Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 14 September 2015

Playhouse on the Square in Memphis TN from Wikipedia

Playhouse on the Square in Memphis TN from Wikipedia

Stephanie McMahon & HHH get to start the show off. At least it isn’t Seth Rollins? I’m mildly intrigued by the placement on the Night of Champions’s card of both of these matches. They hype their respective pet projects. HHH finally gets my attention by saying that Sting will have a match on Raw. He’s taking on Big Show. Stephanie gets to introduce New Day. HHH & Steph dance with New Day.

The Prime Time Players are taking them on. Darren Young starts against Kofi Kingston. Titus and Big E end up squaring off. The announcers tell us that we don’t have room for a three way on Sunday so this is a title match. Young gets a hot tag. The crowd is confused and doesn’t cheer. Xavier Woods distracts the referee which allows New Day to start the beat down.

Woods does the Pink Panther theme back from commercial. HHH & Steph weren’t going to dance with New Day if they were going to lose this match. They’re heels. Dudleyz are the returning heroes. The big guys square off again. Titus gives Kofi a triple back breaker. Splash in the corner, two for the price of one. Spinebuster on Big E. Woods causes a distraction again. Super Big Ending for the win. New Day dances on the announce table. The Dudley Boyz come out and bark at New Day.

HHH & Steph are talking back stage when Seth Rollins crashes in. They book John Cena vs Sheamus for tonight. Everyone is back together as a team. We continue the see saw relationship. For some reason Charlotte has her face bejeweled. Ric Flair is there with her. He gets to sell their importance. Smart move since the traction hasn’t been all that great. Solid stuff again from Charlotte.

Becky Lynch comes to the ring Paige. She is taking on Sasha Banks again. Naomi & Tamina are there to continue to look inferior. Paige is taking it to Sasha early. Sasha hangs her out and gain the advantage. The announcers are still talking about famous women in sports. I’m starting to think this Memphis crowd kind of sucks. Sasha takes a brutal looking release German Suplex. Tamina pulls Sasha out of the way so that Paige misses. Sasha slaps on the Bank Statement for the delayed tap out win. Team BAD beats down Becky & Paige. They show the replay of the Wyatt’s beating down any possible partners for Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns.

I understand my podcast partner Chris Calamita thinking that it was an awkward transition from dead children to the Wyatt Family. I guess they figured they were both gruesome things that should be grouped together to get done at once. Wyatt wants The Miz, Ambrose & Reigns to feel pain. No matter how many people show up at NOC, they all fall down. Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns come in through the crowd. Reigns tells Wyatt that he needs the advantage of three on two to be a man. Reigns tells him they’re going to bring the fight and win. No partner is announced.

John Cena comes out first. Sheamus is up next. Nothing much happens before the break. Sheamus hits a flying knee drop off the middle rope. Nice update to his offense. Cena gets the usual come back. Tornado DDT by Cena only gets a two count. Sheamus is going to that modified clover leaf again. Cena breaks by getting to the ropes. Ten Beats by Sheamus. Cena reverses into an STF. Cena goes for Ten Beats. People chant along. Sheamus catches Cena with a running high knee. Sheamus plants Cena with a slam/suplex hybrid. Cena flap jacks Sheamus from his shoulders. Sheamus counters into a rolling senton. Cena pops up and gives him an AA for the win.

For some reason, Ryback starts off with an Elvis impersonation. Kevin Owens comes out quickly. Owens tells Ryback that his book is garbage. He says the book is a crutch for weak people. I guess Owens was talking about some book mentioned in Ryback’s book. Ryback calls Owens story inspirational. Ryback talks about falling on his face when he got to the top of the WWE. Owens promises that he is going to take the Intercontinental Championship from him. Ryback informs Owens that they have a match at NOC.

Stardust is hanging out with the Ascension still. Neville comes out. He brings out the Lucha Dragons out with him. The baby faces attack and clear the ring quickly. That’s all the time they get. Nikki Bella gets a video package entirely too late. Much like the clock about her title reign. She has no heart in this video package. Nikki, you didn’t cement a legacy. No one will remember you except for eye candy still.

This match is so important, Charlotte doesn’t get an entrance. Nikki Bella already has tied the record so this match is even less meaningful than I had anticipated. Michael Cole vouches for Nikki now of all times. Cool flip spot for Charlotte. Nikki battles back with a knee. Nikki starts working over an arm for the first time in her career. Nikki is still working it after the break. Charlotte powers out of an arm bar and slams Nikki. Charlotte has a mini come back until Nikki drop kicks her arm. Charlotte counters the Alabama Slam. Alicia Fox interferes. Brie takes Nikki’s place. Charlotte rolls her up for the win. Stephanie McMahon comes out. Charlotte wins by DQ. I’m pretty sure Ronda Rousey won by DQ at her last PPV. Nikki loses the title even by DQ or count out on Sunday.

Rusev comes to the ring with Summer Rae. Cesaro gets to lose to him again. The only thing intersting about the match is when Dolph Ziggler shows up with a present for Summer. Cesaro ties up Rusev and gets the win. Ziggler dips into the ring and super kicks Rusev as he gets up. Summer takes the package with her. Are we going to see a manager double switch on Sunday or does this drag out until Lana recovers from the surgery?

Summer Rae opens up the package and likes it. Dolph is a bad person. So is Summer. Big Show gets an audience with Steph & HHH. Part of Sting’s retrospective was last week. Welcome to the WWE, Sting.

The Big Show vs Sting match. Seth Rollins rushes the ring and attacks. John Cena comes out for the save. It has no life because it should have been announced as a tag team match in the first place. John Cena takes the bulk of the in ring work. Splash off the middle ropes doesn’t get the three count. Shouldn’t the announcers be selling that Cena is in his second match of the night? Sting gets the hot tag. Big Show plows over Sting to break the moment. Cena AAs Big Show. Sting gets Rollins to tap to the Scorpion Death Lock. Double retention for Rollins on Sunday? – Kevin

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