff that it was a definite tune out by the end of first hour. Then making fun of the fact they are promoting it so hard is even dumber.
Kevin:  I was gone after the HHH segment. They helped me keep moving the show along.
Jeremy:  I tapped when JBL wrote it on paper and covered Cole’s face. It is an incredibly shallow attempt to laugh at yourself while overselling.
Kevin:  Unfortunately, try as I might to avoid hearing it again, they still slipped it during commentary since match calling is 4th on the list of things an announcer should do.
Jeremy:  It is incredible the amount of pushing they are doing for this now. There was nowhere near this level of advertising before WrestleMania 30.
Kevin:  Knowing that they didn’t get as many subscribers as they had expected makes me realize that it all reeks of desperation.
Jeremy:  Right on and it is still confusing that there were actual PPV buys. There are a lot of dumb people out there.
Kevin:  I can’t say I looked at numbers but that’s incredibly dumb to order a PPV. I remember looking at the report of multiple PPV buyers that listed something close to the Network subscription. I always go back to the thinking that I normally buy Royal Rumble & Wrestlemania which together cost more than the WWE Network for a year. I don’t think they can raise prices either.
Jeremy:  I believe extreme rules or battleground dod 60,000. A whole lot of dumb
Kevin:  Wow, that’s incredible. My brain hurts from it. Anything else stick out to you on Raw before you dozed off?

Jeremy:  No it was a mess of a show. Between the $9.99 barrage and over all boredom. Have we mentioned what has become of Cesaro?
Kevin:  I’m not even sure what to say at this point. I feel like I typed this somewhere but can’t find it – Was Wrestlemania a mirage? Did he really win the Andre The Giant Battle Royal? He fell off a cliff quicker than when Swagger kicked Ziggler in the head.
Jeremy:  yeah I read that but it still requires mentioning. All of that Wrestlemania momentum is dead. Inexplicably dead. Was he a victim of Wrestlemania hype or was the big swing the only thing he had going? he had killer matches leading up but then he jobs relentlessly since.
Kevin:  I always love people saying “Well at least he’s on TV!” How can you even say that? It’s pretty clear they had no path for him with Heyman or they cancelled it for some reason. I liked his match last week but it was his only competitive match and it was with John Cena. After consecutive weeks of jobbing to Kofi in short matches. Talk about confusing.
Jeremy:  But Kofi is in Blacktion (TM) now damn it. I thought the Cena match would be a turning point but nope. Moving him from Heyman made sense so he could concentrate on Brock. Other than that, no idea what happened.
Kevin:  I’m so stealing that faction name for my column. Same here, I expected him to move back up the food chain or at least treat water until Summerslam but there he is jobbing in no time flat to Ziggler. The WWE tough love is a fickle mistress.
Jeremy:  Is it even tough love if it is clear there was no plan for him? As soon as he teamed with Heyman he started losing. It makes no sense.
Kevin:  I’m at a loss for what else to call it. I’m not sure why you have him get over with the Swing but then team him with two heel managers and make him stop using the move. Would they tell Cena to stop using the Five Knuckle Shuffle?
Jeremy:  Well it got a pop so as a heel you need to turn it off until the face turn so I understand that. Making him a heel when he was getting cheers was the real problem.
Kevin:  I remember noting that at the time of the switch to Heyman but writing it off. It was a valid concern. It’s not like Cesaro has a bunch of years in him either. He’s 33 so he needs a shot now more than say Roman Reigns.
Jeremy:  Yeah the push of Roman Reigns is kind of silly. Here is a new guy shoot him too moon immediately. Slow it down but maybe by the time Wrestlemania 31 rolls around I will think differently.
Kevin:  I like Reigns. I have enjoyed his matches and move set but he seems way more unproven than Cesaro. That is why I used him as an example though. Reigns is 29 and could use more seasoning. Cesaro needs, um, some mic work? I don’t think it’s bad but when your gimmick is speaking 5 languages, it’s hard to make it a good promo.
Jeremy:  Cesaro needs mic work in general. his promo last week was as long as he has ever had.

Kevin:  Do you mean he could improve or just getting more of it in general?
Jeremy:  Getting more of it. I am an advocate of that in general.
Kevin:  So one last question, can I listen to We Watch Stuff #8 even though I haven’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy?
Jeremy:  No but you can listen to the beginning as we discuss Sharknado then give up and tell people to listen to the OHPA show.
No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *