Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw – 27 June ’16

Henry B. Plant Museum saved from Photo by Ebyabe.

Henry B. Plant Museum saved from Photo by Ebyabe.

The WWE starts us off with Seth Rollins who comes out and just tells everyone about the Roman Reigns suspension. He then mocks everything that Reigns stood for. Dean Ambrose comes down and wonders whether Rollins has a problem with Reigns or Ambrose having the WWE Title. AJ Styles comes out and says it should remain a triple threat, but he should replace Reigns. Styles even suggests a four way match. Ambrose is game but Rollins wants it to be one on one. John Cena comes out to say his piece. After pumping up Ambrose, Cena goes for making a five way match. Stephanie McMahon is here to moderate this decision. Shane is not here again. She makes matches between Cena & Rollins and Styles & Ambrose. If Cena or Styles can win, they’re in the match at Battleground. We all know the outcome after the first of these matches, right? Cena & Styles are a package deal for the time being so a win = a second win, right?

Sasha Banks & Paige are taking on Charlotte & Dana Brooke. It drives me bananas that Byron Saxton doesn’t use JBL’s own logic that everyone is out for themselves when he talks about Brooke following Charlotte. Paige is taking the beating after the break. Paige fights out of the corner, gets caught but fights out. Banks with the hot tag. Charlotte pulls Banks out of the ring during a pin attempt. Banks tosses Charlotte into a Paige Super Kick. Banks wins with a tap out in the Bank Statement.

Lana continues to introduce Rusev for his ring entrance. You have to justify paying her, right? He is taking on Titus O’Neil again. Titus takes it to Rusev in the early going. Rusev fires back with a clothes line. This feud has been a lot more fun than I expected. O’Neil has really stepped up. It also reminds me of Cesaro vs Sheamus. Just two guys who really look like they are beating the tar out of each other. They double clothes line each other. When they recover, Rusev charges O’Neil who side steps and tosses Rusev over the barrier. O’Neil gets back in to the ring for the count out victory.

Stephanie is on a fake phone call when Corporate Kane interrupts. He just wants a chance and Shane won’t give it to him. The Miz & Maryse wonder where the red carpet. Kane correctly points out that because the Miz has been gone a month, he needs to defend his title that often or be forced to relinquish it. Stephanie makes a match with him later with a “cliff hanger” opponent.

John Cena is set to take on Seth Rollins. I wonder if that Cena vs Kurt Angle match holds up 14 years later. I remember being extremely impressed at the time.  I’ve spent my time watching this match and arguing about pro vs college football. Rollins missing a frog splash catches my attention though. Rollins recovers first and follows with a Superplex into a Falcon Arrow. Cena gets out of a Pedigree. Cena powers through a cross body and turns it into an AA. Rollins gets his foot on the ropes to break the count. Cena goes for a second when AJ Styles & The Club come down to distract Cena. Rollins Pedigrees Cena for the win.

Enzo Amore & Big Cass hit the ring. They get the crowd to do the wave. They beat some jobbers quickly. The Social Outcasts come out and spell H-A-R-D. They were on the set of Marine 5. Slater takes a big boot which makes the Outcasts retreat.

Am I going to hell for FF thru the Special Olympics segment?

Natalya channels Owen Hart and says “Enough is enough, it’s time for a change.” Becky Lynch skips taking on Summer Rae and attacks Natalya who was on commentary. No match.

Chris Jericho comes out and complains. He invites out Kevin Owens and then Sami Zayn. They go over the history one more time. I’m only half into it but Zayn grabs my attention by saying Owens is hiding some information. Owens comes back and says that he isn’t hiding anything. He thinks that Zayn is just mad because Owens won the NXT Title at his expense. Owens accepts Zayn’s challenge at Battleground. Jericho has to get his piece in. He insults Zayn for not following Jericho’s lead unlike Owens. Jericho wants them to just drink him in. Zayn & Owens double super kick him.

The Miz has to take on Demon Kane. Kane dominates the match. Maryse fake falls and fake gets injured. The Miz carries her to the back for the count out loss. Yep, that segment was that interesting. Count outs are popular today.

Apollo Crews & Cesaro are taking on Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio. I enjoy the fact that the WWE is continuing a story line from the recent past. Sheamus & Del Rio don’t get along in this match which cost them the match up. Spinning Sit Down Power Bomb on Sheamus for the win.

Dean Ambrose is excited about being champion. He hasn’t gotten some things he expected like a parade. Stephanie calls his reign a nightmare. Please, please don’t go back to evil Authority horse shit.

New Day pulls out an old staple and comes to the ring dressed as the Wyatt Family. People are wondering why New Day picked on the Wyatts. They say that the Wyatt’s have been preaching too much negativity. Bray Wyatt stays focused on how positivity can’t help you in all situations. He also keys in on Xavier Woods looking worried about the situation unlike Kofi Kingston or Big E.

Woods is still acting sullen back stage while Big E & Kofi are boisterous.

Dean Ambrose takes on AJ Styles in the main event. The attraction though is Seth Rollins on the head set who is rooting for Ambrose so that it remains a triple threat match at Battleground. Things get interesting when The Club shows up and distracts Ambrose. Styles takes advantage a brain buster. John Cena comes out and attacks Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows. Styles gets distracted. Ambrose with Dirty Deeds for the win. Anderson & Gallows attack Cena from behind. Rollins attacks Ambrose from behind. Magic Killer on Cena on the ramp. Rollins Pedigrees Ambrose to not be out shone. – Kevin DiFrango

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